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6/26/2014 c9 3Megan Ariano
Oh that ending was just sad. :(
Story's great tho. Love the fight scenes. :)
6/25/2014 c6 Megan Ariano
Aha. So here're all the descriptions i was looking for. Lol. Well i cant disagree with your timing. It was perfect. Will keep reading. :)
6/23/2014 c2 Megan Ariano
Great story so far. :)
I just wished there was more describing what Diana and Patrick looked like but i guess with diana it'd be hard since it's in 1st person's pov. I'll read more later cause lunch break's over. Lol.
6/23/2014 c18 2lilymarie96
Yay I am sooo happy this chapter ended on a good note. You've made that little boy Jackson so sweet and loveable in such a short span of time. Also I like that Diana is getting better at her skills, and that you mananged to mention her grandmother again because I'd almost forgotten about her. Really nice work with using "Shenandoah" as a song, I've learned how to sing a choral version of it and it really is a song that can be haunting even though it is beautiful :) Great chapter, I really enjoyed it!
6/23/2014 c1 4TheMidnightCr3w
Sorry for it being so late before starting the reviews, was busy this week. Anyways, good chapter, I liked how descriptive it was and how you organized everything. I don't have very much to say though, but it was a good chapter.
6/18/2014 c16 2lilymarie96
I'm sorry, I forgot to review this chapter since I'd looked it over! What I meant to comment about this chapter was that I am now very curious about the tattoo that the sisters got together, if they did go through with it. Also, Diana has some serious guts, and I really love the strong character you've developed her into. Also great imagery when you are comparing and contrasting Markus and his brother, I could clearly picture in my minds eye what the two of them looked like, it also gave us readers a large amount of insight but in a subtle way which was great to see. I really am anxious to see what happens to poor Diana! Please update soon! And I'd always love to help and do a little beta reading if you'd ever like :)
6/15/2014 c15 lilymarie96
Oh man, I was not expecting this kind of turn! This story has been marvolous and I really hope you update it soon. I will be waiting to read! You've earned my favorite and much more. I really have fallen in love with this story and cant wait to see where you go with it :)
6/14/2014 c12 lilymarie96
Your idea of an upset ghost reverting to the time of death thing is very unique and just an amazing thought, and you described Frank's very well! Also, I loved Diana's reactions to her prophesies. It kept the chapter from being too somber, and definitely showcased her character!
6/14/2014 c11 lilymarie96
Damn, this was very sad and I wasnt expecting that! Will and the soulless concept has been written out very well, and I'm hoping that somehow being a Seer will be able to cure him! Great chapter- you seem to have all your characters and their reactions to things down to a tee, all of them are very unique and I applaud you for that! And I'm glad Diana is moving in with them. I am also happy this story isn't an in-your-face romance kind of thing but explores the strong familial bonds between people- I almost prefer that to sappy romance, haha! That aspect is done wonderfully, but I can't help but wonder if Diana is going to get with anyone a little later? I guess I'll just have to see :)
6/14/2014 c9 lilymarie96
Oh wow, I was not expecting someone to have been in the hospital like that! Nice job connecting this concept with what was explained very early on with the 'knocking a soul out of a body' kind of thing. Great description of what he was like as well, I especially liked that you made him sort of blend in with the room and compared him to inanimate objects. Some typos i spotted were: "son-bitch" toward the beginning of the chapter: " I'm going to assume you meant to say "son-of-a-bitch", and I might even recommend since he has an accent to spell it "sonovabitch".
And another was "and then drug me to social services." I think you mean 'dragged', unless this is just the way he is supposed to speak, haha. Nice chapter! I'm really loving this story, I'm glad its a long one!
6/13/2014 c8 lilymarie96
Ooo, excited for these character's backstories! I am really liking Patrick...I hope the vibes that he and Diana might get together aren't just in my own head, haha! I like the pros and cons of powers they have like telegraphing, instead of having an all-good all-the-time kind of thing that more inexperineced writers ten to do. One thing I noticed was the use of "Y'all", im not sure if all of them were from Joel which would make sense, but it just seems like there has been a little bit of a sudden inglux regarding that word, which is a little out of place since it hasn't been as regular in previous chapters. Great job though, I'm excited for these next chapters!
6/13/2014 c7 lilymarie96
I really like the way you describe your characters, Tony has officially won my heart haha! So cute that he is watching over her to make sure she is safe. And your described these two creepy kids very well too!
A few things I spotted: " 'You little,' Melaina turns on me, but Joel blasts her from behind. She falls forward, splayed across the floor." This should probably be written as "You little-" and when you say "blasts" I'm not quite sure if you're describing the force-feild thing, but you might want to be a little more detailed so the reader can invision it a little better. And such an interesting character insight with Markus and his family! I loved the twist! Another great chapter, you did the action scene quite well too.
6/12/2014 c6 lilymarie96
I love how you are progressing Diana and these people's relationships, it is written very naturally and in my opinion pretty skillfully as well I found it funny that Markus had never heard of the Xmen. Also, I am glad that you had Diana genuinely freaking out about the power thing, often times people are much too calm about it, I think! It was funny and realisitc and good writing. Once again, I don't have many complaints about this chapter! I like that you also slip in informatiok but not in an overwhelming way, such as explaining that most of the children working with demons only begin "getting into the feild" at a certain age, the information about knives and Markus (who Tony had said had been knocked far worse before). These characters are developing very well! Excited to see where the plot you've set up is going!
6/11/2014 c5 lilymarie96
I really love that although you've said these people aren't related, you've had them fall into family roles like father, mother, grumpy teenage son (Markus) and older son (Patrick). I can't explain why I like Markus so much. I think people don't like to use the moody teenager trope too often because they think it will cause dislike of the character, but I like him. I can't really pinpoint why, sorry! I also love the description of the house, its like i can see it in my minds eye (so awesome job!) the lamp scene was very beautifully written and i love the relation to energy, it reminded me of how a potato can light a bulb when plugged in right. I have no complaints whatsoever about this chapter! Your flow and pacing are good..this story just keeps getting better :)
6/10/2014 c4 lilymarie96
The concepts you've created are all very interesting, such as one Seer being able to kind of activate if you will another Seer, the radar that activation gives off, and your descriptions of demons are quite good. I also really like your descriptions of people; Joel was VERY easy to picture in my minds eye, which is great. So is Maragaret and the teenager who lives with them, I forgot his name but it started with an M (sorry!) I really liked that Diana is just getting more and more tangled in this strange world from her very mundane one, and I have a feeling its going to be a very fun journey as she begins to discover all of her potential as a seer. I'll review more tomorrow but I just wanted to say I'm really liking what I see so far, this story has loveable characters and has definitely captured my interest so far. Great job! :)
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