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for Dan, The Hero Giraffe

1/13/2015 c1 1ChrisCorcovado19
That was really awesome, Frodo's sister. By the way, I allowed private messaging now. I just need help on getting on. Mind giving me some guidance?
10/9/2014 c1 2CHI Productions
So about the conventions and pacing and whatnot, it was pretty good, although I did see a few instances where you put "stripes" instead of "Stripes" and in the last sentence, "long neck" should have been put as "Long Neck" (it's a proper noun) and the comma right before that shouldn't be there. However, I'm not going to point out every single error because none of them affected the flow of the story. Now about the story... I actually really liked it. Dan actually risked his life to save someone that bullied him all his life; if I were Dan and I saw Stripes like that, I'd just say "Well, what goes around comes around" and left with a smile and a wave to be honest. Also, I was really not expecting Dan's death in the end. I was reminded of Happy Tree Friends, it's a great story about helping someone purely out of the kindness of your heart and then Dan was ripped to shreds and presumably eaten at the end. Wow. As for the Christian message, I'm not really Christian, so I don't think I got the overall message, but it was overall a wonderful story about kindness, respect, and nobility.

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