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for An Undying Glimpse

7/3/2015 c1 64atalantea
I see that you have a penchant for combining two poems that accompany and highlight each other.

This poem is interesting. I feel like the ending needed more ooomph but how that would happen, I myself don't know.

Lines that made me go ouch were "I wanted her more, she needed less." And the stars and scars.

Keep writing. :)
6/22/2014 c1 182J.L.Rodriguez
First, great sound track. I can see it helped a lot with your write.

Now, this poem had much to say. Your thoughts and her responses really did give life to this piece and I was swept into your love and felt the ache as it, just as swiftly, dispersed and vanished like that falling star. Scarred, but at least you felt its majesty within your aura if but for a moment; love is not always meant to stay.

Lovely write, my friend, it truly took my breath away and this coming from one who has little experience with romance. I believe that your warmth did touch her cold deeply and though you two haven't conversed for some time, she will always remember it, as will you.
12/27/2013 c1 Jess
I loved this one! It's been so long since you've posted something that I'm thrilled to see that you have. Your poems seriously get better and better everytime I read them. This was amazing and I can tell spoken from experience. Great write! Like always
12/14/2013 c1 1blckmagehadokn1
I really like how you moved from stanza from the next, even though it goes from the main poem to like a side thing (I'm not sure how to explain it). As in, it doesn't feel interrupted when you go from one thought to the next. There was one line which sounded odd to me, so I read it aloud and it still sounded awkward. The fifth line, fourth stanza "though i she adored". I can't quite pinpoint what it is that sounds odd to me, but I think it's because the like that shares the end rhyme that comes after it seems like it was thought of first and that previous line is forced for it to rhyme. I may not be right, but that's what it looks like to me. Other than that, I really enjoyed it (even if I'm not THAT big of a fan of poem).
12/13/2013 c1 51Luna's Child
Wow, nice poem. I like the rhythm that flows nicely while reading it. :)

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