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for A Fairy Tale

5/9/2016 c2 4WhiteSand
Nice descriptions! I like how much care you've given each character, letting them think their own thoughts and breathe their own air. I'd like to see more of their interactions with others, with people of different genders and classes, how they treat animals. Also, I'm genuinely uncertain if the prince and princess would like each other, or if she would just make hell for everyone, and I wouldn't mind if you wrote a few more chapters to explore the possibilities.
8/6/2014 c1 2laurenexplorin
This is really good start and it is fantastic so far! your attention to detail compliments your somewhat comedic tone! please continue!
8/6/2014 c1 2S.D Stevens
Love your little intro, it almost reminds me of Shrek sat on the loo reading from a fairy tale. It's very fitting, short and sarcastic.

I like the first section, it only tells us enough and keeps the rest a mystery. Love how everything is old and decaying, even the king.

However, the bit about Princess Emily. First person is a pain in the ass to write and I'm not the greatest of fans, however if the story is good I can live with it. But the present tense its in doesn't flow very well. What you want to say is fine but its not coming over too well for me. Where she introduces herself is fine. From then on it reads more like a script.

There is enough in there to keep me readying but hoping the Princess gets her story telling act together ;)


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