for Rules To Break You4/14/2017 c4 
70BradytheJust
Yay Brook and Eryk are friends! :D
I liked the sword fight scene between them, although it was short I could visualize every movement, and I'm glad Eryk only wielded a stick of wood!
Also, I can just see the bird flock as they are being picked off.
"Hey guys, someone just shot a stick at one of us and our friend isn't getting up. Should we leave?"
"Nah, those strange creatures will go away"
"They just did it again! I think we need to leave..."
"We're fine... they'll stop" (speaker gets hit with an arrow)
"That's it we're flying south!"
Great job! :)
70BradytheJustYay Brook and Eryk are friends! :D
I liked the sword fight scene between them, although it was short I could visualize every movement, and I'm glad Eryk only wielded a stick of wood!
Also, I can just see the bird flock as they are being picked off.
"Hey guys, someone just shot a stick at one of us and our friend isn't getting up. Should we leave?"
"Nah, those strange creatures will go away"
"They just did it again! I think we need to leave..."
"We're fine... they'll stop" (speaker gets hit with an arrow)
"That's it we're flying south!"
Great job! :)
4/4/2017 c3 BradytheJust
Wow!
The rule with Benders not being able to heal themselves does make sense, although I do feel that rules are going to be broken sooner rather than later...
Myka, I can understand not trusting others.. but leaning on a man's broken arm! :O That's cruel, and I don't care what Eyrk says!
And describing Eyrk as a happy puppy just made me love him more! Puppies! :D
As always your word choice made the chapter a joy to read, and I admire how well you can mold your words to fit every universe you create!
Great job my friend!
Wow!
The rule with Benders not being able to heal themselves does make sense, although I do feel that rules are going to be broken sooner rather than later...
Myka, I can understand not trusting others.. but leaning on a man's broken arm! :O That's cruel, and I don't care what Eyrk says!
And describing Eyrk as a happy puppy just made me love him more! Puppies! :D
As always your word choice made the chapter a joy to read, and I admire how well you can mold your words to fit every universe you create!
Great job my friend!
3/17/2017 c2 BradytheJust
Okay...
Just when I feel like I've recovered from the first chapter I get chucked into the fire. You really start everything off epically!
Having fought wolves myself in various video games I can saw with certainty that no matter how powerful your group or castle is. A pack of wolves will tear you apart...
Anyway, I love the description of the encounter with the wolves and the description of Brook's power. (Is it bad I see him as an Obi-Wan Kenobi?) and his rescue by Eryk and Myka was very well done. I even breathed a sigh of relief!
I loved the confrontation between Myka and Eryk, and I see a bit of myself in Myka. Sometimes despite trying to do the right thing, sometimes the world makes you into something you aren't
And I caught a hint of Batman in the line "I'm not the Myka ou want, but I'll always be the one you need" Batman says "I'm not the hero my city needs, I'm the one it deserves" Just a bit of comic nerdiness from me!
Great job as usual and I can't wait for more!
Okay...
Just when I feel like I've recovered from the first chapter I get chucked into the fire. You really start everything off epically!
Having fought wolves myself in various video games I can saw with certainty that no matter how powerful your group or castle is. A pack of wolves will tear you apart...
Anyway, I love the description of the encounter with the wolves and the description of Brook's power. (Is it bad I see him as an Obi-Wan Kenobi?) and his rescue by Eryk and Myka was very well done. I even breathed a sigh of relief!
I loved the confrontation between Myka and Eryk, and I see a bit of myself in Myka. Sometimes despite trying to do the right thing, sometimes the world makes you into something you aren't
And I caught a hint of Batman in the line "I'm not the Myka ou want, but I'll always be the one you need" Batman says "I'm not the hero my city needs, I'm the one it deserves" Just a bit of comic nerdiness from me!
Great job as usual and I can't wait for more!
3/17/2017 c1 BradytheJust
Wow. Just Wow.
Well Eagles, I'm SO glad I waited for this story because I LOVE it.
It hooked me from the first line about hands. I'm a hand holder by nature and see it as an intimate thing to do. It seems these two characters feel the same way.
"Like pebbles in a steady stream bed" Oh gosh, perfect line alert! :D I love how you also gave us equal parts mystery and resolution. I know about Brook now, and I like how you withheld his name until the end!
I must read MORE! :D
Wow. Just Wow.
Well Eagles, I'm SO glad I waited for this story because I LOVE it.
It hooked me from the first line about hands. I'm a hand holder by nature and see it as an intimate thing to do. It seems these two characters feel the same way.
"Like pebbles in a steady stream bed" Oh gosh, perfect line alert! :D I love how you also gave us equal parts mystery and resolution. I know about Brook now, and I like how you withheld his name until the end!
I must read MORE! :D
9/18/2016 c28 Vivian Night
Loved it. I love the different magical traits that each of your characters possessed. This story was a nice little "peek" into the lives of the Bender, Freyl, Myka, and Eryk. I thoroughly enjoy the environment/world you've created where your stories take place. It's like any moment these characters could have a run-in with "The Lady" O.O
Loved it. I love the different magical traits that each of your characters possessed. This story was a nice little "peek" into the lives of the Bender, Freyl, Myka, and Eryk. I thoroughly enjoy the environment/world you've created where your stories take place. It's like any moment these characters could have a run-in with "The Lady" O.O
6/14/2015 c28 28TriploblasticSkies
The epilogue is nice. It's slightly different from your usual stuff... More like In the Corner...
Good though.
28TriploblasticSkiesThe epilogue is nice. It's slightly different from your usual stuff... More like In the Corner...
Good though.
5/31/2015 c28 5WaterBudget
Ha, I really like that last line. It suits Brook.
It makes me happy to think of them together, traveling the world. Brook has even come to accept the difference in their lifespans!
I'm not surprised that Freyl and Myka have become a legend.
All in all, this does tie up some loose ends.
5WaterBudgetHa, I really like that last line. It suits Brook.
It makes me happy to think of them together, traveling the world. Brook has even come to accept the difference in their lifespans!
I'm not surprised that Freyl and Myka have become a legend.
All in all, this does tie up some loose ends.
5/18/2015 c27 28TriploblasticSkies
Oh, this story's over. Wow.
And it's been 27 chapters long already? HAVE I BEEN DEAD?
Anyways, finally, at the end, I liked Eryk. Like, finally. Don't know why I suddenly remembered Kavel though. But this story was nice.
Different from most of the stories out there, sure, but it was good.
P.S. I know I don't have much to say, but this story was like that. It happened, and you could just read it without saying anything, and before one knows, it's over. I'd be really honest and say that I believe this one doesn't need a sequel or an epilogue, because some things are perfect just the way they are.
And good job! :D
28TriploblasticSkiesOh, this story's over. Wow.
And it's been 27 chapters long already? HAVE I BEEN DEAD?
Anyways, finally, at the end, I liked Eryk. Like, finally. Don't know why I suddenly remembered Kavel though. But this story was nice.
Different from most of the stories out there, sure, but it was good.
P.S. I know I don't have much to say, but this story was like that. It happened, and you could just read it without saying anything, and before one knows, it's over. I'd be really honest and say that I believe this one doesn't need a sequel or an epilogue, because some things are perfect just the way they are.
And good job! :D
5/15/2015 c27 5WaterBudget
Writing stuff:
"I'm doing the right else would be against the rules" - I sense you're avoiding the word "thing" but this sentence seems odd to me.
"sprinklif of notes" - sprinkling (nice description though)
Reaction stuff:
I literally went "kyaaa" (what an embarrassing fangirly sound) when Eryk asked him to take her with him! It made me realize how invested I was in Brook's struggle.
Yet, I feel that Eryk's feelings were overturned a tad too quickly. In the previous chapter, she was languishing over Myka and Freyl and now she's realized that Brook is the one who makes her happy? I know her speech explains the why, but the first thing she speaks of is leaving because of Myka and Freyl, not because of Brook. You become suspicious of her motives because she's been hurt so recently and because she's impulsive. Could it be that she's shy to admit her feelings for some reason?
Maybe another scene is needed to give her a moment where she is with Brook without thinking of Myka or Freyl at all, where Brook makes her happy enough to forget them. At that point, she realizes what Brook has done for her. That's what I would like to see, but it's optional of course.
The ending does work because I do believe that she's leaving with Brook to find her own happiness. In fact, I'm proud of her for doing so. Eryk was adorable here, and Brook had a heck of a time keeping her at bay. And I'm glad Myka and Freyl are fully supportive.
Aw, can't believe it's the end, but it was sweet. Since there's a sequel to this, might these two pop up again? I hope so because as Brook said, it feels like a beginning.
5WaterBudgetWriting stuff:
"I'm doing the right else would be against the rules" - I sense you're avoiding the word "thing" but this sentence seems odd to me.
"sprinklif of notes" - sprinkling (nice description though)
Reaction stuff:
I literally went "kyaaa" (what an embarrassing fangirly sound) when Eryk asked him to take her with him! It made me realize how invested I was in Brook's struggle.
Yet, I feel that Eryk's feelings were overturned a tad too quickly. In the previous chapter, she was languishing over Myka and Freyl and now she's realized that Brook is the one who makes her happy? I know her speech explains the why, but the first thing she speaks of is leaving because of Myka and Freyl, not because of Brook. You become suspicious of her motives because she's been hurt so recently and because she's impulsive. Could it be that she's shy to admit her feelings for some reason?
Maybe another scene is needed to give her a moment where she is with Brook without thinking of Myka or Freyl at all, where Brook makes her happy enough to forget them. At that point, she realizes what Brook has done for her. That's what I would like to see, but it's optional of course.
The ending does work because I do believe that she's leaving with Brook to find her own happiness. In fact, I'm proud of her for doing so. Eryk was adorable here, and Brook had a heck of a time keeping her at bay. And I'm glad Myka and Freyl are fully supportive.
Aw, can't believe it's the end, but it was sweet. Since there's a sequel to this, might these two pop up again? I hope so because as Brook said, it feels like a beginning.
5/2/2015 c26 WaterBudget
It's a pleasant surprise that all three of the others, not just Eryk, are intent on keeping Brook around. He doesn't even realize how important he is to them...
Glad you had a paragraph (and then some) with Brook's logic in not confessing at this point. Otherwise, I would have wanted to punch him. It's sad but it makes sense. Alas, the nature of Benders is fascinating but also tragic. (I still want Brook to stay with Eryk though.)
I wonder if Eryk will come to her senses and go after Brook if he does leave. And then, he doesn't have to take the first step "to break the rules" if Eryk does it first! Still, he would outlive her unless Eryk finds a way to become immortal. Hmm, I have to say I am stumped as to how this will resolve, which makes me even more excited for the last chapter!
One small matter: I'm not sure how I feel about Myka and Freyl not being sensitive to Eryk's feelings. Surely they would notice her distress? Maybe she just does too great a job of masking her hurt with happiness for them. But Myka, at least, must realize that his being lovey-dovey with Freyl hurts her...
It's a pleasant surprise that all three of the others, not just Eryk, are intent on keeping Brook around. He doesn't even realize how important he is to them...
Glad you had a paragraph (and then some) with Brook's logic in not confessing at this point. Otherwise, I would have wanted to punch him. It's sad but it makes sense. Alas, the nature of Benders is fascinating but also tragic. (I still want Brook to stay with Eryk though.)
I wonder if Eryk will come to her senses and go after Brook if he does leave. And then, he doesn't have to take the first step "to break the rules" if Eryk does it first! Still, he would outlive her unless Eryk finds a way to become immortal. Hmm, I have to say I am stumped as to how this will resolve, which makes me even more excited for the last chapter!
One small matter: I'm not sure how I feel about Myka and Freyl not being sensitive to Eryk's feelings. Surely they would notice her distress? Maybe she just does too great a job of masking her hurt with happiness for them. But Myka, at least, must realize that his being lovey-dovey with Freyl hurts her...
4/21/2015 c25 WaterBudget
Oh...well...I admit I saw this coming, but not the intensity of the scene.
Sure, Eryk is in pain now, but Brook is there to comfort her and help her move on. After all, what will she do now, after "losing" her betrothed and her most precious person? It wouldn't be healthy for her to continue to cling. Maybe Brook will show her the world beyond Myka and Freyl? That would be cute.
Ah, I can't believe I"ve reached the "end" of this. Overall impression so far:
Brook is cool. He's an observer who thinks a lot but frustrates me because he's only willing to worship from afar. He has some issues to work through, I suppose, but it might be easier to understand if we knew more about him.
Eryk/Myka/Freyl have one of the most convoluted and complex love triangles I've ever read.
This definitely lives up to the hurt/comfort tag, but I might have liked an outside event or two to give us a breather from all the emotions. (But you don't have to change a thing for one reader!)
There were twists that made me feel a rush of emotion or made me laugh, and it takes a great story to do that.
Oh...well...I admit I saw this coming, but not the intensity of the scene.
Sure, Eryk is in pain now, but Brook is there to comfort her and help her move on. After all, what will she do now, after "losing" her betrothed and her most precious person? It wouldn't be healthy for her to continue to cling. Maybe Brook will show her the world beyond Myka and Freyl? That would be cute.
Ah, I can't believe I"ve reached the "end" of this. Overall impression so far:
Brook is cool. He's an observer who thinks a lot but frustrates me because he's only willing to worship from afar. He has some issues to work through, I suppose, but it might be easier to understand if we knew more about him.
Eryk/Myka/Freyl have one of the most convoluted and complex love triangles I've ever read.
This definitely lives up to the hurt/comfort tag, but I might have liked an outside event or two to give us a breather from all the emotions. (But you don't have to change a thing for one reader!)
There were twists that made me feel a rush of emotion or made me laugh, and it takes a great story to do that.
4/21/2015 c24 WaterBudget
No romance is complete without looking deeply into each other's eyes (and I mean that half-seriously). I think it bodes well for Brook that Eryk is waxing poetic about his eyes.
Ugh, Brook is being dense. Of course, Eryk is upset by the way Myka and Freyl are perfect for each other. It's quite tragic...Though this pining from Eryk and Brook is getting tiresome. Sorry, they've been in this awkward tango for some time now. Spit it out, Brook! (Oh he was going to when Freyl popped up...)
On another note, I am curious about the person Brook lost. If it's important to the story, I want more info on his past stat.
And at last, we get to Freyl explaining why he ran off.
No romance is complete without looking deeply into each other's eyes (and I mean that half-seriously). I think it bodes well for Brook that Eryk is waxing poetic about his eyes.
Ugh, Brook is being dense. Of course, Eryk is upset by the way Myka and Freyl are perfect for each other. It's quite tragic...Though this pining from Eryk and Brook is getting tiresome. Sorry, they've been in this awkward tango for some time now. Spit it out, Brook! (Oh he was going to when Freyl popped up...)
On another note, I am curious about the person Brook lost. If it's important to the story, I want more info on his past stat.
And at last, we get to Freyl explaining why he ran off.
4/19/2015 c23 WaterBudget
"Someone, however, had words in plenty to spare...continuing to state the obvious in a desire to be part of the moment as well" - Something in this narration seems to be derisive towards Eryk. Whhyy? I just started liking this girl again. (Is it channeling annoyance from Brook?) Actually, I recently realized that I'm not too fond of so-called "genki girls", but Eryk was entertaining here, with her old energy. It suits her better than being sad.
The affection between Freyl and Myka couldn't be more obvious. Freyl is super smooth here, and then he does that double-take (too funny). Bad news for Eryk all around even if it hasn't been confirmed as mutually non-platonic. In a way, she's an outsider like Brook.
Anyway, I hope Myka finds the courage to tell Freyl what he needs to!
"Someone, however, had words in plenty to spare...continuing to state the obvious in a desire to be part of the moment as well" - Something in this narration seems to be derisive towards Eryk. Whhyy? I just started liking this girl again. (Is it channeling annoyance from Brook?) Actually, I recently realized that I'm not too fond of so-called "genki girls", but Eryk was entertaining here, with her old energy. It suits her better than being sad.
The affection between Freyl and Myka couldn't be more obvious. Freyl is super smooth here, and then he does that double-take (too funny). Bad news for Eryk all around even if it hasn't been confirmed as mutually non-platonic. In a way, she's an outsider like Brook.
Anyway, I hope Myka finds the courage to tell Freyl what he needs to!
4/19/2015 c22 WaterBudget
Brook is a person of contraindications, and I like it. He lacks confidence to tell Eryk how he feels, resorting to childish indirect questions to get her to feel something for him. Yet he performs such incredible Bending with generosity and poise. Makes him human despite his powers.
Hah, I don't believe for a moment that Brook will leave them to get into mischief. Seeing Myka healed is great though.
Brook is a person of contraindications, and I like it. He lacks confidence to tell Eryk how he feels, resorting to childish indirect questions to get her to feel something for him. Yet he performs such incredible Bending with generosity and poise. Makes him human despite his powers.
Hah, I don't believe for a moment that Brook will leave them to get into mischief. Seeing Myka healed is great though.
4/19/2015 c21 WaterBudget
I like that Eryk is confiding more in Brook. And awww, cuddles...
This was a very necessary chapter with exposition of the past, which is nicely spread throughout the conversation. Good on Myka for being straightforward with his feelings towards Eryk, and good on Eryk for going through with her duty. But I love that she is here now, wanting to ask Freyl if he's changed his mind about marriage. It takes a certain strength to do that.
I like that Eryk is confiding more in Brook. And awww, cuddles...
This was a very necessary chapter with exposition of the past, which is nicely spread throughout the conversation. Good on Myka for being straightforward with his feelings towards Eryk, and good on Eryk for going through with her duty. But I love that she is here now, wanting to ask Freyl if he's changed his mind about marriage. It takes a certain strength to do that.