for Ordinary Day12/24/2020 c1 Sarah
I know this was published a few years ago, but to be honest - he raped her and left her. I just don't understand why she didn't slap a prison sentence onto him. Especially in the beginning of the story, he grabs her arm to stop her.
She was drunk when she had sex with him, she couldn't remember what had happened, and couldn't consent.
I think this is a very well written story, but romanticising rape is never a good thing. Just hope that helps you when you write more stories in the future.
I know this was published a few years ago, but to be honest - he raped her and left her. I just don't understand why she didn't slap a prison sentence onto him. Especially in the beginning of the story, he grabs her arm to stop her.
She was drunk when she had sex with him, she couldn't remember what had happened, and couldn't consent.
I think this is a very well written story, but romanticising rape is never a good thing. Just hope that helps you when you write more stories in the future.
8/16/2019 c1 Jorja
Wow ‿
Wow ‿
7/17/2017 c1 Guest
This is a great story and it's very well written. But I honestly think that what Dex did was unforgivable, and I think she made it too easy for him. One confession doesn't make up 5 years of pain, not by a long shot. Great job, though!
This is a great story and it's very well written. But I honestly think that what Dex did was unforgivable, and I think she made it too easy for him. One confession doesn't make up 5 years of pain, not by a long shot. Great job, though!
3/20/2017 c1 
1APassionForReadingAndWriting
Very sweet and interesting! New take to rekindling relationships. although I do wish her forgiving him took a little longer, with some scenes of him making it up to her. Otherwise, really great, non-cheesy fluff! Really funny dialogue bits here and there too: "going to university an hour away, not the moon"
Loved it. Thanks for posting :)
1APassionForReadingAndWritingVery sweet and interesting! New take to rekindling relationships. although I do wish her forgiving him took a little longer, with some scenes of him making it up to her. Otherwise, really great, non-cheesy fluff! Really funny dialogue bits here and there too: "going to university an hour away, not the moon"
Loved it. Thanks for posting :)
11/11/2014 c1 anna
Love it..
Love it..
10/8/2014 c1 13themerrybelletrist
Aw I really enjoyed this and I guffawed at some parts. That's always a good sign.
13themerrybelletristAw I really enjoyed this and I guffawed at some parts. That's always a good sign.
8/20/2014 c1 11SunnySideUp26
Wow that was really amazing how you were able to tell so much of their story in less than 4,000 words. I really enjoyed it.
11SunnySideUp26Wow that was really amazing how you were able to tell so much of their story in less than 4,000 words. I really enjoyed it.
7/4/2014 c1 Swati
A bit angsty but it was perf :3 I seriously love all your works and you're one of my fave writers on FP,and I have only one request:
PLEASE UPDATEEEEEE
A bit angsty but it was perf :3 I seriously love all your works and you're one of my fave writers on FP,and I have only one request:
PLEASE UPDATEEEEEE
5/24/2014 c1 Anon
This is one-shot is probably one of the most amusing ones I've read so far. And trust me, I've read a lot.
It's definitely a new take on the making-up one-shot that will always be a classic. What I found great about this though, is the fact that it was done without being overly cheesy or redundant. Most making-up one-shots honestly just makes me cringe at the fluffiness (fluff doesn't normally faze me, it's when it gets TOO fluffy that it becomes a problem). This one however did not. The characters were realistic and I found them endearing.
Good work on this one. Hope to read more of your work soon :D
This is one-shot is probably one of the most amusing ones I've read so far. And trust me, I've read a lot.
It's definitely a new take on the making-up one-shot that will always be a classic. What I found great about this though, is the fact that it was done without being overly cheesy or redundant. Most making-up one-shots honestly just makes me cringe at the fluffiness (fluff doesn't normally faze me, it's when it gets TOO fluffy that it becomes a problem). This one however did not. The characters were realistic and I found them endearing.
Good work on this one. Hope to read more of your work soon :D
3/8/2014 c1 ayushi
This is just how I like my romance stories. To the point and great ending. Loved reading this.
This is just how I like my romance stories. To the point and great ending. Loved reading this.
1/29/2014 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
Wow, that is one tall dude. I wish I could just run into guys that height. It does make me curious to know her height, although I'm glad you didn't mention it straight off the bat, because if she was the typical shorty I might have gotten cranky and not kept reading.
That line about the rhododendron bush was pure brilliance. Wouldn't that be uncomfortable? :P
The dynamics of their argument work perfectly: I feel as though I'm there. You have just the right balance of realism and good dialog to make for a very interesting read. I mean, when I'm in an argument I spurt something and then I shut up for half an hour: that isn't the kind of reaction that makes for good reading!
Another thing that I enjoyed about your writing was the fact that although this was a oneshot, it felt as though the characters had great big behind stories that we only get a glimpse at. Your characters feel well rounded, and through their dialog the readers have learnt that they've both grown up a lot. This feels like less of a typical FictionPress oneshot, and more like the turning scene in a full fledged story, which is absolutely fantastic!
I must say, I've never experienced a relationship where I was so in love with the person that I'd go back to be with them. For me, there's just never been the perfect synthesis of everything I need, and my relationships always feel half hollow. I think we're all looking for that one that clicks, the one that you never want to let go of. And I guess that sometimes you have to. People aren't perfect.
If someone walked away from me like that, I'd get shitty too! I like that reaction, it rings true to the real nature of Ray. People grow up, but there's only so much about yourself and your insecurities that you can change.
That was a fantastic ending! I like the realism to it, not too corny or fluffy, but with a happy ending. Great oneshot!
4HighOnBrokenWingsWow, that is one tall dude. I wish I could just run into guys that height. It does make me curious to know her height, although I'm glad you didn't mention it straight off the bat, because if she was the typical shorty I might have gotten cranky and not kept reading.
That line about the rhododendron bush was pure brilliance. Wouldn't that be uncomfortable? :P
The dynamics of their argument work perfectly: I feel as though I'm there. You have just the right balance of realism and good dialog to make for a very interesting read. I mean, when I'm in an argument I spurt something and then I shut up for half an hour: that isn't the kind of reaction that makes for good reading!
Another thing that I enjoyed about your writing was the fact that although this was a oneshot, it felt as though the characters had great big behind stories that we only get a glimpse at. Your characters feel well rounded, and through their dialog the readers have learnt that they've both grown up a lot. This feels like less of a typical FictionPress oneshot, and more like the turning scene in a full fledged story, which is absolutely fantastic!
I must say, I've never experienced a relationship where I was so in love with the person that I'd go back to be with them. For me, there's just never been the perfect synthesis of everything I need, and my relationships always feel half hollow. I think we're all looking for that one that clicks, the one that you never want to let go of. And I guess that sometimes you have to. People aren't perfect.
If someone walked away from me like that, I'd get shitty too! I like that reaction, it rings true to the real nature of Ray. People grow up, but there's only so much about yourself and your insecurities that you can change.
That was a fantastic ending! I like the realism to it, not too corny or fluffy, but with a happy ending. Great oneshot!
1/28/2014 c1 4stagepageandscreen
This was amazing. You gave us a full history for these characters in very few words and the emotional depth you gave them was excellent. I also liked the way that you revealed the story to us piece by piece, stretching out the suspense of what drove them apart. A very nicely written piece that I enjoyed greatly!
SPAS or Libz
4stagepageandscreenThis was amazing. You gave us a full history for these characters in very few words and the emotional depth you gave them was excellent. I also liked the way that you revealed the story to us piece by piece, stretching out the suspense of what drove them apart. A very nicely written piece that I enjoyed greatly!
SPAS or Libz