2/9/2020 c2 35Starart152
This is a nice chapter where we saw what is going on with Reinhard as the Russian are slaughtering the French. I like the little details of what was going on with the character and his struggles to escape the battle, only to get caught by one Russian who mistook him from the French.

9/16/2018 c1 35Starart152
This is an interesting entry point for the story as it presented the French army as they were retreating from the forces. It is a little difficult to believe that there were women in the battlefield during that era as woman were only exceptions and it only worked when they women weren't seeing themselves as one. I am ready to suspend my disbelief and see it as a piece of fiction than reality.
As for the characters, we know little of them and it felt like Claire was the main protagonist and not Nathalie, until the very end.

4/23/2015 c6 17cud-b-better
So reinhard and his friend are heading for the very town that has just been taken, I wonder if this spells trouble for him. Still mainly hoping for the reunion between the two mc's. Anyway one thing I noticed is that you quite often put in the narration exactly what has happened after a dialogue, in a sense you're telling the reader what they already know or can easily work out.

Anyway just one error leaped out at me.

gave a depressed expression [one] again - [once]

4/23/2015 c4 cud-b-better
Well they quickly got themselves onto better terms and all it took was a little bit of food. I'm liking their interactions and I'm hoping to see even more of them. The serious soldier also having a serious girly albeit tomboy side to her, very well done.

A few errors/suggestions that I noticed:

that happened [the] just the previous day - [omit out]

sunlight gleamed on her, further emphasing the young beauty... - you basically repeat this in the following paragraph as well.

that he felt [that he felt] his knees weaken - [omit out]

[The pain was such that] the pain in his muscles felt... - [omit out]

closer and closer [into] him - [to]

4/22/2015 c1 Argentum Vir
Initial impressions: "Omelette du fromage". Incorrect, and in need of polish, I know. I feel the same way about your story disregarding the 'incorrect' part. What this story needs is a good look over to proofread, and a fine eye to polish what you have so far. Aside from that, I'm immediately drawn in thanks to the war opening. You do a decent job on that front.

By the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I'm quite interested in the MC's plight. Her friend is saved, and she's gonna give the [p]russians the what for. A real page turning prologue for sure.

And on the subject of prologues, I'm generally against them. But since this makes me think it's historical fiction, it gets a pass in my opinion. Others might disagree. It's not often you see women participating in war as historically gender roles were very good at discouraging it. I hope there's some decent justification for their want to participate, but for now the story description is a good stand in.

Not much to say about this chapter. Nathalie seems like she's got a decent head on her shoulders despite a quite suicidal confrontation at the end. We get a lot of faceless fighters on both sides making a war kinda hard to sympathize with.

Questions:

1) Am I right in the assumption that this is a historical fiction?
2) If so, what war are you basing it on so I can go educate myself a bit?
3) What language is your first?

4/21/2015 c2 Kenshin Kojima
You know, this is the first time I've read a story that takes place in a certain time era with a historical figure, as well as a historical event happening. I meant to make mention of that in my last review. I know this might sound weird, but you story reminds me of Assassin's Creed. I know there's no assassins, but it just has that feel to me.

Overall, this was another nicely done introduction of another character. Hm... What's a Prussian doing in Leipzig? I mean, he's not involved in the war. Sounds suspicious... You once again did an awesome job in detailing the tension. I wonder what Reinhard's role will be? If he survives, that is.

Thanks for the read!

4/21/2015 c7 Boneslayer
Aand move to long chapter. Things are getting more interesting with this buildup. Expecting moar action. Getting more comfy with Nattie's character, poor gal getting that flustered at the thought of the loot-grabbing Jaeger though.

A hunter with motion sickness. Welp, at least if he's the rider instead of the passenger he'll be fine, I guess.

4/21/2015 c5 Boneslayer
I've been reading until a point where I feel I can drop a review. To start off, the writing's really smooth and easy-to-read. Sometimes there are redundant phrases IMO such as 3 lines repeating the same though process of a character before the character's dialogue, and I felt a bit itchy reading single-word sentences in succession in the first chapter. I.e.: Debris. Wood. People. Panic. Confusion. Agitation. Without panic. Without confusion... those kind of things. I felt it could've been more flowing and impactful in a sentence. There's also the nitpick regarding dialogues having to end with commas rather than periods if it's followed by a dialogue tag rather than an action, but other than that, the writing's a pleasure to read.

Admittedly I'm not very sure where this story's going, since while there is the historical background which gives the setting some weight, the adventure part hasn't really been scaled up. It feels rather simplistic, not much depth or big plot explored yet, so far. Has adventure romance vibes too, which combined, makes this story so far seem more like a light read despite the historical background. Maybe due to the historical background and the fact the female protag's an elite soldier, I expected more than just the interactions even though it's this early in, like some bigger plot around the characters. I give you credit for the historical setting, it's more the plot around the characters I'm looking for now, more than just how they live. These are still what I was looking for personally, I guess.

I did like your action scenes, especially of note is the part where Nathalie fought with the mounted hussar 1-on-1.

By this chapter I've starting to feel the chemistry between Nathalie & Reinhard more. Admittedly, Nathalie's immature and inflated "hit and belittle the guy" traits annoyed me a bit, thus making her not that sympathetic or a grounded character in my view. She feels cartoonish so far, basically. I think Nathalie's character so far further makes this story seem more like a light, casual read, with that cartoony vibe. It's good that within all that war and devastation to have some comedic and light moments, in fact I'm all for them. It's just here I truly felt it was a bit too lulzy for the most part, the lulz too strongly defines the character rather than being one of their many traits or moods, again my opinion, and influenced by what I was expecting.

Still, the interacts have fun in them and overall give humanness, and Nathalie and Rein do have chemistry. Overall, my expectations are a big influence in what I've posted here, because I do feel there is a potentially inventive idea in the works, so was a bit let down when the vibe so far felt more generic. Still, it already stands as a solid work so far, and I can see from the neat and enjoyable details and writing and this work means a lot to you. Keep it up!