for The School Bully10/28/2015 c22 LoveIs4EverCrazy
Holy shit! You update! So happy!
This chapter was so amazing so effing amazing. She's getting closer to his friends :D
When they were dry humping it got hot in my room all of a sudden haha. When she told him about his diseases he could possibly have that would bloody hilarious hehe. You done a perfect job as always I just hope you update quicker? Next chapter is interesting why is she crying? I loved this chapter! Update again soon girlfriend xox
Holy shit! You update! So happy!
This chapter was so amazing so effing amazing. She's getting closer to his friends :D
When they were dry humping it got hot in my room all of a sudden haha. When she told him about his diseases he could possibly have that would bloody hilarious hehe. You done a perfect job as always I just hope you update quicker? Next chapter is interesting why is she crying? I loved this chapter! Update again soon girlfriend xox
310/28/2015 c22 that reviewer
thanks for the update
this is going to stay a t rated story, right? :D
thanks for the update
this is going to stay a t rated story, right? :D
10/28/2015 c22 TicoTaco
Filler chapter but an awesome one, I gotta say that when I saw the sneak peak from last chapter my mind instantly hit the gutters.
And I'm dying to know why Rohan hates Sophia, if it's something connected to her family or what exactly.
I gotta ask though why exactly did you choose your character to be freshmen and sophmores making them between 14-16 years old, practically the awkward phase in high school and still kids in a way.
Last part with John was the absolute shit XD XD.
Filler chapter but an awesome one, I gotta say that when I saw the sneak peak from last chapter my mind instantly hit the gutters.
And I'm dying to know why Rohan hates Sophia, if it's something connected to her family or what exactly.
I gotta ask though why exactly did you choose your character to be freshmen and sophmores making them between 14-16 years old, practically the awkward phase in high school and still kids in a way.
Last part with John was the absolute shit XD XD.
10/27/2015 c21 Guest
Make them have sex in the next chapter ;) hehe (this naughty me speaking hehe)
Make them have sex in the next chapter ;) hehe (this naughty me speaking hehe)
10/27/2015 c21 Prettyhurts
I've been waiting for ages to update, I've seem that you have posted things on Twitter 4 hours ago? Why haven't you updated yet? I would appreciate it so much so much if you update! I really need to read more- please? Thanks x
I've been waiting for ages to update, I've seem that you have posted things on Twitter 4 hours ago? Why haven't you updated yet? I would appreciate it so much so much if you update! I really need to read more- please? Thanks x
10/26/2015 c21 Guest
I really hope you update soon. I've been checking to see if you have updated every single day since you last update lol I can't wait to read more xox
I really hope you update soon. I've been checking to see if you have updated every single day since you last update lol I can't wait to read more xox
10/25/2015 c21 SpunkybtchX
Oh please update I'm dying over here. I need a dose of my favourite drug...This story! I do hope they have sex
Oh please update I'm dying over here. I need a dose of my favourite drug...This story! I do hope they have sex
10/24/2015 c21 Tar
Remember not to over work whatever Rohan's beef is with Sophia. You've set up and are revving up so much drama as is, especially with Leon's past and current circumstances. Don't fall into the-show-that-never-ends-about-plastics-who-never-graduate hole where contrived and convoluted plotlines replace actual complexity and good story telling. So far it doesn't look like you're in much danger of that, but just be careful. The choices you've made, such as juxtaposing two very different Christmases was highly effective (that one hurt so good! So did Leon getting upset over Sophia being a brat about leaving for Christmas holidays).
Question, though. Why isn't Leon taking a more proactive role in helping Sophia out with schoolwork? He knows part of her parents' approval of their relationship is contingent on how well Sophia is doing academically. While Leon isn't the kind to respect authority figures just because, he seems to be practical enough to not make things more difficult for himself than need be. Plus, he at least have a grudging respect for her parents, and he doesn't look down on schoolwork. And why is Leon trying to 'hide' his smarts? It doesn't make sense that Sophia didn't immediately demand to know how Leon knew she got every question wrong on her worksheet. She's not like Terry, but neither is she like Hannah - so far you've shown her to have some pride in her schoolwork. Enough pride that Terry's attitude towards her ideas for their assignment annoyed and frustrated her. I don't see how she can take the supposed bad boy who's more famous for bloody knuckles than brains flippantly telling her she got everything wrong without at least a complaint.
And final question for the day - I know it's in the title, but how long are you going to string out Sophia's misunderstanding towards Leon? She's a softie - as scared as she can get, she doesn't seem like the kind of person who would condone bullying. If you ever feel like rewriting the story, maybe you can spin the bullying thing more towards Leon being control-freaky. It's what you've been doing anyway! :) Given all the things Leon and his dad have to work through and Sophia's idyllic family life in comparison, I feel like it wouldn't devalue the drama of your story if Sophia found out early Leon isn't actually a bully in the strictest sense of the word. She wouldn't have to find out right away what kind of people he's targeting and why, but at least know that he's not hurting other people for stupid power trips. That moment when Sophia first saw Leon all busted up after a fight would've been a good moment to pop the bubble. That clearification would make the story more cohesive and coherent. Plus it would put further emphasis on all the stuff that hurts so good without wasting time on minor tensions. As it is, Sophia comes across as more of an ostrich who doesn't care who's hurt so long as it's not herself or anyone she likes than a big hearted person. Which is confusing, because in all the other ways you characterized her shows that she's not pea-hearted.
Those are just some thoughts I have, hopefully you didn't mind the tl;dr. This is still a very good story, but it can be more solid with some knuts and bolts tightened. :)
Remember not to over work whatever Rohan's beef is with Sophia. You've set up and are revving up so much drama as is, especially with Leon's past and current circumstances. Don't fall into the-show-that-never-ends-about-plastics-who-never-graduate hole where contrived and convoluted plotlines replace actual complexity and good story telling. So far it doesn't look like you're in much danger of that, but just be careful. The choices you've made, such as juxtaposing two very different Christmases was highly effective (that one hurt so good! So did Leon getting upset over Sophia being a brat about leaving for Christmas holidays).
Question, though. Why isn't Leon taking a more proactive role in helping Sophia out with schoolwork? He knows part of her parents' approval of their relationship is contingent on how well Sophia is doing academically. While Leon isn't the kind to respect authority figures just because, he seems to be practical enough to not make things more difficult for himself than need be. Plus, he at least have a grudging respect for her parents, and he doesn't look down on schoolwork. And why is Leon trying to 'hide' his smarts? It doesn't make sense that Sophia didn't immediately demand to know how Leon knew she got every question wrong on her worksheet. She's not like Terry, but neither is she like Hannah - so far you've shown her to have some pride in her schoolwork. Enough pride that Terry's attitude towards her ideas for their assignment annoyed and frustrated her. I don't see how she can take the supposed bad boy who's more famous for bloody knuckles than brains flippantly telling her she got everything wrong without at least a complaint.
And final question for the day - I know it's in the title, but how long are you going to string out Sophia's misunderstanding towards Leon? She's a softie - as scared as she can get, she doesn't seem like the kind of person who would condone bullying. If you ever feel like rewriting the story, maybe you can spin the bullying thing more towards Leon being control-freaky. It's what you've been doing anyway! :) Given all the things Leon and his dad have to work through and Sophia's idyllic family life in comparison, I feel like it wouldn't devalue the drama of your story if Sophia found out early Leon isn't actually a bully in the strictest sense of the word. She wouldn't have to find out right away what kind of people he's targeting and why, but at least know that he's not hurting other people for stupid power trips. That moment when Sophia first saw Leon all busted up after a fight would've been a good moment to pop the bubble. That clearification would make the story more cohesive and coherent. Plus it would put further emphasis on all the stuff that hurts so good without wasting time on minor tensions. As it is, Sophia comes across as more of an ostrich who doesn't care who's hurt so long as it's not herself or anyone she likes than a big hearted person. Which is confusing, because in all the other ways you characterized her shows that she's not pea-hearted.
Those are just some thoughts I have, hopefully you didn't mind the tl;dr. This is still a very good story, but it can be more solid with some knuts and bolts tightened. :)
10/24/2015 c21 Ebs27
I can't wait for you to update :D
Maybe they will even have sex in the next chapter ;) hehe.
I adore this story so much and I never want it to end. Loved everything about it. Xoxo
I can't wait for you to update :D
Maybe they will even have sex in the next chapter ;) hehe.
I adore this story so much and I never want it to end. Loved everything about it. Xoxo
10/24/2015 c21 Emoji
Please update...?
Please
Please
Please.
Please update...?
Please
Please
Please.
10/23/2015 c21 G.U.E.S.T
Awesome story :P I fell in love with it straight from the beggining xo- all characters are so amazing and Leon and Sophia make such a perfect couple. Jealous Sophia is funny you should do a chapter where a girls flirting with Leon again right in front of Sophia and have her get mad? That would be so funny lol.
In my personal opinion if you like the name Terry you should keep it, it doesn't matter what your cousin thinks it's your story so if you like her name keep it :) Your such a good author :D also when are they going to have S*X? I hope they do ;) update very soon.
Awesome story :P I fell in love with it straight from the beggining xo- all characters are so amazing and Leon and Sophia make such a perfect couple. Jealous Sophia is funny you should do a chapter where a girls flirting with Leon again right in front of Sophia and have her get mad? That would be so funny lol.
In my personal opinion if you like the name Terry you should keep it, it doesn't matter what your cousin thinks it's your story so if you like her name keep it :) Your such a good author :D also when are they going to have S*X? I hope they do ;) update very soon.
10/21/2015 c21 Guest
I really hope you make them have sex very soon ;) the sexual tension is getting higher and higher. Loved this story can't wait to read more
I really hope you make them have sex very soon ;) the sexual tension is getting higher and higher. Loved this story can't wait to read more
10/21/2015 c21 Guest
When are they going to have sex.
When are they going to have sex.