Just In
for Safe handling of hazardous materials: POETRY

10/19/2014 c1 10Complex Variable
'Ello, it's been a while. :3

Anywho, I was busy prowling about your (internet) bachelor pad when I saw this and was curious.

Curiosity well worth it, I might add.

This poem made me smile; that "no—omg—I can't help myself" kind of smile. Those are the best.

As someone familiar enough with material safety data sheets, I greatly appreciate the demented scientific bent of this poem—indeed, science needs to have more fun poetry; the humanities have been hogging poetical subject-matter for far too long, I think.

I'm not quite sure "Catcher in the Rye" counts; it's a prose novel (even though, yes, its title was based off a poem).

[Do not use (my words without... of heartbreak).] - - - Is the weakest line (link? xD) of the poem, I think. All the other parenthetical quips in the poem enhance the meaning of the lines without dominating them outright. However, in this line, the majority of the line is contained in parenthesis, making it feel overloaded and unbalanced in relation to the rest of the work.

I would add a parenthetical '(like "love")' right after the word "carcinogen". ;)

I'm surprised you didn't go further with the MSDS motif; there's a lot more fun to be had. Ex: what is the boiling point of POETRY?; what is the freezing point?; what is it soluble in (water? blood? sweat? tears?); what does POETRY react with (music? song? nature? art?); what does POETRY appear like in solid, liquid, or gaseous form (what is its color, its odor, etc.); what are the protocols for dealing with accidental exposure to POETRY on the eyes, ears, skin, or soul?

I LOVE the running metaphor of this poem; namely, treating poetry like a physical substance, and from there, stating its "properties". But, as suggested above, I think you can go much deeper here, and counterbalance the ebullient whimsy with some really thought-provoking observations about the nature of poetry.

In other words: me likey. :D

*Adds to "Favorites"*
9/20/2014 c1 167girl- reinvented
I cannot get over how much I love the format this is written in. The unique flavor the citations and sources and cataloging of poetic facts are absolute genius. You could have written this minus the scientific journal awesomness, and I would have loved it still purely for the flow and romanticism. But- but!- there wouldn't have been quite the same thrill in my heart that comes with something I haven't see yet here on FP.

I do believe I may need to stalk your profile a little bit and see if I can continue to be colored impressed. :)

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