for The Blacksmith's Bride12/16/2014 c2 
4Leasah
I like Joanna's character. She is so genuine. An innocent girl in love with a knight, dreaming of marriage, sheltered from the fact that said knight could be just a player. I felt kind of sorry for her when her uncle said that she should get a marriage proposal soon or he'll marry her off to someone else.
Hal is an interesting character. I like him more than his brother obviously. I wonder how long Roger is planning to play around with Joanna. I'm also curious to how she'll end up marrying Hal.
4LeasahI like Joanna's character. She is so genuine. An innocent girl in love with a knight, dreaming of marriage, sheltered from the fact that said knight could be just a player. I felt kind of sorry for her when her uncle said that she should get a marriage proposal soon or he'll marry her off to someone else.
Hal is an interesting character. I like him more than his brother obviously. I wonder how long Roger is planning to play around with Joanna. I'm also curious to how she'll end up marrying Hal.
12/16/2014 c2 batzmaru347
I like Hal trying to defend Joanna's virtue. How long before they end up married?
I like Hal trying to defend Joanna's virtue. How long before they end up married?
12/15/2014 c2 12XxScriboLegoxX
Roger is a creep but I guess not uncommon for a man of his birth and time period. I'm wondering if he either thinks she has more money than she does and will abandon her when he learns the truth (even with her Uncle saying others would want to marry her because of the connection to him, she's still just the neice, and not a daughter) or if he has absolutely no intention to marry her even now.
I like Hal. He seems, at the moment anyway, like a good guy. He appears to be genuinely concerned not only about Johanna's reputation but her feelings as well. It's going to be really interesting to see the interaction between them once they are forced into marrying each other. It's going to be interesting how you play out the dynamic I think. Whether he truly doesn't want to marry her as much as I am sure she won't want to marry him or if he will see it as an opportunity. We still don't know what his business is. Why would her uncle give her to the bastard son when he has said she has many other possible, probably legitimate choices, if not that he is fairly successful in what he is doing. The marriage would have to be beneficial to both parties I would think, otherwise her uncle wouldn't allow it to happen and Hal not only could refuse but his father wouldn't command it. Those are the only reasons I can see Hal being compelled to agree to the marriage.
Anyway I will stop my rambling now.
Very excited to see what comes next! Thanks for the update.
12XxScriboLegoxXRoger is a creep but I guess not uncommon for a man of his birth and time period. I'm wondering if he either thinks she has more money than she does and will abandon her when he learns the truth (even with her Uncle saying others would want to marry her because of the connection to him, she's still just the neice, and not a daughter) or if he has absolutely no intention to marry her even now.
I like Hal. He seems, at the moment anyway, like a good guy. He appears to be genuinely concerned not only about Johanna's reputation but her feelings as well. It's going to be really interesting to see the interaction between them once they are forced into marrying each other. It's going to be interesting how you play out the dynamic I think. Whether he truly doesn't want to marry her as much as I am sure she won't want to marry him or if he will see it as an opportunity. We still don't know what his business is. Why would her uncle give her to the bastard son when he has said she has many other possible, probably legitimate choices, if not that he is fairly successful in what he is doing. The marriage would have to be beneficial to both parties I would think, otherwise her uncle wouldn't allow it to happen and Hal not only could refuse but his father wouldn't command it. Those are the only reasons I can see Hal being compelled to agree to the marriage.
Anyway I will stop my rambling now.
Very excited to see what comes next! Thanks for the update.
12/4/2014 c1 batzmaru347
This seems pretty intriguing! I hope you write more. I really like it so far.
This seems pretty intriguing! I hope you write more. I really like it so far.
12/4/2014 c1 Hedonistic Opportunist
It's a pleasure to be reading this, though this usually isn't my genre at all. But I really enjoy how you use the best aspects of this genre, but avoid some of the more common pitfalls. For one, your prose isn't filled with purple prose, but enjoyably readable, with precise wording and vivid descriptions. It's descriptive and details, but within reasonable limits: I don't feel like you are trying to sell the male characters attractiveness too hard, and I also think that the romance is tastefully handled.
I do like that the romance seems realistic, given the setting and the characters' probable age. Joanna comes across as naive and innocent, but also very genuine and adorable in her expectations. She's not brainless, but she is also still very inexperienced, and I fear that it is her very innocence that may become her downfall (I actually like how she reminds me of say, Tess from you know what novel - hint: it didn't end well for Tess at all). Yeah, I would say that your depiction of her is quite realistic, even by today's standards :)
I like Hal so far, because he is teasing and gives off naughty implications, but I also think he has good intentions at heart. He seems to be protective of Joanna, and I like that he is warning her to be more self-aware. I like his background of being a half-brother, because that sets up more future drama, and also explains why he calls his brother 'sir'. I can tell that there is tension between him and Joanna already, but I like that it isn't instalove but more of a mild irritation on Joanna's part.
It's a pleasure to be reading this, though this usually isn't my genre at all. But I really enjoy how you use the best aspects of this genre, but avoid some of the more common pitfalls. For one, your prose isn't filled with purple prose, but enjoyably readable, with precise wording and vivid descriptions. It's descriptive and details, but within reasonable limits: I don't feel like you are trying to sell the male characters attractiveness too hard, and I also think that the romance is tastefully handled.
I do like that the romance seems realistic, given the setting and the characters' probable age. Joanna comes across as naive and innocent, but also very genuine and adorable in her expectations. She's not brainless, but she is also still very inexperienced, and I fear that it is her very innocence that may become her downfall (I actually like how she reminds me of say, Tess from you know what novel - hint: it didn't end well for Tess at all). Yeah, I would say that your depiction of her is quite realistic, even by today's standards :)
I like Hal so far, because he is teasing and gives off naughty implications, but I also think he has good intentions at heart. He seems to be protective of Joanna, and I like that he is warning her to be more self-aware. I like his background of being a half-brother, because that sets up more future drama, and also explains why he calls his brother 'sir'. I can tell that there is tension between him and Joanna already, but I like that it isn't instalove but more of a mild irritation on Joanna's part.
12/2/2014 c1 12XxScriboLegoxX
I think there's a lot of potential here. I'm excited to see what will happened between Hal and Joanna in the coming chapters.
12XxScriboLegoxXI think there's a lot of potential here. I'm excited to see what will happened between Hal and Joanna in the coming chapters.