6/14/2020 c28 anna
Poor, poor Tori :( Last chapter was hard to read, a dark part of me wanted Tori to soften towards Anton but the way he took her is unforgivable. Wonder how Bianca/Dante will react to this? Please continue this amazing story, I've been searching new reads during quarantine and am lucky i found this. I keep rereading chapters and trying to imagine what will happen. Please don't keep us waiting too long xx

5/29/2020 c28 Please post soon
Constantly keep checking to see if you've updated, for the sake of my sanity please post soon :P I don't want to rush you but you've done an incredible job in creating this world and I need my fix! I wish I started this story when you'd finished then I wouldn't have that horrid wait between chapters. There are a few aspects I'm really curious about;

-Firstly what happened to the dukes previous Varefilles? Did they meet a horrible end or were they sold off?

- What was the duke doing from his five years away from Anhelina? I really can't envision him in the modern world amongst humans. I can totally imagine him huffing in disgust upon hearing some rock music LMAO

- Overall, humans seem to be treated quite terribly in this world. I recall reading that some vampires took human children from abused homes and treated like their adopted child. What happened to them when they grew up in this world? Are they protected or discarded?

- The biggest thing I dont understand is if the humanists know the locations of the colonies and have access to the outside world, why dont they just get the human goverments/secret services involved to eradicate the vampires? In this day and age we have have all sorts of weapons that could do huge damage to them. All they would have to do is perhaps get a secret camera and show footage of vampires, get evidence of the missing people and get the dna of a dead vampire to prove the existence. Even if the governments don't believe them, the media fallout would be big enough to cause trouble for the vampires.

5/14/2020 c28 4B.CNIL OPUS
First, let me start this review with I enjoy your writing style and still find this plot to be absolutely remarkable and envious that I had not thought of this concept. I understand how hard it was to write a sexual assault scene especially when you have been so immerse into the character that you written. It’s really a hard scene to write as much for us to read.
With that being said, I do have a few things to address with all the respect that’s due. My constructive criticism is not to be taken as hate. These were just the few issues that I feel could have been brought up in the narrative or done differently. I don’t know if you’re going to be bring them up in the upcoming chapters or not. I’m going to apologize for jumping the gun if you were.

My first issue is Victoria’s “Savior Complex” this was honestly the one issue I had with her that slowly turn into a dislike for her especially with the treatment of Bianca and Leotie. I felt she really didn’t have a strong understanding about the human population that are native to the island from the humans (like herself) that are brought to the island. She’s intruding herself into matters she has no understanding or comprehension of the politics and culture. Especially, when she cannot help her own situation—in all the correct words she’s a blood slave to the leader/colonizer of the island. Her presence in the human area endanger them more than helped them. Her ideas is based on no real world experience or understanding the nuances of society—honestly, the vampire society is no different from the human society she was kidnapped from so her moral ground/ideas are at best childish and comes from a position of privilege.

My second issue was her treatment towards Bianca and Leotie. I felt an annoyance tick of the eye whenever Victoria’s opinion/actions toward these women were mention. Once again her moral stance comes off very privilege when she’s the ignorant one out of the three. Although, she felt that she and Bianca were friends they honestly weren’t due to the power dynamics of their relationship. I think she really doesn’t understand the status of her position compare to Bianca position. The perfect example was when Bianca finally yelled at her (rightfully so) for intruding into what she feels is her personal business when concerning her family. Causing the guard to hit her for yelling at Victoria. Whenever she mention about escaping with Bianca and Rachel I kept thinking do Bianca even wants to escape? Never once did she tried to pry on the subject about Bianca wanting to escape to see about her thoughts on the matter. She was making a decision for a person without even asking their opinion on the matter. It just comes off as a hypocrite since she herself is in the same position. I was very happy when Bianca check her on that—it just feel disingenuous on Victoria’s part. Bianca had made valid points about if their escape was possible Bianca will be a fish-out-of-water she has never experience the world outside of the island. What about her family, despite the fact there is dysfunction I don’t think she would have wanted to leave them to this mess. What if Anton want against them thinking they had apart in the escape? Like the disregard for someone she calls a friend is so laughable.
Then there is her relationship with Leotie. Okay, so being a Woman of Color, I sympathize and related with Leotie more than Victoria. Once again Victoria’s moral ground simply shows her privilege again due to her failing to see from the other person prospective. Being an indigenous woman Leotie has a superior understanding about the dynamics of the human/vampire society of the island—it reflects her real life experience in the modern human society that both Victoria and her came from so even in that respect Victoria was problematic. Her situation was a nuance in itself she was kidnap from a society where she was a minority facing the same hardship as the humans on the island. Only to be a part of a group, although a minority, is better off than the humans that are in the quarters and who are indigenous to the island. Her trying to bestow knowledge to Victoria and let her see the reality of her situation—to only have her to dismiss Leotie claims as frivolous. That scene with their last interaction not once did Victoria try to have a unbiased stance and listen—even if she wasn’t going to follow it, she could at least listen. I hope Leotie doesn’t try to be friends with her at all cause Victoria might actually get her killed or put in a horrible situation. By far she was one of the characters that I really related to.

My third issue, her relationship with Dante. I feel as though Dante is just as worst or way worst than Anton. He has a hand in the research, kidnapping, cover-up, detaining, and selling of these people. Those actions in its self says villain. Just because hes nice to one human girl and patch Victoria up after a feeding from Anton will never excuse that. The point for me that made me side-eye Dante and really had me question Victoria’s sense of judgement/whether or not she was a fool. It was the chapter when he showed her the information about her family along with the video recording of the news about her parents speaking about her disappearance and the police detaining her boyfriend now ex. Him keeping an up-to-date portfolio on her still—which left me with more questions as to why? And why she never question him? I cannot understand how she could find comfort in the arms of a man who legit had a hand of destroying her life and her love one’s life. Lucian confirming that Dante was a horrible person sealed it for me even though I wished that we had a scene of Victoria going to the library and discovering about the secret police that Dante was a leader of—instead of it being told to us. As the readers we would’ve felt the emotional trauma she went through when she learn that he was the leader of it. I cannot understand how she can compartmentalize Dante’s behavior but cannot do the same with Anton who very presence in the story is very brief.
Dante has been abusive, he has slap her when she tried to escape the detention camp, participated in her torture there and yet when it comes to the Duke he somehow is far worst, something I do not understand.
To be quite honest, Dante is the reason why Victoria is the slave to Anton; he has tasted her blood so he had to give Anton a sample of it and let's not forget he's also Anton’s right hand man.
I don't understand how she can ignore these facts about this man and not feel the same way she does with Anton.

My last issue is her relationship with Anton and the perception of him—which is a lot to unpack, especially with this chapter. The buildup for him becoming “unhinged” and this moment between them—it comes off to shock us. His behavior so far has been logically sound from what we as the readers see of him—he really doesn’t have a strong presence in this narrative. Because the scene between Victoria and him are so few in between and we see more of her with other characters than him. Just because the characters are saying his going mad makes absolutely no sense when the evidence shows us his not. I can back this claim with the first incident with the dueling at the ball. The boy attacked Victoria who is the varefille of the leader of the island and tried to drink her blood—from which in the text is a big no-no in vampire society. He had to make an example of him—don’t see how that makes him go mad. The incident with his mistress—once again he told her not to speak with Victoria and she choose to make a scene in front of everyone believing that he wouldn’t act in front of everyone. Still he had a valid reason in that incident—especially since she was aware of what happen at the ball. The accusation that he is not paying attention to what is going on—on the island I stopped reading and thought that cannot be true. I believe he’s been gone from the island for three years so there is backlogs that were mention, he has had open court, he has hosted a meeting with the High Council and spoke about the threat of the Humanist (which the council laughed off), and took proactive precaution with guards, searches, and everything else that was needed of him. When he cancel the meeting with the High Council I didn’t see anything wrong…I mean did they not show up to the meeting he called for to the point that each member had their colony on lockdown? Even when he was getting his portrait done and didn’t have court I still didn’t see a reason. I didn’t see him relax in his duty—so when the accusation was thrown I was completely thrown off by that. Even with the older Duke whom he sees as a father we as the reader have not seen—having to deal with the disservice of a character telling us instead of us readers to see it.
Now the attraction/relationship with Victoria—I honestly don’t see how there is one when she doesn’t spend enough time with him in the narrative. I don’t see how she’s different from his other varefille when their whole interaction she’s totally afraid of him and finds every option to be far away from him. The only thing that I can come up with is her blood must be delicious and that’s really not enough. I won’t disregard that subtle you can see him being attentive but its subtle that once his gone from the scene it totally slips the mind. I thought when she didn’t run from him during their second interaction I felt that we would get to know about Anton. There wasn’t a follow up to that establishment because we never really had a chapter with only them and not everyone else. I mean Anton is a complete mystery—she doesn’t try to get to know him like she does with Dante. We see him in this one light and from what others describe of him but we don’t see how his character can turn into this deep possessive man. What is about her that makes him give up everything that he was brought up with? Even with the scene where he believes she’s sleeping with someone and allowing them to drink her blood. I’m excusing his horrible behavior towards her—she doesn’t spend any time with him and if she is a spy for the humanist she makes a horrible one. There could be chapters of her using to spend time with him to spy. We would see them establishing a relationship especially with her prying into his life to see for any weakness. If we had those scenes I wouldn’t feel like this chapter was for shock value—it would be a very bitter sweetness and show his fall of derangement.
These were some of my issues I hope this doesn’t come off as an attack it was just concerns I had that was really bothering me. I still will support this story because I actually do enjoy and very envious of this concept.

4/21/2020 c28 Spazthemagicbeanstalk
This was really well written, you did a great job portraying Tori's terror and subsequent trauma, along with the Duke's mental break without being unnecessarily graphic for such a scene. I look forward to seeing how this will affect the plans in motion.

Also is it just me or does Janus sound like a vampire? But is he a vampire who believes in the movement like Lucian, or someone manipulating the movement with the intent to sabotage them?

4/21/2020 c28 me
whoa dude.
this story is awesome, you're an amazing writer. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. You can really feel with this character, i'm in fucking awe.

4/12/2020 c26 Wow
Been looking for some good stories to get into during quarantine and found this goldmine. Please, please, pretty please continue this story. So many times I have spent rereading certain parts and trying to envision what happens next. Don't leave us hanging!

3/15/2020 c26 Guest
Please write more! I've been reading this for months and I love your story!