
5/8/2014 c3 EverlastingBlueSkyXD
Nice to see you back. This story is really interesting! I think it's a bit late for me to say this, but I feel your story should've been written in the present tense. Not asking you to change it now; frankly, it doesn't matter THAT much to me. Another thing is when you're changing perspectives. Sometimes it's a bit hard to follow along. Just a personal opinion, but I think it'd be better if you didn't use first person during the change. I think it'd make the reading easier for me. Overall though, your story is quite engaging, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
Nice to see you back. This story is really interesting! I think it's a bit late for me to say this, but I feel your story should've been written in the present tense. Not asking you to change it now; frankly, it doesn't matter THAT much to me. Another thing is when you're changing perspectives. Sometimes it's a bit hard to follow along. Just a personal opinion, but I think it'd be better if you didn't use first person during the change. I think it'd make the reading easier for me. Overall though, your story is quite engaging, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
4/22/2014 c2 EverlastingBlueSkyXD
Very interesting. Can't wait to read more! Just a correction: it's "intact", not "in tacked".
Very interesting. Can't wait to read more! Just a correction: it's "intact", not "in tacked".