for Seeker2/28/2017 c50 XxXOoO
A nice, refreshing change from the stories that I usually read here. A different approach to death, life, and God.
Thank you.
A nice, refreshing change from the stories that I usually read here. A different approach to death, life, and God.
Thank you.
9/3/2016 c50 
3herondalechick123
Wow this story was very intense and moving. Didn't realize how religious it became until the real message was shown at the end of this chapter. Thank you for this experience!
3herondalechick123Wow this story was very intense and moving. Didn't realize how religious it became until the real message was shown at the end of this chapter. Thank you for this experience!
6/15/2016 c50 1VictoriaJameson
Out of all the great stories I have read on this site, yours has moved me the most. Thank you for sharing this. I think this would make a great YA novel if you want to publish someday. You have a wonderful, story-telling talent. And thank you for speaking Truth. :)
1VictoriaJamesonOut of all the great stories I have read on this site, yours has moved me the most. Thank you for sharing this. I think this would make a great YA novel if you want to publish someday. You have a wonderful, story-telling talent. And thank you for speaking Truth. :)
5/29/2016 c50 michelleme
I loved the story. Yes I choked up at the end. It was very fitting. Are you going to continue the story? So many unanswered questions. Why could Harper see the one Angel of death? Who is Harper? Why was Mila's mark left on Silas, but not Harper's on the other angel? Are there more like Mila? You could turn this into a whole series! Actually more than one...a branch with the angels of death, the guardian angels, and Joshua's story. I am truly a fan, and thank you for this story.
I loved the story. Yes I choked up at the end. It was very fitting. Are you going to continue the story? So many unanswered questions. Why could Harper see the one Angel of death? Who is Harper? Why was Mila's mark left on Silas, but not Harper's on the other angel? Are there more like Mila? You could turn this into a whole series! Actually more than one...a branch with the angels of death, the guardian angels, and Joshua's story. I am truly a fan, and thank you for this story.
5/25/2016 c50 10Be My Valentine
And like you, my journey with this story has come to an end. Was I distressed by the final chapter? No I liked it XD What was fantastic was the last two lines. "I'm dying, but I'm ready now that my search has come to an end. As I look at Joshua, I know that I have found the one I have been seeking." It...fit. It fitted with the theme of the story and the title of the story. Maybe it's one of my fav closing lines you've written. Of course I wonder what will happen to Silas, and how he will raise Joshua alone. I'm sure he'll do a good job, though it's ironic he stops being Death, and then Death claims the love of his life. Joshua sounds like he's going to be important in the future O.o
Thanks for spending time with this story.
You've certainly broken records with this one.
10Be My ValentineAnd like you, my journey with this story has come to an end. Was I distressed by the final chapter? No I liked it XD What was fantastic was the last two lines. "I'm dying, but I'm ready now that my search has come to an end. As I look at Joshua, I know that I have found the one I have been seeking." It...fit. It fitted with the theme of the story and the title of the story. Maybe it's one of my fav closing lines you've written. Of course I wonder what will happen to Silas, and how he will raise Joshua alone. I'm sure he'll do a good job, though it's ironic he stops being Death, and then Death claims the love of his life. Joshua sounds like he's going to be important in the future O.o
Thanks for spending time with this story.
You've certainly broken records with this one.
5/25/2016 c49 Be My Valentine
["I'm still a virgin," she confirms. "Technically."
"You are," I assure her. ]
Why is Mila assuring Shelby she's still a virgin. Doesn't Shelby know if she's a virgin or not? She just said she was a virgin, still! "Technically" Maybe that misnomer can be replaced with a word that would make more sense - like "You are," I agreed. Assure means you reinforce something positively to dispel any doubts. Was Shelby getting confused? If she was, maybe the word 'confirms' can be replaced to something else that shows doubt.
I liked the latter part of the chapter more, purely because it was nice to see Mason's drama. At first I was like, "Him again?" but when Mila probed him about the reasons he stopped from taking Shelby's virginity, I was leaning in too, curious. I like how you kept it on a cliffhanger, so we genuinely didn't get to find out what his deal was .
So Mila's pregnant.
I've always been leery of people's who's only ambition is to "be a mother." I think "good mother" is a better fit :D Also when a person only focuses on motherhood (or fatherhood) before actually having a baby and little else (emphasis on the little else), there's usually a deep-rooted reason behind it. Like it's the environment they grew up in. Or they had a traumatic childhood, and want to replace that with "happy memories." Or they think it will keep their partner by their side. Or they waited so long for a baby, and tried for a baby so many times it's consuming their every thought. I'm still not gelling with Mila's sudden enthusiasm to have babies all of a sudden, but we're here now
["I'm still a virgin," she confirms. "Technically."
"You are," I assure her. ]
Why is Mila assuring Shelby she's still a virgin. Doesn't Shelby know if she's a virgin or not? She just said she was a virgin, still! "Technically" Maybe that misnomer can be replaced with a word that would make more sense - like "You are," I agreed. Assure means you reinforce something positively to dispel any doubts. Was Shelby getting confused? If she was, maybe the word 'confirms' can be replaced to something else that shows doubt.
I liked the latter part of the chapter more, purely because it was nice to see Mason's drama. At first I was like, "Him again?" but when Mila probed him about the reasons he stopped from taking Shelby's virginity, I was leaning in too, curious. I like how you kept it on a cliffhanger, so we genuinely didn't get to find out what his deal was .
So Mila's pregnant.
I've always been leery of people's who's only ambition is to "be a mother." I think "good mother" is a better fit :D Also when a person only focuses on motherhood (or fatherhood) before actually having a baby and little else (emphasis on the little else), there's usually a deep-rooted reason behind it. Like it's the environment they grew up in. Or they had a traumatic childhood, and want to replace that with "happy memories." Or they think it will keep their partner by their side. Or they waited so long for a baby, and tried for a baby so many times it's consuming their every thought. I'm still not gelling with Mila's sudden enthusiasm to have babies all of a sudden, but we're here now
5/24/2016 c48 Be My Valentine
Man, I was meant to say something, but you fried my brain with all the love-making one after the other. All my eloquence has fled me. My vernacular has been depleted. You don't mind these short reviews do you? If by the last chapter, my mind is still coming up blank, I'll wait for tomorrow to gather some thoughts :D
Man, I was meant to say something, but you fried my brain with all the love-making one after the other. All my eloquence has fled me. My vernacular has been depleted. You don't mind these short reviews do you? If by the last chapter, my mind is still coming up blank, I'll wait for tomorrow to gather some thoughts :D
5/24/2016 c47 Be My Valentine
I have a feeling this would make a lot of readers happy. You did it well :)
I have a feeling this would make a lot of readers happy. You did it well :)
5/24/2016 c46 Be My Valentine
This is where your pictures came into play. Thanks for the visualization.
This is where your pictures came into play. Thanks for the visualization.
5/22/2016 c50 livinginmymindgirl
Oh my god I can't believe she died *tears* This was such an amazing story. Great plot and uniqueness. You made me feel many emotions while I was reading. I loved Mila and Silas. They truly were soulmates. Mila dying was meant to be and it makes a good tragic ending. It makes your story more realistic and less fairy tale. It's just sad she will never see her baby grow up and be with Silas anymore. I wonder how Silas would deal without Mila since she made him human and showed him the ways of the world. Anyway, I really loved this and enjoyed reading it. I believe your story could be big. It is definitely my favorite on here.
Oh my god I can't believe she died *tears* This was such an amazing story. Great plot and uniqueness. You made me feel many emotions while I was reading. I loved Mila and Silas. They truly were soulmates. Mila dying was meant to be and it makes a good tragic ending. It makes your story more realistic and less fairy tale. It's just sad she will never see her baby grow up and be with Silas anymore. I wonder how Silas would deal without Mila since she made him human and showed him the ways of the world. Anyway, I really loved this and enjoyed reading it. I believe your story could be big. It is definitely my favorite on here.
5/20/2016 c50 ajashire1
well I liked it; then it got... weird.
Meh,your writing skills are good so whatever. :)
well I liked it; then it got... weird.
Meh,your writing skills are good so whatever. :)
5/19/2016 c45 Be My Valentine
Grammar tip:
*Always place yourself last in a list of pronouns.
For eg, My dad and I (pretend I've underlined I) or My dad and me (same with me)
Never,
me and my dad.
In the first paragraph of this chapter, "I know that was supposed to be an emotional moment between me and my dad" is a grammatical no-no. Should be, "I know that was supposed to be an emotional moment between my dad and me"
Use "My dad and I" if the pronoun is subject of a verb ie, My dad and I went to the theater.
And "My dad and me" if pronoun is object of the verb or preposition. ie, Nothing more was said between my dad and me
Am I explaining it well?
I'll apply it to your story, missing some words out
"My dad and I shared an emotional moment" (Pronoun is subject. YOU are taking charge!)
"An emotional moment was shared between my dad and me (Emotional moment is subject, you've become the object!)
*cough*
It's something I've been taught to do as a kid. "Place yourself last, place yourself last"...not as a lesson to knock my self-esteem, but to make a sentence grammatically correct! "Shelia and I" "Kevin and I" "Kevin and me" "Sheila and me"
Maybe you can use "Me and Sheila" as stylistic dialogue. Because some people do speak like that! "Me and Sheila" "Me and Kevin" - so it's definitely stylistic. But narration? Nahhhhhh
I enjoyed the wedding chapter!
Mason brought in some token cynicism which was surprisingly appreciated.
Balanced things out?
Grammar tip:
*Always place yourself last in a list of pronouns.
For eg, My dad and I (pretend I've underlined I) or My dad and me (same with me)
Never,
me and my dad.
In the first paragraph of this chapter, "I know that was supposed to be an emotional moment between me and my dad" is a grammatical no-no. Should be, "I know that was supposed to be an emotional moment between my dad and me"
Use "My dad and I" if the pronoun is subject of a verb ie, My dad and I went to the theater.
And "My dad and me" if pronoun is object of the verb or preposition. ie, Nothing more was said between my dad and me
Am I explaining it well?
I'll apply it to your story, missing some words out
"My dad and I shared an emotional moment" (Pronoun is subject. YOU are taking charge!)
"An emotional moment was shared between my dad and me (Emotional moment is subject, you've become the object!)
*cough*
It's something I've been taught to do as a kid. "Place yourself last, place yourself last"...not as a lesson to knock my self-esteem, but to make a sentence grammatically correct! "Shelia and I" "Kevin and I" "Kevin and me" "Sheila and me"
Maybe you can use "Me and Sheila" as stylistic dialogue. Because some people do speak like that! "Me and Sheila" "Me and Kevin" - so it's definitely stylistic. But narration? Nahhhhhh
I enjoyed the wedding chapter!
Mason brought in some token cynicism which was surprisingly appreciated.
Balanced things out?
5/19/2016 c44 Be My Valentine
*I am happy as any other bride...
Err, ever heard of bridezilla? The common phenomenon that takes over an aggrieved female? Scary stuff *shudders with a smirk*
I was about to complain when Silas started listing all the ways scuba diving could kill ya...(he's no fun)...but then it was kinda interesting how he deflected Mila's questioning about if it was something he's interested in. So...he's still at the accommodating stage? When will he start spouting forth opinions? Hmmm, interesting.
*I am happy as any other bride...
Err, ever heard of bridezilla? The common phenomenon that takes over an aggrieved female? Scary stuff *shudders with a smirk*
I was about to complain when Silas started listing all the ways scuba diving could kill ya...(he's no fun)...but then it was kinda interesting how he deflected Mila's questioning about if it was something he's interested in. So...he's still at the accommodating stage? When will he start spouting forth opinions? Hmmm, interesting.
5/19/2016 c43 Be My Valentine
Sorry if my reviews are intermittent. I'm reading a chapter, then going off to do an activity around the house. Then I come back, and pick up where I left off XD I admit, the last trip was purely self-indulgent. I went to the fridge and grabbed two vanilla custard pastries with pecan shavings on top :P
And man, it was food much needed.
It was great to see Mason again, but I was getting a little pissed when he was so anti-Mila getting married. Like, dude. Where were you a few chapters ago? Also this chapter is making me nostalgic for Tyler. I don't think he was even in the story at the beginning, except to be mentioned, but I still visited the early chapters to make sure. God, way to miss a guy who hasn't even actually been present in the story :P Only his memory...when Mila explains to Tyler at his grave, "He's the guy you saw the day of the canoe trip," it made my breath catch a little. Such a simple sentence, but so evocative. You can just imagine Tyler and the gang, spotting Silas as Death, but having no clue of their upcoming fates :( Yet, again I'm moved...I mean, I don't think you were even trying to move me, but I can't help it...and the more I talk about it, the more it makes me want to well up.
Okay, shutting up now :)
Sorry if my reviews are intermittent. I'm reading a chapter, then going off to do an activity around the house. Then I come back, and pick up where I left off XD I admit, the last trip was purely self-indulgent. I went to the fridge and grabbed two vanilla custard pastries with pecan shavings on top :P
And man, it was food much needed.
It was great to see Mason again, but I was getting a little pissed when he was so anti-Mila getting married. Like, dude. Where were you a few chapters ago? Also this chapter is making me nostalgic for Tyler. I don't think he was even in the story at the beginning, except to be mentioned, but I still visited the early chapters to make sure. God, way to miss a guy who hasn't even actually been present in the story :P Only his memory...when Mila explains to Tyler at his grave, "He's the guy you saw the day of the canoe trip," it made my breath catch a little. Such a simple sentence, but so evocative. You can just imagine Tyler and the gang, spotting Silas as Death, but having no clue of their upcoming fates :( Yet, again I'm moved...I mean, I don't think you were even trying to move me, but I can't help it...and the more I talk about it, the more it makes me want to well up.
Okay, shutting up now :)