for Revenge1/8/2017 c27 
1Cheddar-Graham
I'm glad there are a few more chapters cause if you just ended the story like this I'd feel REALLY unfulfilled, like having a pizza without cheese... Getting the bad guys 'merely' expelled means they're still out there in the same town, plotting who knows what against our intrepid hero... Since you've got a 'serious' plot going underneath the whole Ian x Joe story, it's only right that you resolve it fully and take care of any loose ends.
1Cheddar-GrahamI'm glad there are a few more chapters cause if you just ended the story like this I'd feel REALLY unfulfilled, like having a pizza without cheese... Getting the bad guys 'merely' expelled means they're still out there in the same town, plotting who knows what against our intrepid hero... Since you've got a 'serious' plot going underneath the whole Ian x Joe story, it's only right that you resolve it fully and take care of any loose ends.
1/8/2017 c26 Cheddar-Graham
Ian's parents are awesome! And it's cool that you included them in a substantial way (ie not just window dressing) cause it'd be unrealistic for Ian to be facing all this without any of it being noticed by his folks. The revenge thing gets moving big time (about time, seeing as how the whole story is about revenge and even the title is 'Revenge' lol) Personally I'm the 'walk away' type so I can't really say I identify with Ian's need to ruin their lives, but I'm still interested to find out what he actually does!
Ian's parents are awesome! And it's cool that you included them in a substantial way (ie not just window dressing) cause it'd be unrealistic for Ian to be facing all this without any of it being noticed by his folks. The revenge thing gets moving big time (about time, seeing as how the whole story is about revenge and even the title is 'Revenge' lol) Personally I'm the 'walk away' type so I can't really say I identify with Ian's need to ruin their lives, but I'm still interested to find out what he actually does!
1/8/2017 c25 Cheddar-Graham
Ooh, exciting stuff! Who says slash stories don't have good plots? :) I guess I could suggest making Devon's motives a little clearer, but that's a minor point.
"Guess what happened? You got laid." LOL, I loved that exchange! It was so nonchalant yet so REAL. Proms get a bad rap, really, people think it's an orgy or something but not all proms are about sex and drugs - least, mine wasn't...
Ooh, exciting stuff! Who says slash stories don't have good plots? :) I guess I could suggest making Devon's motives a little clearer, but that's a minor point.
"Guess what happened? You got laid." LOL, I loved that exchange! It was so nonchalant yet so REAL. Proms get a bad rap, really, people think it's an orgy or something but not all proms are about sex and drugs - least, mine wasn't...
1/8/2017 c24 Cheddar-Graham
I liked the cutesy conversation, but I was rather hoping that there'd be more than just hair-ruffling... *tries to look innocent* On second thought, Ian's driving, so ok, I take it back.
Also, that subplot about the coach covering up gives this piece weight so that it isn't just fluffy or lemony.
I liked the cutesy conversation, but I was rather hoping that there'd be more than just hair-ruffling... *tries to look innocent* On second thought, Ian's driving, so ok, I take it back.
Also, that subplot about the coach covering up gives this piece weight so that it isn't just fluffy or lemony.
1/8/2017 c23 Cheddar-Graham
Heh, Joe was jealous, wasn't he? Ian should've milked that, but understandably he was too confused at that moment. Actually I'm confused too. I feel kinda like I'm in a pinball machine right now. My head is spinning from all the sudden twists and turns... but in a good way. :D Straightforward plots are boring.
BTW the reminder about Devon was super helpful!
Heh, Joe was jealous, wasn't he? Ian should've milked that, but understandably he was too confused at that moment. Actually I'm confused too. I feel kinda like I'm in a pinball machine right now. My head is spinning from all the sudden twists and turns... but in a good way. :D Straightforward plots are boring.
BTW the reminder about Devon was super helpful!
1/8/2017 c22 Cheddar-Graham
WHAT? They just had dinner and went home? Aw come on, at least give us some teasers! Not even a description of the goodbye kiss? *fumes*
And then Jay drops the bomb... Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh? I'm with you on this one, Ian. First you get a tonne of grief for being gay and now this happens? My spidey sense is tingling, boy! Be carrrrrrreful...
WHAT? They just had dinner and went home? Aw come on, at least give us some teasers! Not even a description of the goodbye kiss? *fumes*
And then Jay drops the bomb... Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh? I'm with you on this one, Ian. First you get a tonne of grief for being gay and now this happens? My spidey sense is tingling, boy! Be carrrrrrreful...
1/8/2017 c21 Cheddar-Graham
First off, it's good that you made it clear that Ian's parents are completely supportive of his orientation. His mum sending him off like that makes this very clear. The 'hottie' and 'stunning' remarks were a bit surprising to me cause like I said, my impression of how guys talk is more of the monosyllabic type (I'd have gone for the long meaningful look) but hey, maybe I just haven't met a guy who talks like that yet!
I thought Joe was over-reacting a bit when he complained about the football guys being at the theatre, and then when he was the one dumping popcorn and soda I went, Huh? Cause I thought it'd be Ian doing all that. I had Joe pegged as the gentle, introspective type, see, and Ian is the take-action firebrand... But anyway, this is some wild date so far!
First off, it's good that you made it clear that Ian's parents are completely supportive of his orientation. His mum sending him off like that makes this very clear. The 'hottie' and 'stunning' remarks were a bit surprising to me cause like I said, my impression of how guys talk is more of the monosyllabic type (I'd have gone for the long meaningful look) but hey, maybe I just haven't met a guy who talks like that yet!
I thought Joe was over-reacting a bit when he complained about the football guys being at the theatre, and then when he was the one dumping popcorn and soda I went, Huh? Cause I thought it'd be Ian doing all that. I had Joe pegged as the gentle, introspective type, see, and Ian is the take-action firebrand... But anyway, this is some wild date so far!
1/5/2017 c20 1Cheddar-Graham
Aw, you shouldn't have given the spoiler! I was just getting happy over the prospect of Joe and Ian finally doing couple things...
1Cheddar-GrahamAw, you shouldn't have given the spoiler! I was just getting happy over the prospect of Joe and Ian finally doing couple things...
1/5/2017 c19 Cheddar-Graham
Revenge is sweet, but it might turn around and bite, so be careful Ian. That's all I can say for now. Cause I'm a wuss and I fear for his safety, yeah...
Revenge is sweet, but it might turn around and bite, so be careful Ian. That's all I can say for now. Cause I'm a wuss and I fear for his safety, yeah...
1/5/2017 c18 Cheddar-Graham
Ian is finally getting his revenge, or I suppose it could be called retribution. I feel kind of bad for Clay though, cause he did try to make amends already. As for the question - I suppose it'd be nice for them to make up, but it'd be more fun if things stewed a bit longer.
Typo: hOspital, somethIng
Ian is finally getting his revenge, or I suppose it could be called retribution. I feel kind of bad for Clay though, cause he did try to make amends already. As for the question - I suppose it'd be nice for them to make up, but it'd be more fun if things stewed a bit longer.
Typo: hOspital, somethIng
1/5/2017 c17 Cheddar-Graham
Yes, yes, I did! But then looking back, he couldn't have any pics of them since he only saw them the one time and he didn't have a camera on him.
Yes, yes, I did! But then looking back, he couldn't have any pics of them since he only saw them the one time and he didn't have a camera on him.
1/5/2017 c16 Cheddar-Graham
Hmm, I'm not feeling very sympathetic towards Ian, sorry. I want to tell him that the universe doesn't revolve around him, and it isn't everybody's purpose of existence to make him happy. Yes, he's miserable about Joe, but that's no excuse for taking it out on Parker and Aaron. I still like Parker, so there.
Hmm, I'm not feeling very sympathetic towards Ian, sorry. I want to tell him that the universe doesn't revolve around him, and it isn't everybody's purpose of existence to make him happy. Yes, he's miserable about Joe, but that's no excuse for taking it out on Parker and Aaron. I still like Parker, so there.
1/5/2017 c15 Cheddar-Graham
I'm not really shocked, no... cause the biggest homophobes are often the most closeted gays, or at least that's what I learned from Glee.
Ian's mum sounds like she IS having a mid-life crisis. Either that, or she's the most laidback mum I've ever read about in a YA story.
Typo: saId sarcastically.
I'm not really shocked, no... cause the biggest homophobes are often the most closeted gays, or at least that's what I learned from Glee.
Ian's mum sounds like she IS having a mid-life crisis. Either that, or she's the most laidback mum I've ever read about in a YA story.
Typo: saId sarcastically.