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11/27/2014 c23 ET Novem
Really short chapter, but i'm starting to see a pattern in the way you write. Anyways, Anna is so cool! Such a badassery way to control the situation. Kuniaki only gets what she deserves and why is Anna gonna help her?! I wonder if the concoction changed anything in Kuniaki mentally. If so, it'll be a rather interesting scene.
11/27/2014 c22 ET Novem
That is the expected outcome of Kuniaki, what with the greed she has over immortality. Stupid, stupid lady but oh wells, I don't really like her to begin with. Another monstrous concoction by pure accident and a touch of greed. I wonder if my prediction is coming true?
11/27/2014 c3 2YumehaMinakami
Ooh, action packed story we have here. There's non stop action happening within the first chapters and I like it. The was that multiple characters also speak and communicate with everyone is a great job indeed, they really captured the moment of the scene.
11/27/2014 c2 YumehaMinakami
I really like how you make your story flow, I really do. Even though I'm not used to reading a story in present tense I find it not that hard to read.

But I just have 2 suggestions if you don't mind.
1) Lessen you adverbs, it really dilutes the scenes. You have awesome scenes but the adverbs make them rather watered out. For example is chuckle nervously, you could remove the nervously and it will stay fine.

2) When your characters speak you could just put said and/ or replied rather than commands, suggests and others. Its easier to read and it doesn't pull the reader out of the experience.

Well, that's all for now. The story is great and the flow is good. God job.
11/27/2014 c27 6Darth Zannacross
Well, now we gone from aliens to school antics, with a rather grim dive to super seriousness if he is a sex offender.

So, not sure how this will turn out, randomly talking about clones replacing CEO's, sounds like it might lead to something. Well, we will see if among other things that guy is a true gorilla, this arc will be crazy indeed it seems.
11/27/2014 c26 Darth Zannacross
Well, I thought the arc was over, guess not. So, Dianne seems to be acting like a romance sleuth, maybe other things to. Guess we got to know more about future girl more so, nice.
11/27/2014 c27 2Kenshin Kojima
A serial rapist is on the loose in the school. I can only imagine how this going to go. Hmm... I haven't seen Anna. I guess she's still getting herself registered. OH GOD! What would happen if this serial rapist encounters Anna? I mean, she already castrated twenty-something Yazuka thugs. Who knows what she would do this poor criminal. I shudder at the thought.

Thanks for the read!

PS.
I forgot to thank you for the read on the last chapter. Apologizes about that.
11/27/2014 c26 Kenshin Kojima
I got a better insight on Anna and Dianne's past. So basically, Dianne was trained in firearms, because the head of family wanted her to serve as Damien's bodyguard. Interesting.

Anna going to school... ARE YOU OUT YOUR MIND?! I am truly getting a bad feeling about this. She has a cool personality, however, she can get weird at the drop of the hat. Hmm... I really wonder if Anna was doing research on the school, or researching getting something for Damien on his birthday.

I already know something is going to happen on Anna's first day of school. I can just feel it.
11/27/2014 c25 Kenshin Kojima
*blinks* Okay, that downright creepy as hell. Wait, this arc is over?! You didn't stay that in the last chapter!

*sighs* Well, if this is the end of the arc, then I have to say that it was messed up for Lady Kuniaki. She wanted to look younger, however, I think she truly did want immortality. She would do absolutely anything to achieve that goal. It seemingly cost her in the end. And it also seemingly cost Damien's deal with her Yazuka group.

On the bright side, I got to see a more approachable side from Damien. I mean, he seems to be opening up a little to Anna. I am curious to see how far their relationship will go in future arcs.

Thanks for the read!
11/27/2014 c24 Kenshin Kojima
Again, Lady Kuniaki got what deserved for stealing from Anna. Who knew all the hair she had digusted in the past would come back and bite her in the ass. I actually feel kind of sorry for her now. And if she doesn't calm down, then her stitches are rip open and she would be reduce to a pile of meat.

Thanks for the read!
11/27/2014 c23 Kenshin Kojima
She stole from Anna! I can't say I am surprised. I mean, on her way home, after the operation, she was smiling a little too much. Can't forget the content in her purse. Well, Lady Kuniaki got what she rightfully deserves.

Anna just too cool. Nothing bothers her. I am curious to find out what would take for her to lose her cool. I am telling you that Damien should just ask her out or something.

Overall, this was an interesting chapter. Kind of short, but it did get to the point.

Thanks for the read!
11/27/2014 c22 Kenshin Kojima
I liked this chapter. It gave me a better insight of Damien, as well his reason for liking Anna. I knew he liked Anna in his own demented way. Damien should just come clean and say that she likes the Anna. So, Dianne is trying to be like her brother. No way. It doesn't suit her. Sure, she's tough and can shoot like professional, but I don't think she has it in her to be cold like Damien.

As for his phone call with Miyazaki, it just shows that Damien is playing a game chess. Those around him are his pawns. Yeah, he said 'tools', but they're mostly pawns in his game. He really does remind of Lelouch and now Ceil from Black Butler.

Uh oh... I am getting a feeling that Lady Kuniaki's vanity is going to cost her more than just her good looks.

Thanks for the read!
11/27/2014 c21 Kenshin Kojima
Lady Kuniaki is a brave woman to get this kind of operation by someone who has never done it before. So, she just wanted to make herself look younger. I definitely think they are in agreement now.

Heh, it was cute that Damien caught Anna in his arms. But, it was also funny when her head fell, causing that bodyguard to freak out like he did. It was more funny how Damien was doing his best to play ignorance. Still, I really do believe Damien has some feelings for Anna. I mean, he did lay his coat over her as she sleeps. Sure, it was stained by her drool, but he cares for her. p

Overall, this was an amusing chapter.

Thanks for the read!
11/27/2014 c21 1Nori-san
Oh crap...I have a feeling that Kuniaki stole the reagent of life and attempts to apply it and science went wrong from there, disfiguring her. Angered, she orders the yakuza to blow their house and capture Anna where they will interrogate her and force her to make Kuniaki's face better again to which they find out that Anna is not exactly human and that's when experiments were conducted on the future girl. Meanwhile Damien gets worried and attempts the 'damsel in distress' trope and firearms galore and they save the day! I think?
11/27/2014 c20 Nori-san
The godmother. Fitting for someone as intimidating as Kuniaki. Great way of Anna to show off her futuristic medical works with this scene. I'd never think of that and it's a really refreshing scene. I kinda expected Damien to seek the Yakuza since the words 'fight fire with fire' is commonplace in this day and age. I can't wait to see a huge fight break out if there are! Yakuza warfare!
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