for How DARE He12/8/2014 c1 
1LuluLou
I think this scene would be perfect if we just had a context for it. Tell us a bit about the characters, introduce them to us. You don't really have to tell us what happened between the girl and the guy that hasn't arrived yet or why it's gotten her so angry; not really. We just need some background info to tell what's really going on.
But keep it up. I enjoyed reading it.
1LuluLouI think this scene would be perfect if we just had a context for it. Tell us a bit about the characters, introduce them to us. You don't really have to tell us what happened between the girl and the guy that hasn't arrived yet or why it's gotten her so angry; not really. We just need some background info to tell what's really going on.
But keep it up. I enjoyed reading it.
11/25/2014 c1 TheSnowyAngel
First, it should be slightly longer. Maybe some background info on the characters. Consider things like: How did they fall in love? What do they look like? ETC... This is actually a really good story, just needs more development. Good Luck! :)
-TheSnowyAngel
First, it should be slightly longer. Maybe some background info on the characters. Consider things like: How did they fall in love? What do they look like? ETC... This is actually a really good story, just needs more development. Good Luck! :)
-TheSnowyAngel