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for Joseph's weird adventure (This is a typical story old version)

1/17/2016 c1 17lunarchroniclesandcockatiels
That was interesting. It made me laugh, so nice job!
11/25/2015 c1 9TotoDaDog
This just made my day!

I can't stop laughing, the man-eating sofa was my favorite! XD I really really really like this, soooo funny thanks for writing this!

4/23/2015 c4 6J.A. Cadelina
I love this!
4/23/2015 c3 J.A. Cadelina
Love this! :D
4/23/2015 c2 J.A. Cadelina
SO random! Love it!
4/23/2015 c1 J.A. Cadelina
This made me laugh so much! I love it!
1/4/2015 c1 21Marina x Machina
This was SO weird and random...I actually like it...
12/11/2014 c1 90Timbo Slice
Oh boy, where to start? If anything I can appreciate the silliness of the whole disjointed situations, things like man-eating sofas, enemies armed with teddy bears, and flying fish are surely random and as a group effort it really shows you guys flair for the imaginative, seems like a cool group exercise to dabble in. :)


Overall the story felt stilted because of the bare bones writing and lack of plot elements to hold it all together. It felt more like a chore to read due to the events jumping all over the place with no real substance to hold it all together. I understand this being written for fun and it was definitely quirky but that doesn't mean it can't be edited and revised to "fluff up" the severely lacking prose and make it a semi coherent read. O_o
12/8/2014 c1 9Highway Unicorn

I'm a lady who likes her some randomness. And Illuminati? Even better.

I'm going to be honest here: Even though this is "For fun" as you stated at the end (and I can totally dig that), it's a rough read. Now, I'm not saying this story is awful, because I don't think that at all. From what I read so far, a rather cool plot can come from this: Flying murderous fish, space, living sofas, exploding islands, and shoot, even the Illuminati. From the first chapter alone, I can tell you writers have one hell of an imagination.

What I suggest is delving deeper into said imagination. Spread that plot out a bit more. Add more flesh to this. You writers have a cool idea with Joseph and his random adventures. I think fleshing it out as you go can really gain you more readers, and result in overall better read for them.

As it is now, this chapter is bare bone, even though a lot has happened. You jump from point A to point B very quickly, and all I'm saying is to fluff it up a bit. Add in some imagery or detail or more action/dialogue/description/etc. For example, you can fatten up chapter one to the point where it can stand on it's own instead of clumping it with five other chapters.

Again, I totally get and dig that this is a fun project between you all. I've done the same (with comics) and it's a super fun thing to do, and you want to share it with the world, am I right? Well, the world wants more of this story than what it is now. It's a cool idea and I'm just saying I want more, haha.

So yeah, I like the randomness to it since, for me, it's relaxing and I find myself having a good time, not thinking too much and just drifting away along with the story.

But what drags me back from said relaxation is that it's over too soon and I feel that really takes away from your guys' story. So, like I suggested above, add to this bad boy and you got yourself a rather fun and enjoyable story! :)
12/7/2014 c1 5Persevera
I like the randomness. It feels like I'm reading a group improv routine.
I don't like the carelessness of it though. If it's put up for review, even if it is a seat-of-the-pants thing, it still needs to be edited.
12/7/2014 c1 6French The Llama
The sofa part was hilarious. The complacent prose compared Joseph's very dramatic speech is really funny, i.e. Then the sofa started eating Joseph. The separate chapters also string together really well, as they mostly all have... strange weapons. Sometimes, the connections between scenes, saying, 'when Joseph woke, he was in a strange place,' gets a bit jarring and irritating. I would leave them out and just have a series of weird adventures without awkwardly explaining how he gets from one to the other.
Grammar point- you need a comma, question mark, full stop or exclamation mark before you close the speech marks.
12/6/2014 c1 1Cheddar-Graham
For the Review Game, Easy Fix

I won't say that this story is totally random, since the parts do fit together. Anyway, that's the first thing I liked: that in spite of the frequent scene changes there is a certain cohesiveness to this in the recurring theme of Joseph killing various entities, and the widespread use of swords.

The second thing I liked is how this story pokes fun at the kind of anime where there's a (often reluctant/clueless) hero who has a certain magical item and is thus automatically made the champion of good against some kind of evil. The adventures of the hero can seem pretty random sometimes, and this is what this piece reminds me of.
10/4/2014 c2 Cat-san
one word. Magical meow Mew
9/27/2014 c1 Blazing Lights
It's random but too random for my taste. However keep writing, can only improve. Also your writing busy no means is awful.

Have a Fantastic Day!:)
9/27/2014 c1 3KS King
Mind blown, in a good way. Good job, random as heck
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