for Beloved of a King11/23/2013 c1 Wendy Thompson135th
Well, the editing needs work.
"You sent for me, your Majesty?" said Hélène , curtseying to the her lord. -Commas don't appear unsupported; this one is dangling alone and looking strange. 'The her' -pick one or the other. Edited, the sample looks like this: "You sent for me(COMMA HERE), your Majesty?" said Hélène, curtseying to her lord.
"I'll see you tonight. Same place." he whispered to her. -This is a dialogue tag sentence. The standard punctuation here is NEVER use a period immediately before the closing quotation marks. More correctly: "I'll see you tonight. Same place(COMMA)," he whispered to her.
'Which of you have I given a retinue that begrudges even my queen? Tell me ...' Check the dictionary definition of 'begrudge'. To make sense, the sentence might read something like this: 'To which of you have I given, ungrudgingly, the finer retinue?'
Always check the dictionary when you use an unfamiliar word.
Well, the editing needs work.
"You sent for me, your Majesty?" said Hélène , curtseying to the her lord. -Commas don't appear unsupported; this one is dangling alone and looking strange. 'The her' -pick one or the other. Edited, the sample looks like this: "You sent for me(COMMA HERE), your Majesty?" said Hélène, curtseying to her lord.
"I'll see you tonight. Same place." he whispered to her. -This is a dialogue tag sentence. The standard punctuation here is NEVER use a period immediately before the closing quotation marks. More correctly: "I'll see you tonight. Same place(COMMA)," he whispered to her.
'Which of you have I given a retinue that begrudges even my queen? Tell me ...' Check the dictionary definition of 'begrudge'. To make sense, the sentence might read something like this: 'To which of you have I given, ungrudgingly, the finer retinue?'
Always check the dictionary when you use an unfamiliar word.