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for A pyre of childhood

9/4/2014 c1 8co-creating metamorphosis
Thanks so much for your wonderfully, detailed review. I apologize I am just returning it now!

I enjoyed this piece and your writing style. There is a sense of confusion that runs throughout the entirety; between the cab driver, the narrator, and perhaps even the reader. Although I thought this sense of confusion was done really well, it was almost *too* confusing at some points. I must admit, I'm not sure what this poem is about.

I was particularly intrigued by the descriptions of what children are "made" of.

Infinite love.
5/30/2014 c1 32RiddleSolved
I really like the overall imagery and mostly the story in this, but there's almost so much imagery that the entire theme drowns a bit? Also I do really miss some more capital letters and punctuation. And why do you write out everything on one line instead of breaking it off? In several of the places it would read the same, but involve less scrolling of the screen in tiny monitors and windows.
5/16/2014 c1 97rust phoenix
This is so beautiful. Your words are chosen perfectly and resonates deeply. This is one of my favourite of your poems in terms of imagery - the lemon, concrete, furniture, unbuttoning clothes, ocean, soil, cinder. The space between the images allows them each space to sink into the mind, and they all work beautifully with the tone and theme.
Thank you for sharing this.

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