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8/1 c1 knockmeoffmyfeet
Hey! I would like to invite you to join our platform to present a good quality story to our readers! Kindly send me a message if this offer piqued your interest!
1/2/2016 c8 waifwraithwolf
Once again I love your description and detail. The new backstory you gave expands Jimil's character. Right now I'm wondering if his feeling of guilt will ever pass away or whether he will be constantly criticizing his actions for much of the story. Will Bionica help him accept himself? I wait in anticipation for the next installment!
1/24/2015 c4 www
I'm so excited to have this story back again, and I love the dynamics you've created between the characters: Bionica's friendship and jealousy with Zia is really poignant and I congratulate you on another chapter well done. I can't wait to see how Bionica's relationships with Zia and Jimil progress (or deteriorate).
12/3/2014 c3 www
Great chapter! :) No complaints except for a small error in the following sentence:
"Welcome to the Ledge Clan!" She exclaimed...
(The S in she should not be capitalized.)
11/27/2014 c2 www
A question: Magic is such an ambiguous term. What exactly IS magic in this story and what does it do?
A suggestion: I dunno, but it seems to me that putting a little dialogue in would break up the longer paragraphs and add interest to the story. It may be difficult to put dialogue in journal entries, but I would like a little all the same. :)
What I liked: I'm intrigued about Jimil. Why does Bionica hate him?
Congrats on another great chap!
9/21/2014 c3 3waifwraithwolf
Well, I'm glad to hear that Magica is a little messed up (because otherwise it would be heaven and then there would be no story!) but it does confuse me why the prophet would be the only way for the people to communicate with God. That wasn't quite explained.
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be the Christian God or not? Magic is generally something I think of as "impossible". Yet I believe that God IS possible. So God is not magical. But since this is a fictional piece, I'll let it go. :)
One final thing: Do the journal entries have to be in italics? I think it would be easier to read with regular print and I don't see the need for italics, but it's up to you.
Please update soon!
Your intrigued and captivated reader,
waifwolf
9/15/2014 c2 waifwraithwolf
So. Bionica has some problems from her time spent in Magica, and she needs a psychologist to straighten her out. Isn't Magica SUPPOSED to be an utopian realm? (I'm guessing it's actually a dystopia?)
I'm looking forward to reading Bionica's journal. Please update fast because there are still so many questions left unanswered-I can't stand NOT knowing the answers!
(I also like your story picture.)
-waifwolf
9/14/2014 c1 waifwraithwolf
I was randomly browsing through the "New Stories" section and found this and was like, whoa. Is this the Ibbonray on Fanfiction? Apparently so. Well, hello, this is wordswithwind again (under a new name) and all I can say is: Amazing. This prologue is incredible, leaving me hungering for more. At the same time I'm filled with questions: what and where is Apolonia? Who's the old man? What does the book say? How has it survived all this time? I need the answer to these questions, so please update fast!
-waifwraithwolf
(I trust that only the prologue will be told in second person?)

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