Just In
for Identity Crimes

7/24/2014 c1 9Uncivilized
Well well, look at this gem. Beautiful start to a fascinating idea.
Few mistakes as far as I could tell though there were some spelling errors.
The only thing I'd like to point out is that you use the narrator to describe everything that is happening but you give him/her a voice; meaning that it isn't a neutral narrator explaining what happens but take no part in the story. When the narrator says things like " In one hundred and twenty four years the rest of the world would" and the previous sentence it shows the reader that the narrator is an original character that takes part within the story. I only say this because it seemed as if you wanted a neutral narrator rather than the narrator actually taking part in the story. Anyway, good job. Liked it.

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