for The Morning After1/11/2015 c1 Kay
It was adorable. Loved it.
It was adorable. Loved it.
7/4/2014 c1 Swati
I liked it,but not as much as the others and no,no technical stuff or anything, I really liked it and it also comes in my (mental) list of FP favourites :) it's just that in your works,I liked this the least.I'm a 13 year old Indian who has never talked to or had a real life couple below 20 as friends because dating here is not allowed so probably this factor influenced me in not liking this story as much : still!excellent job
I liked it,but not as much as the others and no,no technical stuff or anything, I really liked it and it also comes in my (mental) list of FP favourites :) it's just that in your works,I liked this the least.I'm a 13 year old Indian who has never talked to or had a real life couple below 20 as friends because dating here is not allowed so probably this factor influenced me in not liking this story as much : still!excellent job
2/16/2014 c1 Guest
Awesome!
Awesome!
12/16/2013 c1 
1faithless0408
I really liked this story, I'm always looking at how to write things like this without being unnecessarily explicit but realistic and you did it really well! I like your style, everything flowed and it had just enough of a mixture of realism and happily ever after; again, a difficult thing to achieve.
Very well written, good story.
1faithless0408I really liked this story, I'm always looking at how to write things like this without being unnecessarily explicit but realistic and you did it really well! I like your style, everything flowed and it had just enough of a mixture of realism and happily ever after; again, a difficult thing to achieve.
Very well written, good story.
12/14/2013 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
Hey :)
So, first wee mistake in the first paragraph "It's been..." when you're writing in past tense. It's nothing major, but yeah, a bit of tense mix up can just take the edge of a story. There was another wee slip up a bit further down the line aswell. However there was a portion where you used a change in tense well to depict feelings that still exist in her, from "The real problem with unrequited love..."
I really love the way you depicted the scene. There was nothing dramatic about the first half - instead it oozed with realism. Something that only good writing is capable of.
I'm actually writing this review as I read, and I noticed that you actually have slipped into present tense half way down, when the characters are having their bathroom discussion. It's not badly done, but it is awkward to read, seeing as I was used to the meter of past tense.
However, I still thoroughly enjoyed this and your narration style, and how the story evolved into being mainly dialog towards the end, but it remained grounded in reality :)
4HighOnBrokenWingsHey :)
So, first wee mistake in the first paragraph "It's been..." when you're writing in past tense. It's nothing major, but yeah, a bit of tense mix up can just take the edge of a story. There was another wee slip up a bit further down the line aswell. However there was a portion where you used a change in tense well to depict feelings that still exist in her, from "The real problem with unrequited love..."
I really love the way you depicted the scene. There was nothing dramatic about the first half - instead it oozed with realism. Something that only good writing is capable of.
I'm actually writing this review as I read, and I noticed that you actually have slipped into present tense half way down, when the characters are having their bathroom discussion. It's not badly done, but it is awkward to read, seeing as I was used to the meter of past tense.
However, I still thoroughly enjoyed this and your narration style, and how the story evolved into being mainly dialog towards the end, but it remained grounded in reality :)