for Demons6/1/2014 c1 
1Everfew
Seems interesting, though I don't understand much when it comes to the concept, yet.
Be careful with the dialogues. You tend to write:
"Hello" I say.
When it should be like this:
"Hello," I say.
There's supposed to be a comma there. And you tend to forget it a lot.
Now I'm going to read the rest. :)
1EverfewSeems interesting, though I don't understand much when it comes to the concept, yet.
Be careful with the dialogues. You tend to write:
"Hello" I say.
When it should be like this:
"Hello," I say.
There's supposed to be a comma there. And you tend to forget it a lot.
Now I'm going to read the rest. :)
5/29/2014 c15 6LaneKathryn
THE DEMONS ARE COMING TO INVADE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE :0 lol. This was a really good chapter, thanks :)
6LaneKathrynTHE DEMONS ARE COMING TO INVADE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE :0 lol. This was a really good chapter, thanks :)
5/27/2014 c14 LaneKathryn
Ahhaha lol, poor Dana, talking to the weird crazy country people. This was a great chapter, thanks! I'm actually in the middle of an English lesson, and I saw you had updated, so I'm like, OMG, screw this lesson, I need to read this. Thanks heaps :D
Ahhaha lol, poor Dana, talking to the weird crazy country people. This was a great chapter, thanks! I'm actually in the middle of an English lesson, and I saw you had updated, so I'm like, OMG, screw this lesson, I need to read this. Thanks heaps :D
5/26/2014 c13 LaneKathryn
He gave his sword a hug? That could have ended badly... Lol. This was another great chapter, I love how they're all trying to kill each other over monopoly! Thanks :D
He gave his sword a hug? That could have ended badly... Lol. This was another great chapter, I love how they're all trying to kill each other over monopoly! Thanks :D
5/25/2014 c1 1CelinetheShadow
I've only read the first chapter, but it seems very interesting. I love that the characters have number names. I can imagine the parents of demons, "45, take out the trash!" "48, stop drooling." Other than some grammatical errors, the story is fun and fresh. The concept is new, because usually the stories revolve around the heroes not the villains. Keep writing and great job!
1CelinetheShadowI've only read the first chapter, but it seems very interesting. I love that the characters have number names. I can imagine the parents of demons, "45, take out the trash!" "48, stop drooling." Other than some grammatical errors, the story is fun and fresh. The concept is new, because usually the stories revolve around the heroes not the villains. Keep writing and great job!
5/24/2014 c12 6LaneKathryn
Woah! They are oldies!do they have seniors cards? Lol. Anyway... awesome chapter, the dialogue was perfect! Thanks :)
6LaneKathrynWoah! They are oldies!do they have seniors cards? Lol. Anyway... awesome chapter, the dialogue was perfect! Thanks :)
5/24/2014 c11 LaneKathryn
Ooooh scary 15 :) I liked this chapter, it had humour in it, which is always good :D
Ooooh scary 15 :) I liked this chapter, it had humour in it, which is always good :D
5/23/2014 c10 LaneKathryn
This was a great chapter! Things are getting moving :D and are you implying that you are in fact a demon who has benny transported down from some evil planet to spy on humans? *slowly back away with arms up*
Hehe, thanks for the chapter!
This was a great chapter! Things are getting moving :D and are you implying that you are in fact a demon who has benny transported down from some evil planet to spy on humans? *slowly back away with arms up*
Hehe, thanks for the chapter!
5/22/2014 c9 LaneKathryn
Hey nice chapter! It's wasn't exactly a cliffy, but for some reason it still left me hanging more more! Can't wait till the next update, thanks heaps :)
Hey nice chapter! It's wasn't exactly a cliffy, but for some reason it still left me hanging more more! Can't wait till the next update, thanks heaps :)
5/20/2014 c8 LaneKathryn
Haha hypothetical cookies:) they are the best kind! Thanks for the great chapter
Haha hypothetical cookies:) they are the best kind! Thanks for the great chapter
5/15/2014 c6 LaneKathryn
Lol. Nice chapter. I'm kind of in school right now, so I'll make this review quick. Thanks a heap (:
Lol. Nice chapter. I'm kind of in school right now, so I'll make this review quick. Thanks a heap (:
5/13/2014 c5 LaneKathryn
Damn, she got beat up good. That was a really good chapter! The fighting was realistic, I seem to always have a problem making the fighting sound legit it my writing. Well done and thanks :D
Damn, she got beat up good. That was a really good chapter! The fighting was realistic, I seem to always have a problem making the fighting sound legit it my writing. Well done and thanks :D
5/12/2014 c4 LaneKathryn
*gasp!* cliff hanger! arghhh she's gonna get beat up! This left me on th edge of my seat, plz plz update soon! Danke für das Kapitel! Lol... German.
*gasp!* cliff hanger! arghhh she's gonna get beat up! This left me on th edge of my seat, plz plz update soon! Danke für das Kapitel! Lol... German.