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for Anno Metere

7/7/2014 c10 1FueledByPepsiMax
Wow this chapter was tense and a little confusing at first as I wasn't sire is it was really a dream or not. It's interesting to know what goes on inside the head of someone who has a projector in there too. :)
Overall I think this story is really well written and you have an original and unique idea that you put across well. One thing you need to watch out for is a few grammar mistakes throughout the whole story, maybe try reading through it again?
Other than that though I really really enjoyed this! :D
7/7/2014 c9 FueledByPepsiMax
Awww, this chapter made me sad :( Why can't they visit Darren and Leo's house anymore? And I wonder why thr Dad chased them :S But it was good to know a little more about Darren and Leo too.
I keep wondering what they might use the voodoo dolls for, seems really interesting :)
7/7/2014 c8 FueledByPepsiMax
I liked this chapter too! I learned a lot more about Gabe's past which helped me picture what his childhood must have been like. He seems like such an awesome guy but his past makes me sad :(
I really had no bother picturing the house and the whole thing with the voodoo dolls freaked me out and kinda tensed up the moment!
Keep it up! :D
7/7/2014 c7 FueledByPepsiMax
I really enjoyed reading this and I love how you added a little backstory to Darren and Gabriel it really helped develop their characters and develop their relationship. I wish we could have seen what was going on inside the clients head during the ritual but I know it's set in Darren's POV so that's kinda hard to do.
Again, you describe everything perfectly and I can't wait to read more! Keep it up! :)
7/6/2014 c6 FueledByPepsiMax
Again, another brilliantly descripted chapter and I like how we get to see what kind of work the group gets up to. I also like how we finally got to see what Kara's character was like as I've been waiting to find out kore about her. It might be nice to find out a little backstory about the characters later on perhaps? But that's up to you as I really thibk the story is great!
I like how you've left this chapter on a sort of cliff hanger too which makes me eager to read the next bits! Keep it up! :)
7/6/2014 c5 FueledByPepsiMax
This chapter was really sweet! I'm glad we got to see the relationship between Darren and Leo and it's a believable one. They seem close but act just like brothers would do by being a bit rough with each other. I also liked how you included Darren's inner thoughts about Leo, that made me chuckle.
I was a little confused as to what Leo was so upset about but that could just be my brain becoming confused... :S There was a couple of grammar mistakes too so watch out but other than that I really enjoued reading :)
7/6/2014 c4 FueledByPepsiMax
Wow! This chapter was so gripping and brilliantly descriptive. I love how we find out a lot more about these Astral Projectors and what fears they all have, makes their characters a lot more believable. And I also like how this chapter is more like an inner story progression rather than an outside progression, if you get what I mean. Like, the story is progressing without anything new happening. You have a fabulous way of writing and your style is so perfect so it's really easy to understand what you're trying to say. Keep it up! :D
7/4/2014 c3 FueledByPepsiMax
I like this chapter as you've developed some of the characters we 'met' in the previous chapter. I really like their personalities, they're unique to each other yet still believable, well done :)

There's a few grammar mistakes like you've written "took my my wrist" and "my and Leo's" which should be "mine and leo's" but other than that it's very well written.

You have a great style of writing and I can't wait to read more, keep it up :D
7/4/2014 c2 FueledByPepsiMax
There is nothing really to criticise in this chapter. It's greatly written again and I love how you describe everything so perfectly so I really understand the imagery you're putting across. Darren is becoming more developed and I like how we find out the other members of the group he's working with.

Keep it up and I look forward to reading more :)
7/4/2014 c1 FueledByPepsiMax
This is really quite gripping and first and very well written. I like the concept you've got for your story and you describe the scenes very well. I'm a little confused as to who exactly the main character is but I'm sure I'll find that out in later chapters. Looking forward to reading more :)
6/30/2014 c8 3DeviouslyDifferent
Well that was unexpected. It's nice to get a bit more background on your characters and the relationship with one another but I find you've backed yourself into another plot problem. Why would Gabriel's mom offer her services to Leo? She's a witch and historically the church likes to get rid of witches so I feel like she would have kept the secret close to home. It's fine that she is a witch and that the four of them now know but if Leo and Darren's parents were so quick to throw Darren into the church why would try even be tempted by witchcraft? Wouldn't they just turn the witch in? And this just popped into my head whilst reading this chapter, how does Gabriel stay put during exorcisms? Or do you have a reason behind that?

All in all though I have thoroughly enjoyed your story thus far and shall continue reading more. I hope these reviews help you.
6/30/2014 c7 DeviouslyDifferent
Ah exorcism, the best way to start a day. That was interesting and I liked the way Gabriel and Darren met. Though if their society places no value on science and medicine I can't imagine they would be big on history. History has to many flaws for any church to want to explain it. I mean I get where you were going with the whole "projectors are evil! The killed the president" thing but it causes a pretty problematic hole in your world. Why would there still be need of a president if the church is the controlling force? This far it seems like the church holds all the power and controls everything in this world so wouldn't the pope be in control? Or a bishop?or some other holy person? The church probably wouldn't risk letting a non-believer run things. To likely the truth would come out. Also history, although we consider it under the arts, is directly linked to science. And science has no place in a holy world based around faith.
6/30/2014 c6 DeviouslyDifferent
I really like this story. Your characters are quite amusing and I love the little house wife whose worried about what the neighborhood thinks. I just have a couple little notes. Generally PTSD people don't like being in bed. Or sleeping for that matter. Perhaps having her mention that she slipped him sleeping pills or something since generally these people remember the horrors most vividly in their sleep which is what your characters are working off of. Also the perfect circle around the bed is mildly problematic as generally beds are pushed against the wall is yet pulled the bed away from the wall then it would work but it's really hard to make a circle with the bed in the way. Or they could just move him to the floor. If he's on sleeping pills he probably wouldn't wake anyways.
6/30/2014 c5 DeviouslyDifferent
Honestly I don't have much to complain about here. It's interesting, the characters are solid enough for chapter five, and your description of the world isn't lacking in any way. Honestly, I'm impressed with what you have so far. I'd like to see a little bit more of Kara and Gabrielle to form some sort of attachment to them since I'm guessing they'll play some sort of role but that's because I like to get to know characters before sh*t goes down. All in all only a few spelling errors. Well done
6/30/2014 c4 DeviouslyDifferent
I like your twist on the whole demons idea. That people make their own demons and that they're within their own mind. Very different from the usual case of the seven deadly sins. Though perhaps it's just that I'm mildly OCD but I'm not sure if a guy with lots of tattoos would hate OCD. No one likes bad tattoos right? The OCD artists are usuall better cause it leads to perfectionists. But perhaps I just don't know Gabrielle yet. Also making Leo's goal to be in college screams supernatural at me again but that's possibly because I'm already thinking of Dean. Sam is the next logical step, right? But thus far I like your characters and the world you're attempting to build.
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