for Broken12/29/2016 c4 
4villainous
I AM CONFLICTED BECAUSE I STARTED READING THIS AND THEN I REALISED IT WASN'T COMPLETE AND IDK MAN IDK HOW TO TAKE THAT WHAT
It's going pretty good so far though but I think I'll stop before it gets too good and leaves me hanging!
4villainousI AM CONFLICTED BECAUSE I STARTED READING THIS AND THEN I REALISED IT WASN'T COMPLETE AND IDK MAN IDK HOW TO TAKE THAT WHAT
It's going pretty good so far though but I think I'll stop before it gets too good and leaves me hanging!
7/21/2015 c6 6Annything
Nice long chapter that I got to slide down to get to this lovely box that changes when I press on some keys.
SHITTY REVIEW TIME ACTIVITED. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Natasha: I dated Sammy
Torrie: I'm jelly.
Natasha: wuh eva it's nu big deee-alll!
Torrie: Oh, okay
Natasha: NU IT IS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE MY TONGUE HAS BEEN ON HER VULVA AND NOW IT'S AWKWARD
Torrie: Um. Okay.
Or maybe she meant Torrie's vulva? It was a bit unclear.
Also, the writing quality didn't decline. It's not ugh it's UGH, EXCUSE ME, YOU GOT IT WRONG, HO.
In exercise some people do cooldowns but if you worked super hard won't you just want to collapse? Maybe it's ice water getting poured on their sizzling skin. Like, you try to get them wet but they're so hot that the water turns to steam and drifts away before it can even touch their skin. Getting close to 100 degrees more like being 3hawt5yew.
6AnnythingNice long chapter that I got to slide down to get to this lovely box that changes when I press on some keys.
SHITTY REVIEW TIME ACTIVITED. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Natasha: I dated Sammy
Torrie: I'm jelly.
Natasha: wuh eva it's nu big deee-alll!
Torrie: Oh, okay
Natasha: NU IT IS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE MY TONGUE HAS BEEN ON HER VULVA AND NOW IT'S AWKWARD
Torrie: Um. Okay.
Or maybe she meant Torrie's vulva? It was a bit unclear.
Also, the writing quality didn't decline. It's not ugh it's UGH, EXCUSE ME, YOU GOT IT WRONG, HO.
In exercise some people do cooldowns but if you worked super hard won't you just want to collapse? Maybe it's ice water getting poured on their sizzling skin. Like, you try to get them wet but they're so hot that the water turns to steam and drifts away before it can even touch their skin. Getting close to 100 degrees more like being 3hawt5yew.
7/21/2015 c5 Annything
Okay, after having a fun reread of the entire story I'm finally caught up! :D
INITIATE SHITTY REVIEW TIME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
INITIATE THE FACT THAT TWO BADASS GUYS FUCKING SOUNDS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY. LIKE, THE MORE BADASS THE MORE GAY IT IS.
That is all. I guess.
Okay, after having a fun reread of the entire story I'm finally caught up! :D
INITIATE SHITTY REVIEW TIME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
INITIATE THE FACT THAT TWO BADASS GUYS FUCKING SOUNDS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY. LIKE, THE MORE BADASS THE MORE GAY IT IS.
That is all. I guess.
7/14/2015 c5 s-mayumi
This story is amazing i love everything in this.
I really hope you will get pass your writer's block so you will update this more often, because this story is worth every secound that i passed readying it
This story is amazing i love everything in this.
I really hope you will get pass your writer's block so you will update this more often, because this story is worth every secound that i passed readying it
2/18/2014 c1 Your Secret Admi
hay ho, I lyke dis stawree heart heart heart, homegurl
hay ho, I lyke dis stawree heart heart heart, homegurl
2/13/2014 c4 Annything
Next chapter now
Plot twist: She doesn't like chocolate and is just pretending to because she wants to bang Torrie as much as Torrie wants to bang her. If this isn't what happens after this then I dare you to change it so they do that.
God damn that was disappointing. GEEZ!
And, you know, being from a lesbian family CAN be different. Just like how a single father or mother make the family different. Like how they struggle to make ends meet and how it feels to know that you have no father/mother figure and how when you're in school the default family is mother-father-child and it just hurts every time. Not everyone though. Lots of people I know with a single mother either hate their father, don't know him, or desensitized by it because that's all they've ever known.
The love is like anny other family though so that'd be a more accurate of a statement. Unless the family doesn't love each other.
A more accurate statement is that everyone has a different family but they're still family. So, basically, family family.
/gets anngry PMs from people with other opinions
/FAHK YEW AYE AM PHILOSOPHICAL AND I SPELLED THAT RIGHT ON THE FIRST FUCKING TRY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm reading a story!
Wait, so if Torrie looks like she's in high school how could she get alcohol so easily? Oh, wait, so she IS in high school? That makes it kinda worse. And Sammy is being so blunt. She's all like, "aye wunt ur budeh."
And then Torrie is like, "meh tew!111!11!"
And Sammy is like, "No WAAAAAAaaaaaAAaaaAAAaAaAAAAaaAaaaaAaay!"
And then they have sex and you're going to write a scene about it. A SECKS SEEN.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :D
Next chapter now
Plot twist: She doesn't like chocolate and is just pretending to because she wants to bang Torrie as much as Torrie wants to bang her. If this isn't what happens after this then I dare you to change it so they do that.
God damn that was disappointing. GEEZ!
And, you know, being from a lesbian family CAN be different. Just like how a single father or mother make the family different. Like how they struggle to make ends meet and how it feels to know that you have no father/mother figure and how when you're in school the default family is mother-father-child and it just hurts every time. Not everyone though. Lots of people I know with a single mother either hate their father, don't know him, or desensitized by it because that's all they've ever known.
The love is like anny other family though so that'd be a more accurate of a statement. Unless the family doesn't love each other.
A more accurate statement is that everyone has a different family but they're still family. So, basically, family family.
/gets anngry PMs from people with other opinions
/FAHK YEW AYE AM PHILOSOPHICAL AND I SPELLED THAT RIGHT ON THE FIRST FUCKING TRY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm reading a story!
Wait, so if Torrie looks like she's in high school how could she get alcohol so easily? Oh, wait, so she IS in high school? That makes it kinda worse. And Sammy is being so blunt. She's all like, "aye wunt ur budeh."
And then Torrie is like, "meh tew!111!11!"
And Sammy is like, "No WAAAAAAaaaaaAAaaaAAAaAaAAAAaaAaaaaAaay!"
And then they have sex and you're going to write a scene about it. A SECKS SEEN.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :D
2/13/2014 c3 Annything
You don't even know the amount of shit that's coming back for this story. I remember it pretty good.
Oh my god, that thing about having a best friend with both the sisters happened to me when I was friends with this girl named Sarah and she had a younger sister named Ashley and Ashley fucking WANTED me. They were fighting all the time and 80% of the time it was over me. I dunno that's just a fun story.
Even before puberty she was a slut lolol. You made me laugh like a dropped object. GEEZ.
"inherited some features from his biological father-whoever the hell that was." Made me laugh.
"anyone try to kill themselves?" I laughed but it hurt a little.
"And abortion. Real life-saver." DIS SHIT ES FUNNEH
Aww, look at dose mothermomrelationships. I kind of and kind of not want a relationship like that. But I'd rather not have relationships with real people since they just get in the way of my family. Throughout the whole thing though it was confusing me with mom and mother. Like, I know it shouldn't and the difference is kinda clear but. Yeah.
I don't even know.
I actually could concentrate on this chapter so you get major points for that. :o
Next one now!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :D
You don't even know the amount of shit that's coming back for this story. I remember it pretty good.
Oh my god, that thing about having a best friend with both the sisters happened to me when I was friends with this girl named Sarah and she had a younger sister named Ashley and Ashley fucking WANTED me. They were fighting all the time and 80% of the time it was over me. I dunno that's just a fun story.
Even before puberty she was a slut lolol. You made me laugh like a dropped object. GEEZ.
"inherited some features from his biological father-whoever the hell that was." Made me laugh.
"anyone try to kill themselves?" I laughed but it hurt a little.
"And abortion. Real life-saver." DIS SHIT ES FUNNEH
Aww, look at dose mothermomrelationships. I kind of and kind of not want a relationship like that. But I'd rather not have relationships with real people since they just get in the way of my family. Throughout the whole thing though it was confusing me with mom and mother. Like, I know it shouldn't and the difference is kinda clear but. Yeah.
I don't even know.
I actually could concentrate on this chapter so you get major points for that. :o
Next one now!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :D
11/22/2013 c2 Annything
I'm in study hall being all bored and so I wanted to read the next chapter and omfg I like it so much. It made me smile and stuff which, if people were looking at me, would make me look so weird. But, really. I love the Butterfly references. It was just so awesome. I loved the last scene, specifically. The dialogue was so cool and it was so dopamine-y. Bee yew tea full. You should write more scenes like that. You write a lot so I'm not even going to ask you to upload more. You must come to terms with the fact that I am your sensei and you are my bitch. Meaning you are a writing slave that knows her place is at the computer making the equvilant of a sandwhich for me.
I'm in study hall being all bored and so I wanted to read the next chapter and omfg I like it so much. It made me smile and stuff which, if people were looking at me, would make me look so weird. But, really. I love the Butterfly references. It was just so awesome. I loved the last scene, specifically. The dialogue was so cool and it was so dopamine-y. Bee yew tea full. You should write more scenes like that. You write a lot so I'm not even going to ask you to upload more. You must come to terms with the fact that I am your sensei and you are my bitch. Meaning you are a writing slave that knows her place is at the computer making the equvilant of a sandwhich for me.
11/21/2013 c1 Annything
I've already read this chapter but I just read it again. I'm not sure how, but I remember this version being better than the draft I read forever ago. The voices really confuse me though. It's hard to tell if it's a real conversation or just her head.
But I love how you have your own universe with all of these different stories. [enter comparison to something funny] In comparison to Butterflies in the first draft I thought it wasn't as good as I know you could do but it's nice that you fixed that. c:
The opening sentence is awesome. You usually close chapters by when they fall asleep though. You should switch that up.
I've already read this chapter but I just read it again. I'm not sure how, but I remember this version being better than the draft I read forever ago. The voices really confuse me though. It's hard to tell if it's a real conversation or just her head.
But I love how you have your own universe with all of these different stories. [enter comparison to something funny] In comparison to Butterflies in the first draft I thought it wasn't as good as I know you could do but it's nice that you fixed that. c:
The opening sentence is awesome. You usually close chapters by when they fall asleep though. You should switch that up.
11/3/2013 c1 Taint.Revile.Elude
I actually really like this. There was some head-to-desk action when the girls were talking about their sexual exploits, because they were so glib about it, but maybe that's how young adults talk about sex, I don't know. I come from a different sort. All in all, however, I am very curious to see how you get Torrie and Sammy together, if Erick is male or female and if we every get to see him play around even more with gender, if May's band ever gets on TV. I mean, there's so much at stake already. ;-P
I actually really like this. There was some head-to-desk action when the girls were talking about their sexual exploits, because they were so glib about it, but maybe that's how young adults talk about sex, I don't know. I come from a different sort. All in all, however, I am very curious to see how you get Torrie and Sammy together, if Erick is male or female and if we every get to see him play around even more with gender, if May's band ever gets on TV. I mean, there's so much at stake already. ;-P