for Nightfall: Kingdom of Ashes9/4/2014 c6 
3Doctor Smileaway
My apologies once again for reviewing so late.
As usual, this was a very good chapter. I especially love the way the title of the chapter corresponds to the events that take place. I can only imagine what kind of plans Armida and Myra will arrange for both the story and the escape. Again, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
I wish you luck with the move as well.
Doctor Smileaway
3Doctor SmileawayMy apologies once again for reviewing so late.
As usual, this was a very good chapter. I especially love the way the title of the chapter corresponds to the events that take place. I can only imagine what kind of plans Armida and Myra will arrange for both the story and the escape. Again, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
I wish you luck with the move as well.
Doctor Smileaway
8/16/2014 c5 3AzJahlee
Ooooooooo I can't believe it took me this long to realize you updated! Love love love! A great read while I'm under the weather lol :3
3AzJahleeOoooooooo I can't believe it took me this long to realize you updated! Love love love! A great read while I'm under the weather lol :3
8/6/2014 c1 Guest
Amazing characters and plot!
Amazing characters and plot!
8/5/2014 c4 1Nverta
Great story! It is really well written and described! You said mine was good and yours is absolutely amazing!
1NvertaGreat story! It is really well written and described! You said mine was good and yours is absolutely amazing!
8/4/2014 c4 3Doctor Smileaway
I really like this element you're working with-Vladimir being manipulative as he is and "training" Myra. It's a juicy moral battle, and I think it's got some great potential. Another incredible chapter, and once again I'm looking forward to the next.
My apologies for being late; I was away this past week.
Doctor Smileaway
3Doctor SmileawayI really like this element you're working with-Vladimir being manipulative as he is and "training" Myra. It's a juicy moral battle, and I think it's got some great potential. Another incredible chapter, and once again I'm looking forward to the next.
My apologies for being late; I was away this past week.
Doctor Smileaway
7/31/2014 c1 1Iris Nightningale
I really loved the plot! Your story contains many catchy phrases and I wish you best of luck for your next piece of writing!
1Iris NightningaleI really loved the plot! Your story contains many catchy phrases and I wish you best of luck for your next piece of writing!
7/17/2014 c3 4Jitterbug Blues
Hmm, I really enjoyed this – it’s not often that I finish a claim so quickly, but this story took on an old premise that I always enjoyed and transformed into something newer. I enjoyed that it had some flashes from ‘Interview with the Vampire’ – the throttling scene and Vlad turning a bit furious like Louis there, but it was fine, because I saw it as nothing but homage/tribute to a great moment in a good film :3 Anyhow, I must say I like Vlad: he’s dangerous and not to be trusted, but I keep thinking that there’s something about him that could be …redeemed. He’s not only cultured and intelligent, but I think he’s haunted by grief and feelings of vengeance. The brief moment there where he hinted that his wife had been murdered by someone who was later vindicated for his crime was horrifying, but also beautifully written, giving us a hint of his having been very much wronged. I like that he acknowledges his love for literature and art, but also showcases that humanity, on some level, is not better than this breed of vampires. It was an intelligent argument and a dangerous one, because Myra could have easily buckled there. But she didn’t and that was great. I liked that she had a counterargument ready and that she told Vlad that he was a hypocrite. It might have cost her a lot, but it was still a very brave moment.
Yes, I truly enjoyed the intensity of this chapter: whether it was the storytelling/correction or the debate/argument, it was all very passionately written, because of the dialogue and the underlying emotion in it. It was like being there with the characters themselves and hearing them utter these words. I really enjoyed every minute of reading this chapter.
With that in mind, I have to admit I enjoyed the tension between Vlad and Myra. You can tell that they both are fascinating to each other, even if Myra is more terrified than fascinated. However, there’s definitely some pull there, and I enjoy seeing them play each other off – they bring out the best and worst sides of each other (Vlad loses his composure, Myra becomes more reckless). Anyhow, while the boy’s death in this chapter terrified me, I really liked that you included it, because it reminded me that Vlad is not harmless and that he’s wiling to kill at any given moment. I admit I was in danger of forgetting that and this scene was a nice reminder of what’s at stake.
Otherwise, I think your writing is quite solid, with a lot of good lines here and there :3
4Jitterbug BluesHmm, I really enjoyed this – it’s not often that I finish a claim so quickly, but this story took on an old premise that I always enjoyed and transformed into something newer. I enjoyed that it had some flashes from ‘Interview with the Vampire’ – the throttling scene and Vlad turning a bit furious like Louis there, but it was fine, because I saw it as nothing but homage/tribute to a great moment in a good film :3 Anyhow, I must say I like Vlad: he’s dangerous and not to be trusted, but I keep thinking that there’s something about him that could be …redeemed. He’s not only cultured and intelligent, but I think he’s haunted by grief and feelings of vengeance. The brief moment there where he hinted that his wife had been murdered by someone who was later vindicated for his crime was horrifying, but also beautifully written, giving us a hint of his having been very much wronged. I like that he acknowledges his love for literature and art, but also showcases that humanity, on some level, is not better than this breed of vampires. It was an intelligent argument and a dangerous one, because Myra could have easily buckled there. But she didn’t and that was great. I liked that she had a counterargument ready and that she told Vlad that he was a hypocrite. It might have cost her a lot, but it was still a very brave moment.
Yes, I truly enjoyed the intensity of this chapter: whether it was the storytelling/correction or the debate/argument, it was all very passionately written, because of the dialogue and the underlying emotion in it. It was like being there with the characters themselves and hearing them utter these words. I really enjoyed every minute of reading this chapter.
With that in mind, I have to admit I enjoyed the tension between Vlad and Myra. You can tell that they both are fascinating to each other, even if Myra is more terrified than fascinated. However, there’s definitely some pull there, and I enjoy seeing them play each other off – they bring out the best and worst sides of each other (Vlad loses his composure, Myra becomes more reckless). Anyhow, while the boy’s death in this chapter terrified me, I really liked that you included it, because it reminded me that Vlad is not harmless and that he’s wiling to kill at any given moment. I admit I was in danger of forgetting that and this scene was a nice reminder of what’s at stake.
Otherwise, I think your writing is quite solid, with a lot of good lines here and there :3
7/17/2014 c2 Jitterbug Blues
Again, this chapter caught me off guard but in a good way :) Let me list off a few generalisms first though :3 I noticed that the writing was more detailed in this chapter, and I’m usually wary of description-heavy chapters, because the pacing gets bogged down so much. I didn’t quite find this to be the case here at all! In fact, I like how all your descriptions were actually relevant and interesting, as they revealed more information about this vampire society and this dystopia. I found all your descriptions to not only to be rich, but also very clear and fitting. For example, I really liked how you described the outfits and the setting, because they presented an atmosphere, but also told us a lot about this vampire society – namely, that they cultivate ‘high tastes’ and seem fond of luxuries.
What I really, really enjoy though is the plot so far, and what you’ve been revealing. I had somehow expected a few humans to be alive, but I hadn’t quite expected this plot twist – namely humans being bred as live-stock. I like that, because it’s quite dark but it also seems plausible. Moreover, it also opens the possibility of future revolt. In this case, I really liked the conversation between Myra and the older woman/the one captive, because it gave us that information re: human livestock quite naturally, but also was a well-written conversation scene in itself. I especially liked Myra’s surprise and shock there, because you wrote down her reactions believably. I generally enjoy how you write emotions – you do it very tangibly and pull the readers in, because of what I consider honest writing.
What I mean by that is that Myra seems very honest – with herself, regarding her cowardice, her wishes. I especially liked when she acknowledged that she was nearly sorry she wouldn’t be turned. It was definitely a dark moment, but very natural – who wouldn’t be tempted by the dark side? I felt that her honestly in this case was very admirable and refreshing.
Ohhh I loved that moment where you had her introduced to the Prince – the build-up with the books, her looking at the stars, and *his* appearance. I honestly think he’s quite enigmatic so far? He’s dangerous, yes, but I rather like how he seems *bored* with his existence and how he plays with her. He’s a mix between being a bastard and charming (I will admit that his chapter was a bit less ‘original’, with clear Buffy references and some similarities to ‘Interview with the Vampire’, but eh I didn’t mind because I love both :D I just hate the Twalight take on vampires XD XD). Anyhow, the Prince is an interesting character so far, and I’m interested as to why he’s so intrigued by Myra’s singing :3
Again, this chapter caught me off guard but in a good way :) Let me list off a few generalisms first though :3 I noticed that the writing was more detailed in this chapter, and I’m usually wary of description-heavy chapters, because the pacing gets bogged down so much. I didn’t quite find this to be the case here at all! In fact, I like how all your descriptions were actually relevant and interesting, as they revealed more information about this vampire society and this dystopia. I found all your descriptions to not only to be rich, but also very clear and fitting. For example, I really liked how you described the outfits and the setting, because they presented an atmosphere, but also told us a lot about this vampire society – namely, that they cultivate ‘high tastes’ and seem fond of luxuries.
What I really, really enjoy though is the plot so far, and what you’ve been revealing. I had somehow expected a few humans to be alive, but I hadn’t quite expected this plot twist – namely humans being bred as live-stock. I like that, because it’s quite dark but it also seems plausible. Moreover, it also opens the possibility of future revolt. In this case, I really liked the conversation between Myra and the older woman/the one captive, because it gave us that information re: human livestock quite naturally, but also was a well-written conversation scene in itself. I especially liked Myra’s surprise and shock there, because you wrote down her reactions believably. I generally enjoy how you write emotions – you do it very tangibly and pull the readers in, because of what I consider honest writing.
What I mean by that is that Myra seems very honest – with herself, regarding her cowardice, her wishes. I especially liked when she acknowledged that she was nearly sorry she wouldn’t be turned. It was definitely a dark moment, but very natural – who wouldn’t be tempted by the dark side? I felt that her honestly in this case was very admirable and refreshing.
Ohhh I loved that moment where you had her introduced to the Prince – the build-up with the books, her looking at the stars, and *his* appearance. I honestly think he’s quite enigmatic so far? He’s dangerous, yes, but I rather like how he seems *bored* with his existence and how he plays with her. He’s a mix between being a bastard and charming (I will admit that his chapter was a bit less ‘original’, with clear Buffy references and some similarities to ‘Interview with the Vampire’, but eh I didn’t mind because I love both :D I just hate the Twalight take on vampires XD XD). Anyhow, the Prince is an interesting character so far, and I’m interested as to why he’s so intrigued by Myra’s singing :3
7/17/2014 c1 Jitterbug Blues
I was expecting a lot of things from this, but I must say this has - by far :D - surpassed my expectations. On a general level, the writing is really good in this chapter: very smooth and easy to process, with short scenes that each add something to the plot and make chapter flow well. I don’t have any complaints or extra suggestions to make, because so far it’s all good really :3 I think the prose works especially well for this kind of story. But anyhow, let’s move on the plot :D
I find this story genuinely interesting, especially with the all the hints you’ve given us. What I especially like is the hint of this being a dystopia that was brought about by the invention of a device that controls the weather. I like it, because it’s genuinely unique and creative. I’ve not seen the likes of it before, but now that I think about it’s not really all that implausible (if one follows the logic presented within the story). I like how you presented that info, with it being told by an old woman who was there when it all happened. I thought it was a very smooth way of telling this, because it avoided info-dumping us too much in the first chapter (telling us everything in one go through an omniscient narrator). Hmm, yeah, I just find that kind of backstory rather interesting and refreshing so far :D
I’d call your take on vampires refreshing too so far. Sure, they’re still gaudy and arrogant, but I get the feeling that you’re not going to romanticise them. I like that, because that’s something that has happened far too often, and I feel a new approach would give this genre a breath of fresh air. What I like too is how you reference to vampires having been romanticised. Anyhow, what I like too is the characterisation of Myra: she’s very pragmatic and seems eager to destroy vampires, but she’s also got her weaknesses. She volunteered without really meaning to, I think – and she seems more bookwormish than experienced in terms of combat. But I like that, as it gives her a lot room for character development :) I also think it makes her a well-rounded character.
So yeah, pretty good so far :)
I was expecting a lot of things from this, but I must say this has - by far :D - surpassed my expectations. On a general level, the writing is really good in this chapter: very smooth and easy to process, with short scenes that each add something to the plot and make chapter flow well. I don’t have any complaints or extra suggestions to make, because so far it’s all good really :3 I think the prose works especially well for this kind of story. But anyhow, let’s move on the plot :D
I find this story genuinely interesting, especially with the all the hints you’ve given us. What I especially like is the hint of this being a dystopia that was brought about by the invention of a device that controls the weather. I like it, because it’s genuinely unique and creative. I’ve not seen the likes of it before, but now that I think about it’s not really all that implausible (if one follows the logic presented within the story). I like how you presented that info, with it being told by an old woman who was there when it all happened. I thought it was a very smooth way of telling this, because it avoided info-dumping us too much in the first chapter (telling us everything in one go through an omniscient narrator). Hmm, yeah, I just find that kind of backstory rather interesting and refreshing so far :D
I’d call your take on vampires refreshing too so far. Sure, they’re still gaudy and arrogant, but I get the feeling that you’re not going to romanticise them. I like that, because that’s something that has happened far too often, and I feel a new approach would give this genre a breath of fresh air. What I like too is how you reference to vampires having been romanticised. Anyhow, what I like too is the characterisation of Myra: she’s very pragmatic and seems eager to destroy vampires, but she’s also got her weaknesses. She volunteered without really meaning to, I think – and she seems more bookwormish than experienced in terms of combat. But I like that, as it gives her a lot room for character development :) I also think it makes her a well-rounded character.
So yeah, pretty good so far :)
7/14/2014 c1 2MarieBlueCat
This is a very good chapter and I encourage you to never stop making novels you're a lot like me and I like that
2MarieBlueCatThis is a very good chapter and I encourage you to never stop making novels you're a lot like me and I like that
7/10/2014 c3 Sherlock's 2nd Blogger
Great, now I feel guilty for eating pork. ;) Just kidding! Can't wait for the next one!
Great, now I feel guilty for eating pork. ;) Just kidding! Can't wait for the next one!
7/10/2014 c3 3Doctor Smileaway
You're very welcome!
Another job well-done. I must say you're very good at backing up both Myra and Vladimir's arguments; obviously a lot of thought was put into them. Vladimir is very good with writing tips, isn't he? I found that very interesting, and I also found myself mentally taking note of some of those tips myself. Again, very well-done. I am looking very forward to the next update.
Doctor Smileaway :)
3Doctor SmileawayYou're very welcome!
Another job well-done. I must say you're very good at backing up both Myra and Vladimir's arguments; obviously a lot of thought was put into them. Vladimir is very good with writing tips, isn't he? I found that very interesting, and I also found myself mentally taking note of some of those tips myself. Again, very well-done. I am looking very forward to the next update.
Doctor Smileaway :)
7/7/2014 c1 10hiddenwriter125
so far i like the way your writing reads. not too verbose but not to choppy. you have a good sense of flow that i appreciate when im reading. well done.
Hiddenwriter
10hiddenwriter125so far i like the way your writing reads. not too verbose but not to choppy. you have a good sense of flow that i appreciate when im reading. well done.
Hiddenwriter
7/4/2014 c2 Sherlock's 2nd Blogger
Thanks for the shout-out! I grinned the second I saw my pen name. ;)
Anyways, great chapter! Can't wait for the next one! I'd love to be ordered to do nothing but write (unless it was by a vampire). ;)
Thanks for the shout-out! I grinned the second I saw my pen name. ;)
Anyways, great chapter! Can't wait for the next one! I'd love to be ordered to do nothing but write (unless it was by a vampire). ;)