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8/4/2014 c30 1Tosha Goff
That ending was just perfect. I can't even describe how much I loved this story, oh my goodness. I feel the relief that they're feeling, but I'm also sad that the story's over, if that makes sense.
8/1/2014 c7 FictionWriter12
Well, that was quite a plot twist- a good one, not bad.
I really enjoyed seeing Diana discover more of her power. It was cool to see her dream unfold again in reality. I also liked the amount of detail you included in this chapter, it gives a lot of depth to the characters and made me feel like I was standing there looking into a character's eyes.
There were only a few small errors in this- "I like to people watch..." I think it may sound a bit better if it had a - in it, like "I like to people-watch..." It may have also been a bit of a fast typing and editing mistake. Also- "It's clear on his face. He'd never betray Joel." I may just be reading that wrong, but I think there's an error around there somewhere. The last one was the last sentence, which used a comma instead of a period.
Can't wait to read the next chapter!
7/23/2014 c3 1TheNetherworldChronicles
I'm really liking this story so far the humor is great.
7/23/2014 c2 TheNetherworldChronicles
When I started reading the chapters and you introduced the names of your characters, I thought to myself: how fitting that your protagonist should be named Diana after the goddess of the hunt and one of the goddesses of the moon (being that she barely sleeps.). Then I thought to myself, nope I'm just reading into things too much, but then you introduced the prophesy and I thought to myself, ' I see what you did there.' :-D
7/23/2014 c1 TheNetherworldChronicles
I'm so glad we were paired up! the start of this story is exposition is spot on, and I like how you turned the simple act of smoking a cigarette a nice way to monologue. Props to you.
7/18/2014 c5 7Sleepiest Writer
Well this is quite interesting story. I find Diana slips between being likable and not a lot. The snide remarks get a bit grating.

However, I like the mix of realism and fantasy/supernatural. It gives a really good feel to it. There are some cliches I would have rather avoided myself, but nothing story-breaking.

You're really good at building at building suspense and that I liked, but things feel a little rushed. Overall though, you've introduced a lot of cool characters so far and I look forward to reading more.
7/13/2014 c23 1Tosha Goff
Okay, first of all, this story is freaking epic. I love the story line in this and the characters are awesome. I can't bring myself to pick a favorite I love them all so much. The plot is amazing and the action scenes are epic. I couldn't find anything wrong with the story aside from one typo, but that's about it. I'm really excited to see what happens next with them!
7/13/2014 c23 3Megan Ariano
Oh I do hope he has indeed come back.
And I like her grandma, she's cool (and creepy 'cause she kept on answering Diana's questions with that book she wrote years ago haha)
Great update. :)
7/7/2014 c21 Megan Ariano
Hey you updated. Great chapter. Can't wait to read what's in that book. Gotta say, I love Diana's attitude. She's not some damsel in distress waiting for other ppl to do things for her. Keep writing :)
7/7/2014 c1 1Bennito
Wow, this is already pretty good! I adore the writing style and the way you use commas. The first few paragraphs give the character a good 3D personality, so, great job so far!
6/30/2014 c4 JaveHarron
Okay, think I've gotten into the story. I have to say, I'm largely enjoying it. The narrator's pretty amusing, and I like Joel. As far as other issues go, some more creative description for scenery and people can improve it, but it might just be the effects of binging on Clark Ashton Smith lately.
6/30/2014 c20 Daefroht
Wow. I am at a loss for words. This could seriously be published into a great book. I love how you manage the first-person view without any awkwardness, it's quite rare. Your writing style is descriptive and interesting and the reader can't help but fall in love with all the characters (ok, let's exempt demons and evil worshippers). I can't wait for the next chapter.
6/27/2014 c20 3Megan Ariano
Oh no. No more chapters. :(
Be waiting for an update. I have to know what happens next. Hope they can fix markus soon though, i miss the old him too. Lol.
6/27/2014 c12 Megan Ariano
I'm going through this like i would a published book - every free time i get. Love your story. Pretty much makes me wanna go on break all the time now lol
6/26/2014 c19 2lilymarie96
Dang im loving how fast you're updating! Please keep it up, but oh, on the other hand I don't want this story to end! Great chapter, I really hope they can fix Markus soon. Also, how were they able to get into his head if he was in the protection of the firehouse? I'd maybe think about involving something in the witchcraft that links only directly to him so they can bypass the protection spell, like a few hairs or maybe even something really creepy like baby teeth his mother has saved. Looking forward to the next update!
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