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8/10/2015 c1 70Bob Evans
This was a fantastic start in my opinion.

You were right in that it seems pretty busy. There's a lot going on, but I got a good feel for the personality and narrative of Jane's character, which made up the difference. Even if I'm not properly aware of all things in play-magic system, character relations, agendas-I can follow along well enough to stay invested.

That being said, it would be a shame if this is the end of the project. There's a lot here that begs follow-through. I realize life doesn't always work out that way. But the story is set up in such a way that necessary followup and exposition would gratefully beckon me to further understanding.

So if you can, please finish it up?

~Bob Evans
9/8/2014 c1 Guest
I am waiting since forever. Please update!
4/5/2014 c1 mischris
There is quite a lot going on in this chapter. It's a little difficult to follow, and certain vocabulary is presented without really defining what it is for the reader. Like the Court vs. The second court.

The Aether that you are creating here made more sense as the chapter progress as did the basic functions of it, but the significance seemed the be left unanswered. I know it's important and only certain people have access to it, but what does it mean for the world and how does it affect the tangible world?

Perhaps to separate things and focus in on them more, do a chapter before the party that gives a little more back ground info about the courts (like Mrs. Travert prepping Jane with redundant reminders on how to conduct herself at the party) as well as the significance of the Aether.

As for your questions:

I did notice the scars, but it seemed to be briefly mentioned with little emphasis.

The Aether that I imagine is kind of neutral colored (despite the fact that you described it has brilliant earlier on)

Hopefully this helps, though I understand that this is just the first chapter and everything I noted on maybe actually answered in later chapters.

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