7/31/2013 c1 2Peter900
I really like your story.
Great opening. The visual imagery which you created is excellent. i.e. the morning
slithering through the curtains...and the balance created a very realistic scene in my mind.
You have a very smooth, somewhat minimalist writing style that is very comfortable
to follow.
If this is the end of the story, great as well.
Penny is back, explaining that Jess is going to miss Daniel very much.
Guess she should have kept those appointments with Dr. Schwartz after all... :)
The mention of "forgive" or forgiveness is interesting and, I believe, has great
potential for development. Jess forgiving Penny; how will they resolve that?
Does Dr. Schwartz survive before the call is made to, presumably, 911?
If it is not the end, then please post more.
In any event, nice job.
If there is more to come, I would be happy to follow your story. It's good. I am
sorry that it ended after 1,901 wonderful words.

If you get a chance, please have a look at my post:

Hell, Fire, Oil & Brimstone

Any comments would be appreciated.

Thanks
Peter.