for The Hunt4/10/2015 c3 
1Iccirrion
'But Your Twin's Pair's blood twin's blood twin's Twin's Pair is Death's only child.'
I had to read that line several times before it actually made sense :P
Another great chapter, and again, not much I can say bad about the story, there are still some grammitical and spelling errors, although most of the latter seem to be the result of missing a key while typing rather than incompetentence.
And now we have elves and magic, in the first chapter I thought the story was going to have some dark, slightly futuristic setting, then chapter two added in psychic powers and now this. And the best part is it doesn't feel like it damages the story.
1Iccirrion'But Your Twin's Pair's blood twin's blood twin's Twin's Pair is Death's only child.'
I had to read that line several times before it actually made sense :P
Another great chapter, and again, not much I can say bad about the story, there are still some grammitical and spelling errors, although most of the latter seem to be the result of missing a key while typing rather than incompetentence.
And now we have elves and magic, in the first chapter I thought the story was going to have some dark, slightly futuristic setting, then chapter two added in psychic powers and now this. And the best part is it doesn't feel like it damages the story.
4/10/2015 c2 Iccirrion
Well, you're not slow with getting relationships started. And I see paragraphs here now...maybe I should wait until I finish the story before reviewing...
pAnyway, story is still going good, not as much plot development here as I expected, but it was a nice chapter for fleshing out the characters a bit more.
pAgain, a few grammatical errors and a couple of names missing capital letters, but that's just being nitpicky.
pWell, onto the next chapter.
Well, you're not slow with getting relationships started. And I see paragraphs here now...maybe I should wait until I finish the story before reviewing...
pAnyway, story is still going good, not as much plot development here as I expected, but it was a nice chapter for fleshing out the characters a bit more.
pAgain, a few grammatical errors and a couple of names missing capital letters, but that's just being nitpicky.
pWell, onto the next chapter.
4/10/2015 c1 Iccirrion
I like this, not much more to say...but no point reviewing if I'm not going to criticize.
pOn the plus side, good, clear character descriptions, always useful for those who find it hard to create their own images in their minds. The story itself feels solid, there are a lot of questions about what is happening, but with any first chapter questions are often a good thing, keeps people wanting more.
pImprovements...paragraphs. It can sometimes make it easier for readers if you don't write out sequences as one large block of text, and helps the story flow more, in my opinion anyway. But aside from some minor grammatical errors, that's all I can see to improve.
pGood job.
I like this, not much more to say...but no point reviewing if I'm not going to criticize.
pOn the plus side, good, clear character descriptions, always useful for those who find it hard to create their own images in their minds. The story itself feels solid, there are a lot of questions about what is happening, but with any first chapter questions are often a good thing, keeps people wanting more.
pImprovements...paragraphs. It can sometimes make it easier for readers if you don't write out sequences as one large block of text, and helps the story flow more, in my opinion anyway. But aside from some minor grammatical errors, that's all I can see to improve.
pGood job.