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1/12/2014 c1 206Night Skye Tears
what's the word s/he likes the most?
11/2/2013 c1 97rust phoenix
The emotional build-up is done very well in this. It feels honest, and your descriptions are beautiful and resonant - "before your words don't match / the ones inside your lungs," "a goodbye at the start/ of a thick novel"

Beautifully written, as usual.
10/28/2013 c1 20Meng En
It has interesting imagery! The atmospheric tone is strongly set in by the desperate tone, and coupled with the poetic hints throughout the novel, we can imagine the visible tension of the moment.

Powerful feeling, well-defined characters through their actions rather than direct description.
I can only suggest a slightly more contained syntax for the poem. The "say something" line is perhaps a little too separated from the stanzas? I realize you want emphasis, but it's my personal opinion hat it would be better if that line would be inserted in the end of each "chunk"
of emotion.
10/28/2013 c1 13RedWineAndAmbien
One word: Uh-mazing!
10/27/2013 c1 12UniverseAnxiety
This whole poem was gorgeous.
10/27/2013 c1 277electrical moon
Wow. The beginning didn't grab me like it usually does, but that ending was beautiful. I loved the last line about your lips bleeding. Well done.

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