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for The Jungle Flower

11/15/2014 c6 9NovemberRose1
Ok, getting a little picky here... I apologize in advance.
Anyways, wouldn't Flor be put into the care of a social worker, and not a cop? My family did a lot of foster care when I was growing up, and even if the child had just been taken from their home, the social worker was the one to hand off a child to foster parents. Just pointing that fact out.
Wouldn't Flor be frustrated in the least that her uncle was never able to tell her what made her so special? I know that if I were in her shoes, that would come up in my thoughts pretty soon.
Good luck, and happy writing! :-)
11/13/2014 c6 2renegade01
Brent and Susan seem nice. It was moving when Uncle Tom dies. I hope our mountain lion makes an appearance - maybe in human form... ;-)
11/13/2014 c5 RomanceObsessed
How do you pronounce Flor? Is it pronounced like the word 'floor' or the French word for flower 'fleur'? I wonder where the school is located, since Grand Lake is so small is it in Granby? Loved these last two chapters. I hope you update soon.
11/12/2014 c6 2dani-sgga
Great going! Two chapters in one night? Good job. I like where the story is going and I can see now how the high school setting will come into place. I've noticed that you haven't given Flor much of an internal voice. She's describing everything as it happens to her (which is cool) but it doesn't allow for much self-reflection or internalization, I guess. It's a shame 'cause I think it would be cool to give some insight into her thought processing. Like, she DESCRIBES her cougar being so human-like but her sense on wonder, awe, surprise, etc. over it doesn't come across. Likewise, she describes being sad and upset about her uncles failing health and death but we don't get to experience her feeling it. Am I making sense? This isn't a criticism since it's just a matter of writing style... and I'm enjoying the story thus far so I'm definitely not suggesting changing it. I'm just pointing it out because I think it might make things more difficult from now on since we're officially entering the "fish out of water" portion of Flor's life. I would expect that she's going to be feeling a lot of crazy emotions now that she's entering a brand new world of social interaction for which she has no preparation and it may be hard for us, as readers, to relate to her if all we get is her description of the situations as opposed to having the ability to experience her emotions along with her.
11/12/2014 c6 RomanceObsessed
Poor Flor, that all happened so fast.
11/12/2014 c3 RomanceObsessed
It says you you updated, but there isn't a new chapter. Did you just revise some things or did FictionPress mess up?
11/11/2014 c4 9NovemberRose1
I love the interaction between Cam and Flor. It's really cute. :-) I really want to find out why she must be kept away from society! Post again soon!
11/9/2014 c4 Samantha
What does he need to tell her? He keeps trying to, but the time is never good. Anyway, I really like the Greer's. Can't wait until your next chapter!
11/9/2014 c4 2renegade01
Aww her reaction to Cam is cute. It made me grin ;-) I think our mountain lion may start getting possessive once he realises...
11/8/2014 c4 RomanceObsessed
Very good so far, I am glad I found this story.
11/5/2014 c3 9NovemberRose1
AUGH! Cliffhanger! Really good story. I can't wait for her uncle to explain who she is! :-)
11/5/2014 c3 2renegade01
Love what I've read so far. The mountain lion sounds amazing and I'm interested to find out more about Flor's cravings ;-)
11/2/2014 c1 6Cazie
I really like this story! :D
11/1/2014 c2 2dani-sgga
Oh! You're back! That's exciting. I feel like us old folk don't really use Fictionpress very much any more but when I saw a story alert from you sitting in my inbox I had to come investigate! I'm very happy that you're published work is going well. Best of luck! I think I actually even bought your book when it first came out :)

This story seems promising and I'm looking forward to the rest. I can already see our friendly mountain lion being a shape shifter of sorts and having an entirely too human mind that was enjoying the eyeful hidden under all that fur. Something about growing up watching a girl grow up too sure makes it easy to develop a crush, me thinks.
11/1/2014 c2 9NovemberRose1
Wow. Caught my interest. It normally takes a lot to catch my interest on this sight. Very well written. I gathered from the beginning that you were published, so I guess that helps. ;-) there are just a few minor errors, but other than that, I can't wait to read more. :-) keep updating! ;-)
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