for The Neutralist8/6/2013 c2 
1Unxious Custard
A great introduction, but can we please know a little more about what a neutralist is? (There is only a handful of Neutralist witches) There are only a handful of Neuralist witches... because witches is plural.
Sorry, I'm being picky. This is a very good story, which I enjoyed. The characters look set up to have some alarming experiences together. When are you going to write some more?
I do hope you will return the review with a review of my story, Psychics v Terrorists, a modern fantasy set in England.
Good luck with the writing - and please don't stop.
1Unxious CustardA great introduction, but can we please know a little more about what a neutralist is? (There is only a handful of Neutralist witches) There are only a handful of Neuralist witches... because witches is plural.
Sorry, I'm being picky. This is a very good story, which I enjoyed. The characters look set up to have some alarming experiences together. When are you going to write some more?
I do hope you will return the review with a review of my story, Psychics v Terrorists, a modern fantasy set in England.
Good luck with the writing - and please don't stop.
8/6/2013 c1 Unxious Custard
Hi, I like your opening which seems to bring us into another era - one where magic is possible. You have a small tendency to make a few of your sentences too long (the administrative building, it was twilight now and the glow...) This sentence really needed a full stop after building. I caught a few others too, but not many. What a great change of mood in your fifth paragraph. Immediately I sat up and took notice. Oh what a lovely, bumbling trio. I enjoyed their antics immensely. A great contrast between your protagonists. Or should I call them friends?
Hi, I like your opening which seems to bring us into another era - one where magic is possible. You have a small tendency to make a few of your sentences too long (the administrative building, it was twilight now and the glow...) This sentence really needed a full stop after building. I caught a few others too, but not many. What a great change of mood in your fifth paragraph. Immediately I sat up and took notice. Oh what a lovely, bumbling trio. I enjoyed their antics immensely. A great contrast between your protagonists. Or should I call them friends?