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for Ignis

7/26/2014 c1 12 Turtles
I haven't read the other chapter but this one is very good! I really like the character descriptions. I really like Melissa already.
6/12/2014 c14 IvyWallflower
Yes yes EWWWW! But GREAT STORY! Love it! And the girl with the pineapple hair and the see through leggings - who is now sporting a rather retro baseball hat - is bopping along with me to the beat of YOUR AWESOMENESS!
You got it, you know what's coming...
6/4/2014 c2 1Everfew
I corrected the last six lines of this chapter (the A/N does not count), so you can see your mistakes and avoid them:

(I put every mistake between slash bars. If there is this '/*/', it means you have to take off a space there. Mostly I corrected your use of capitals and punctuation.)

"Lumina?" /v/entured Melissa cautiously/./ "/*/Y/ou okay?"

There was no reply. Melissa went down and sat next to her. She went to put her arm around Lumina, but stopped, frightened that she would hurt her.

"/*/Are you alright/,/ Lumi?" /a/sked Melissa gently/./

"/*/Y/eah, fine" replied Lumina. Her voice sounded brittle, like it was ready to break.

"/*/No you're not/,/" /i/nsisted Melissa/./ "/*/L/ook/,/ /i/f you ever want to- talk about.../(add space here)/anything, you know you can trust me, right?"

Lumina took a deep breath to steady herself. "/*/Melissa/,/ I-"
6/1/2014 c1 Everfew
Nice story, but sometimes you add a space at the beginning of a dialogue, between the dialogue mark and the first word of a sentence. There should be a space there.

So, this is what it shouldn't look like:

" Hello."

This is what is should look like:


And sometimes you forget to add a capital letter at the beginning of a sentece in a dialogue.

And now that I've finished the chapter, I'm wondering who Lumina is.
5/30/2014 c13 8MetricRainbowZebra
Nooooo Melissa you shouldn't do thaaaat! Great chapter I can't wait for the next one!
5/24/2014 c12 MetricRainbowZebra
Oh my god nooo cliffy and they are being such major badasses it's awesome!
5/20/2014 c11 MetricRainbowZebra
Nuuuu Myeeeh nuuu * other noises of shock * Luminaaaaaa noooo and Raph too and thehjekekdu! Luminaaaaaa your dad is a JERK! *deep breaths* I enjoyed this chapter and cannot wait for the next one...
5/20/2014 c10 MetricRainbowZebra
*silently fangirls every time Raphael and Melissa speak to each other*
Oh god I'm already shipping them...anyway great chapter
5/13/2014 c9 MetricRainbowZebra
Middle name buddy! And with the mats I just imagine the episode of fairly odd parents when you saw lab and he kept forgetting to put the mats under his little chute.
5/10/2014 c8 MetricRainbowZebra
Cliffhanger nooooooo! It was a very good chapter though and I REALLY cant wait to read the next one.
5/9/2014 c7 9Dragonsrule22
Great story!
5/9/2014 c7 8MetricRainbowZebra
Oh my god that's adorable Raphael and Melissa! I can't wait for the next chapter. :)
5/9/2014 c6 MetricRainbowZebra
I love how the story's going the whole science thing is soooooo cool!
4/28/2014 c5 MetricRainbowZebra
ok so i have a theory. they're Fire Wizard fairies and Lumina is they're princess and she doesnt like her dad because he wants her to marry some old guy and Melissa is going to be like some great prophet and save all the people from the water monsters from her dream in the first chapter...no...ok...this was a good chapter i liked it alot and Lumina is awesome.
4/27/2014 c4 MetricRainbowZebra
Was that Latin? And I give Melissa props because I would have fainted in confusion by now. I loved this chapter the story's really starting to move along.
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