for The Aluvian Gene1/6/2014 c1 
4Jaydis24
Interesting intro, I liked how you didn't reveal too much and I want to read more. I like how you did it in under 300 words to. By the way I have a small fear of falling and this made me feel a small bit of fear. You are good at describing the feeling and I'm eager to figure out what "the change" is. What does the character turn into?
4Jaydis24Interesting intro, I liked how you didn't reveal too much and I want to read more. I like how you did it in under 300 words to. By the way I have a small fear of falling and this made me feel a small bit of fear. You are good at describing the feeling and I'm eager to figure out what "the change" is. What does the character turn into?
1/3/2014 c1 1JasmineRaven
This is actually a good start to a story. You've set it up nicely so we don't fully understand whats going on, which makes us want to read more. I also like the casualness of the story. You should definitely continue with this!
Well done! :)
1JasmineRavenThis is actually a good start to a story. You've set it up nicely so we don't fully understand whats going on, which makes us want to read more. I also like the casualness of the story. You should definitely continue with this!
Well done! :)