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for Love Thy Enemy

12/29/2013 c1 Sya Rael
I liked your summary, when I first read it I was reminded of X-men for some reason.
I have to say, the plot is interesting, I love where this story is going, but I feel like you're kind of rushing it. I mean for people who like short chapters, this is perfect. I like long descriptive chapters because then I can imagine what is actually going on in the story. Though it's up to you if you want to make your story more descriptive. Another thing I notice was the slight errors you made when writing certain sentences. Some of your sentences didn't make sense to me at first, and most of the time I found it was because of one word (I didn't notice this error much, just wanted to let you know). Btw going back to descriptions, can you please give me a description of the school she attends? I'll love it if you did :)

Ok now to the characters. I believe that your cover must be Darius (he is handsome ;) I like his personality and all, and his story seems sad. The fact that he is the teacher and a werewolf right? Well I like that :D
Prosperity, I like the name and the nickname :) The only thing I didn't quite much like about her was her mood swings. One minute she was shy, the other she was crying, and then she just left like nothing happened. Again I believe this is because you are rushing the story. But after all I like Pro :)

In conclusion (essay form) I like where the story is heading, I just recommend for you to slow down a little, and add more description. Ohh and also, Idk if I am getting ahead of myself, but is Lena going to me mentioned. I mean I find it weird that she just stopped talking to Pro just like that.
P.S I am not really a good writer, and if my criticism seems harsh to you, please know that it was not my intention to offend you. I just wanted to point some things out, so that you can make your story better. As I said before, the idea is great! You should definitely keep writing :p And Accalia her sister? It doesn't clearly explain the hate Accalia feels towards her Pro (I have a few guesses).
Ok I am out, update soon!
12/29/2013 c11 1lord syyn
What a bombshell. Nice twist, and it will spice things up im sure.

Avidly following and enjoying your story so far :)
12/29/2013 c11 EternityLuv
DAYUM. That was intense.
12/29/2013 c10 lord syyn
Well, like the others this chapter is really good.
I liked the interactions between D and Pro, and im curious to see how home life will affect school life.
You know its good when it makes me wish I had a Pro all to myself.
12/28/2013 c9 lord syyn
Thanks. Very nice chapter, and the end, will be very curious to how it all plays out in the future.

There was one bit I found difficult to follow though, the cheating bit, can you check that paragraph again?

Otherwise, nicely written and looking forward to the next chapters.
12/28/2013 c9 Eternity
You and your damn suspense and your damn M. Night Shamylan twists.
You're doing amazing so far though n I love it. Got me feelin girly emotions.
12/28/2013 c8 lord syyn
Well, its interesting. Good spelling, and ive seen only a couple of minor errors - ch2 "use can use a katana".

I enjoy the style of writing, with the pov changes for effect and not just thrown in. Would like to know more of the past for both D and Pro.

Keep it up, very enjoyable to read. Many chapters more i hope.
10/17/2013 c5 3claritylong
My first thought: holy crap.

I love it
8/3/2013 c3 claritylong
heres your review you wanted ;)

i love the story, and i think you are great at writing!

keep it up!
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