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for Eight Hundred and Forty Nine Days Ago

9/10/2013 c1 69AlysonSerenaStone
This was a very well written story. I didn't see any typos or any other issues. It is one that I will remember. Great job!
9/9/2013 c1 5Aureus Lux
Whoa, your writing is so HAUNTING! This is a story I will be sure to remember!
9/8/2013 c1 31TanteLiz
Beautifully crafted! Pacing is excellent, too, very good flow. The story-inside-the-madness isn't new, but to handle it well in a 3,000 word limit is an accomplishment.
9/8/2013 c1 4Lolitroy
More parfait here.

I liked the whole premise, and the prose was simply easy to read. Maybe if the first paragraph had been shorter, you know, people tend to skim long paragraphs, even moreso if they're the first ones.

Aside from that... ack. The end was heartbreaking.

...should I mention I'll never eat waffle cones again?
9/6/2013 c1 26augie.toaste
Interesting premise. I'm guessing that the main character is suppose to have behaviours that place him somewhere on the spectrum. It's a fascinating view to write from. Sounds like you did some research or have some experience in that regard. I would suggest adding maybe one or two elements of characterization that aren't to do with stereotypical behaviours of someone with ASD.

The characters are engaging. It's hard not to like Lola.

I'm not sure if the repetition of certain lines adds to the story - you've already covered the compulsive behaviour with the door locking, counting, and routine.

Great take on the prompt. ;)


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