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for The Reality of Happily Ever After

11/27/2015 c16 Q
I've been a fan since the first book was published on Fictionpress. So much so that I bought the book when it was published electronically as well :-) Thank you for sharing your talent with all of us. :) It's been a while since you've updated, so I'm not sure if you'll even be able to read this. Still, I'm grateful for this little bit of sequel haha.
8/26/2014 c16 Simaran

I read Reality of Fairy Tales a couple of times years ago, and sort of disappeared from FP for a while. I came back and was so excited to find the sequel! I know you haven't updated in a while, but I would love it if you could continue with the story. You're an amazing writer and I think this story is going to get me hooked on FP again.

I really hope you update soon (it's too good to abandon)!

3/7/2014 c16 Q
Hello! :)

I don't remember how many years it has been since I first picked up The Reality of Fairy Tales on FP. But I loved every single character so much that I decided to revisit the story again years later (took me quite a while to locate the right title and FP user since my mind only managed to pick up bits and pieces. Thank God for Google hehe). I found out that you had it self-published by then and I couldn't resist purchasing it. That was quite a long time ago too. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I decided to revisit your FP account again, only to find a sequel with a total of 16 chapters for me to devour at one go!

Your story has really left an extremely deep impression on me. The characters are so amazingly crafted that I can see everything so clearly - except the Economics and Business aspect of it HAHA - and realistically. And the love between Devon and Chase leaves me breathless as well. They're characters that can stand alone and keep a story going strong, and together they make such a beautiful pair that I just... iabdfkblgbadsifbskdbfkalbff

Excuse this little fangirl. And I guess all I wanted to say was thank you for deciding to continue on with the sequel. I'm so excited from all these new writings that I can't think straight now...
1/26/2014 c1 19jekodama
I'm so gonna love this...
10/19/2013 c14 belugaaa
Thanks for the update! Man, I am so excited to see this chapter after the kind-of-cliffhanger you left us on last chapter. :) And this chapter was everything I was hoping for-Chastane and Devon's first real interaction after Chastane tells Devon she loves him was written incredibly well. LOVE. I liked reading about Devon's realization of what happened after Chastane's confessions and how it demonstrates Devon's psychological/physiological issues.

I think using "it *was* reflexive more than conscious, and it certainly wasn't done willingly" would be better here to stay consistent, and passive voice doesn't make as much sense here. And also "Though *the news was* disturbing, Devon felt sure he could..." otherwise it sounds like Devon is described as disturbing.

And the plot thickens! Can't wait to read the whole story about Brian )
10/17/2013 c13 Grace
It's been weeks but I'm still waiting to find out what happens next! Please keep posting!
9/9/2013 c1 3E. Marsel
Ohhhh my goodness! I loved reading this story. It was so good! Please update soon! I would love to read the first book!
9/8/2013 c13 belugaaa
Yay! Update. Haha I feel like I always start with something along these lines-but I seriously get so happy whenever I see an update.

Chastane's train of thoughts as she is sitting outside Diedra's house is spot on, which, in my mind, is an example of how your writing is still emotion laden storytelling.

Perhaps, this sentence should be: "The public, and more importantly his peers, *would prove* much less forgiving in his case." since it is a hypothetical scenario and Devon's therapy sessions haven't yet been leaked? Though now that I bring up that point, maybe "prove" wouldn't be entirely appropriate for this sentence.

So in this sentence ( "Naomi's warning that Chase better catch up, implying that someone else would ran through her head"), your meaning is clear, but tweaking the last bit "implying that someone else would ran through her head" would make the sentence a bit easier to read since it seems to flow too quickly from one idea to the next imo.

Let me revise my earlier statement-I love your portrayal of Chastane's point of view period. The way she looks for Devon's imprint on her house shows consistency in telling the readers about Chastane's lingering feelings towards Devon, without directly spelling it out for us. It's also a detail that novice writers usually forget to write into their transition descriptions of places and events.

I'm not quite sure if you meant "couldn't quite place" or "didn't exactly"-but the order of words in "The woman's sultry accent that Chase couldn't place exactly didn't help matters." made me pause a bit, since both of these cases seem similar to the sentence.

Should it be "gave Chase some *peace* of mind" and "she felt *perfectly* entitled to ask."

Ahhhh. Yayy. She's referring to him as her husband. Haven't picked up on that before now. And her Devon! Gosh this is making so happy.

Oh my gosh I can't believe you left the cliffhanger there. Not cool. Forgiven, but oh my gosh-you've definitely whetted my appetite for more. And did I see a plural there for old favorites? I can't wait to see who else you have in store!
9/2/2013 c12 belugaaa
Yay! Every time I see an update for this story, I get this silly grin on my face!

In the sentence that starts with, "One reason he'd contracted Diedra was her reputation", it might be a little helpful to change it to "One reason he'd contracted Diedra was *because* her reputation", so that the sentence is a bit easier to understand and follow. Also, I'm more used to reading "*Or* so he'd believed when they met the first few times." Since I think "Or so" is used more conventionally in cases like this and it provides the contrast between the past and present alluded to in the following sentence.

The other diagonses! What other diagnoses? I'm not surprised though, and I'm guessing that it is probably connected to Chastane and their relationship. Did he even fully disclose details to her when he told her about his PTSD? Oh, I wish Devon would stop hiding things from her, but after years of being so ingrained into doing so, he isn't likely to turn over a completely new leaf so quickly.

On that note, Diedra's counseling seems to be really good for Devon. I wonder what her relationship will be like when she meets Chastane. Haha, I also have to wonder how much research you do when you write these stories. I'm not an expert on economics or psychology, but you make everything seem plausible.

Oh my gosh. This chapter is so long. Just scrolled down for a quick glance, and got pretty ecstatic. I love the part where Devon recalls how Chastane brought up his "affair" and how their relationship decline after her pregnancy, especially the bit about Devon entertaining the idea of an affair. It's moments like these where your story is just so real, and it is so easy to empathize with Devon.

I think it would be helpful for you to add an "at" in this sentence: "I don't know why meeting you would change anything *at* this point". Oh wow, yeah I love your writing and I love reading all of Devon and Chase's interactions. Haha you addressed all the comments I had up there in the last half of your chapter! Oh well, I'll leave them up there anyway I suppose...

I'm so glad to actually meet Naomi. She's met all my expectations of her with her decision to age naturally and her all around bluntness. Dunn sorority. That's such a good term. Okay, I'm ready for the next update now. Haha. :)
8/28/2013 c1 Jenny
also I'd like to say that the idea of Devon Dunn completely ruined high school boys for me way back when and caused me to set unbelievably high and unattainable standards. but then I met a Devin Dunn and all the waiting was worth it :)
8/28/2013 c1 Jenny
Omg! I can't believe you're writing a sequel! I read, reread and loved the original story 8 years ago
8/28/2013 c11 belugaaa
Yay! Another update! I'll eventually go back and review the last two chapters, but I didn't want to get back into the habit of putting off reviewing. I'd love to see the longer chapters. :)

Okay, this might just be me being too slow to connect the dots, but the last bit of the sentence that ends with "definitely not with someone she had always regarded as professionally immeasurable however." doesn't make sense to me?

YES! Naomi's in the story! I'm so glad. Reading The Reality of Fairytales always made me so curious about her. It's like you've taken all of the super interesting characters from your first book and developed them here. Will we be seeing anything about Brian? He kind of felt like a loose end.

I don't think you need the "While" in this sentence: "While Devon may have been out of DPC's affairs for too long, but he too sat on multiple boards, not to mention his consulting activities."

I liked the last few paragraphs because it seems like Chastane is finally waking up and feeling for the first time in a long time.
8/26/2013 c8 belugaaa
this chapter is nostalgic and i love that you bring back Devon and Marjorie's birthday tradition, but because i know that these little parts are building up to the failure of their relationship, i kind of read this with nervous dread to be honest. This was an interesting chapter. I think earlier I remember reading that Chastane changed after Robbie died? So it's interesting to note that Chase also observes the change in Devon after Robbie's death. As a reader, I suppose the jury's still out as to the cause of the change in Devon-whether it was due to Robbie's death or its impact on Chase.
8/26/2013 c7 belugaaa
gah, mad behind on reviewing for this story, but wanted to drop a few lines for you. :) Devon is an intellectual beast and i love it. i love the humor in this chapter-the bit where Chase classifies Devon's tactical ability as controlled by the part of his brain that regulates his automatic functions and the bit about the cherub made me laugh out loud. Their relationship has me sitting on the edge of my seat, and I love seeing how their relationship is redeveloping now that the truth about the "affair" has been aired out between them. Devon is clearly the person who cares about and has impacted Chase the most, and vice versa, so I am enjoying seeing how that fact is influencing their actions and decisions now. i liked the part where you wrote that Chastane felt old. Small details like this is what makes your stories so believably realistic despite the fact that these ultra wealthy elites live in a world that is fairly unrelatable. Ahh there's so much i love about this story-i could almost go line by line. on to the next chapter for now though!
8/18/2013 c10 Grace
Still don't quite understand the financial lingo of the story, but I'm so pleased to see that Chase and Devon are starting to get their chemistry back! Eva is fun, as always. :) Please keep writing!
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