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for The Brown Horse

11/20/2013 c1 76The Autumn Queen
Nice use of rhyming here; you've made them sound quite natural and they set up a very nice tempo, and yet still takes a cohesive story. You did have a few grammatical errors in there, eg. "the movies over" - I think you meant "the movie's over" and "'strength" has a stray ' in there. The lack of stanza breaks also makes it a little difficult to read. Is that Document Manager doing something again?

Okay, my favourite lines: "yet the empty plate, the quiet sound" and "no one wanted to pay this cost." I especially love that second line, because the tone that encirculates it is not strong or blaming but soft and almost defeatist. The line was a pretty finish as well; a little more on the hopeful side that shows there might be a silver lining after all.
9/25/2013 c1 1Subject-Goto
Wow this was powerful. It's rare that a poem moves me, as so many people write extremely weak entries, but your pacing was perfect, the sentences flowing smoothly and the meaning behind it obviously had a lot of emotion poured into it. It was sad, but with the slight ambience at the end that you know you'll see them again. Very touching. Well done.
9/18/2013 c1 2S.D Stevens
I always think people who write and share their poetry are very brave. It's not something I could do even though I have been known to write it myself. It contains something on a very personal level. And you can see that in your poem. Also, people get their own interpretation of a poem read. I feel yours is very sad, lots of missed opportunities life brings but at the end, it brings promise that you can be reunited with a lost love one.

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