
5/9/2014 c1
12ahorizonforthenewbirds
Wow, this poem is really well written.
The style of it is amazing. I think you used the line breaks and paragraph breaks to really make the theme stand out and it added to the intense emotion.
The imagery in this is really good, too; you used visuals of things that can draw on more emotions - birds, shadows, children, hills...
I don't really like the mention of mud, though; I feel like the rest of the poem verges on something more achingly dark whereas mud is bland and dull.
Also, the title and use of the hyphen for in-between threw me off at first. I think it would be better without the hyphen as two separate words.
Overall though the poem is really good - it's powerful and it's dark and the imagery really adds to the emotion. Good job :)

Wow, this poem is really well written.
The style of it is amazing. I think you used the line breaks and paragraph breaks to really make the theme stand out and it added to the intense emotion.
The imagery in this is really good, too; you used visuals of things that can draw on more emotions - birds, shadows, children, hills...
I don't really like the mention of mud, though; I feel like the rest of the poem verges on something more achingly dark whereas mud is bland and dull.
Also, the title and use of the hyphen for in-between threw me off at first. I think it would be better without the hyphen as two separate words.
Overall though the poem is really good - it's powerful and it's dark and the imagery really adds to the emotion. Good job :)