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for First suicide

1/21/2014 c1 97rust phoenix
ouch. the ending is very powerful. the whole thing is, but the ending especially.
11/16/2013 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I really liked the storytelling techniques that you used here. The flow was crisp and abstract but there was a very clear mapping of time and emotion. I think the way you moved forward and back in time also worked well to form a complete picture of the emotions you were trying to tell.

My only real critique has to do with the tone of the piece. I actually feel that in some places its too morbid and doesn't match the rest of the voice structure in the piece. It was really a slight issue though. Overall great work!


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