for Flynn and the Forest of Levi Please Review10/22/2013 c1 
13sabrejack
You say you are new to story writing. Well done. You have excellent vocabulary but I must say, here and there I will find a word that doesn't quite fit and is clique. Good imagery in the beginning, I can clearly see the boy and you painted the forest nicely, however, I was surprised when you said it was darker there because I first imagined it very bright where the boy was standing. Also, the nature of the other characters mentioned, the two in the tree watching the three chasing Flynn, is very unclear. It flows well and is interesting please post more. The only thing I don't like is the name Flynn, but that's just me:)
13sabrejackYou say you are new to story writing. Well done. You have excellent vocabulary but I must say, here and there I will find a word that doesn't quite fit and is clique. Good imagery in the beginning, I can clearly see the boy and you painted the forest nicely, however, I was surprised when you said it was darker there because I first imagined it very bright where the boy was standing. Also, the nature of the other characters mentioned, the two in the tree watching the three chasing Flynn, is very unclear. It flows well and is interesting please post more. The only thing I don't like is the name Flynn, but that's just me:)