for Hello, Again9/28/2015 c19 emmalieh
I loved seeing this chapter. Adam's perpective is fun to read. The only comment I have is making it clear which time jump we're on. For the most part the chapter accomplished that. Can't wait for the next chapter
I loved seeing this chapter. Adam's perpective is fun to read. The only comment I have is making it clear which time jump we're on. For the most part the chapter accomplished that. Can't wait for the next chapter
9/12/2015 c19 shinju asuka
Just found your story today. Love how you write this! At the beginning i was a bit confused because of multiple timeline. But oh this story is amazing! I am glad you decided to make this longer to tell about Amelia's reason to breakup and story how they got together in the past. However i'm certainly looking forward to finding out how their current relationship went!
Just found your story today. Love how you write this! At the beginning i was a bit confused because of multiple timeline. But oh this story is amazing! I am glad you decided to make this longer to tell about Amelia's reason to breakup and story how they got together in the past. However i'm certainly looking forward to finding out how their current relationship went!
9/10/2015 c5 
8LorrahBear
How refreshing to come back to this lovely story. I adore your prose, and your style is magnificent. I really enjoyed reading this!
8LorrahBearHow refreshing to come back to this lovely story. I adore your prose, and your style is magnificent. I really enjoyed reading this!
7/19/2015 c18 hopeless romant
You're a gem. UPDATE SOOON
You're a gem. UPDATE SOOON
7/19/2015 c18 Guest
Loved this chapter! Every new revelation gives a bit more depth to Amelia and Adam. That insight into what the characters are feeling makes one hang onto every new sentence. Can't wait for more. But your studies are more importation! L.
Loved this chapter! Every new revelation gives a bit more depth to Amelia and Adam. That insight into what the characters are feeling makes one hang onto every new sentence. Can't wait for more. But your studies are more importation! L.
7/19/2015 c18 xxSongBirdxx
Hey there. thanks for another chapter, I really liked this we see more of what her and Adam were like together, followed with what they feel. Take as much time as you need, I will await patiently for your next update. Until then have a nice day.
Hey there. thanks for another chapter, I really liked this we see more of what her and Adam were like together, followed with what they feel. Take as much time as you need, I will await patiently for your next update. Until then have a nice day.
7/15/2015 c1 2Yannick
I'm not sure this chapter could have any criticism, because the way you write seems absolutely perfect. A little more on the mature side, great descriptors, and an interesting way of bringing events to life. Yes, there are a few missing words here and there (maybe you were typing too quickly?) but that's just nitpicking, and there may have been one or two moments where I felt like phrases could be rewritten, but that's just my own personal preference.
Definitely looking forward to reading the rest of what you've written so far, and I hope they will be just as complete as this chapter.
2YannickI'm not sure this chapter could have any criticism, because the way you write seems absolutely perfect. A little more on the mature side, great descriptors, and an interesting way of bringing events to life. Yes, there are a few missing words here and there (maybe you were typing too quickly?) but that's just nitpicking, and there may have been one or two moments where I felt like phrases could be rewritten, but that's just my own personal preference.
Definitely looking forward to reading the rest of what you've written so far, and I hope they will be just as complete as this chapter.
7/12/2015 c4 8LorrahBear
As always, I love this chapter and your writing style. Absolutely fantastic. I love how you described the journal she might have kept, if she kept journals, but obviously, she doesn't. Even the lines describing what she *might* have done so clearly show exactly who she is. You do such a great job of truly subscribing to the "show, don't tell" mentality of writing.
The way you describe the way she feels receiving a text message from Jason Finch is spot on. I can absolutely feel exactly what she must be feeling. You did a great job connecting your reader to your character in this section.
"Streetcar Named Rejection." Love.
OH. Son of a Snark! I was so excited for her, so proud of her for being brave and just *rolling* with it and he cancels! AGHHHH.
A few nit-picky items:
"Hunting for casual dress shirts (as promised)[,] she..."
"...they'd ask her themselves, nicely." I found the end to this sentence just a little bit out of sync with the rest of your writing style. I can understand what you're saying, but the canter of it felt a little different. Maybe something along the lines of "they would simply ask her themselves. Nicely, of course."? This one, of course, can't even be considered nit-picky. More of a personal preference thing.
When Abby asks if Dr. Finch "ever goes off duty," I believe she should have her own paragraph line. It looks like the Abby and Amelia both speak in this same paragraph without a line break, unless I'm just misunderstanding the flow of their conversation here.
Abby and Amelia share a line of conversation again a few times when talking about Per Se (I love the restaurant name) too.
"Finally slipping into the indigo dress[ ] that would make its appearance..." There's a comma where my space is that I don't think belongs there. I may be wrong, however. Besides, I love me some commas. :)
8LorrahBearAs always, I love this chapter and your writing style. Absolutely fantastic. I love how you described the journal she might have kept, if she kept journals, but obviously, she doesn't. Even the lines describing what she *might* have done so clearly show exactly who she is. You do such a great job of truly subscribing to the "show, don't tell" mentality of writing.
The way you describe the way she feels receiving a text message from Jason Finch is spot on. I can absolutely feel exactly what she must be feeling. You did a great job connecting your reader to your character in this section.
"Streetcar Named Rejection." Love.
OH. Son of a Snark! I was so excited for her, so proud of her for being brave and just *rolling* with it and he cancels! AGHHHH.
A few nit-picky items:
"Hunting for casual dress shirts (as promised)[,] she..."
"...they'd ask her themselves, nicely." I found the end to this sentence just a little bit out of sync with the rest of your writing style. I can understand what you're saying, but the canter of it felt a little different. Maybe something along the lines of "they would simply ask her themselves. Nicely, of course."? This one, of course, can't even be considered nit-picky. More of a personal preference thing.
When Abby asks if Dr. Finch "ever goes off duty," I believe she should have her own paragraph line. It looks like the Abby and Amelia both speak in this same paragraph without a line break, unless I'm just misunderstanding the flow of their conversation here.
Abby and Amelia share a line of conversation again a few times when talking about Per Se (I love the restaurant name) too.
"Finally slipping into the indigo dress[ ] that would make its appearance..." There's a comma where my space is that I don't think belongs there. I may be wrong, however. Besides, I love me some commas. :)
7/7/2015 c2 LorrahBear
Well that was lovely! You use such fantastic imagery, and your word choice is simply spot on. I simulationsly adore the way you use parentheses, while at the same time feel like they could be even more powerful if used slightly less frequently. I imediatly felt so bad for Amelia when she found out the art was done by that man. It was like all the air went out of your writing, and sucked mine out as well. Such a great job.
Well that was lovely! You use such fantastic imagery, and your word choice is simply spot on. I simulationsly adore the way you use parentheses, while at the same time feel like they could be even more powerful if used slightly less frequently. I imediatly felt so bad for Amelia when she found out the art was done by that man. It was like all the air went out of your writing, and sucked mine out as well. Such a great job.
7/5/2015 c1 LorrahBear
Wow, this is really impressive. Your diction choices are spot on, and you have an excellent flow. There is just enough of Amelia dropping back into reality to make the reader remember that she is thoroughly sensible, yet just enough yearning to let us know that maybe she isn't.
I suppose my only suggestion would be to change the way the date is worded of their kiss. Maybe "On [the] seventeenth [of] October," but that is a purely preference thing, and trivial at best.
Love it!
Wow, this is really impressive. Your diction choices are spot on, and you have an excellent flow. There is just enough of Amelia dropping back into reality to make the reader remember that she is thoroughly sensible, yet just enough yearning to let us know that maybe she isn't.
I suppose my only suggestion would be to change the way the date is worded of their kiss. Maybe "On [the] seventeenth [of] October," but that is a purely preference thing, and trivial at best.
Love it!
7/4/2015 c17 xxSongBirdxx
Hey thanks for the dedication That was really nice of you, Well I really enjoyed this chapter, I see that Ameila and Adam are amicable with each other at least. I get why Armin is a little hostile towards Ameila but he also doesn't know the whole story with what happened so he's being a bit of a dick tbh. I wonder what was said in that letter to Sarah and whether there will be hope for Adam and Ameila interactions in the future. I see you're having trouble with writing at the moment, don't worry if you can't update in a while I will await patently for your next update. I have a nice day.
Hey thanks for the dedication That was really nice of you, Well I really enjoyed this chapter, I see that Ameila and Adam are amicable with each other at least. I get why Armin is a little hostile towards Ameila but he also doesn't know the whole story with what happened so he's being a bit of a dick tbh. I wonder what was said in that letter to Sarah and whether there will be hope for Adam and Ameila interactions in the future. I see you're having trouble with writing at the moment, don't worry if you can't update in a while I will await patently for your next update. I have a nice day.
7/3/2015 c17 emmalie
I find it so hard to believe that you are having difficulty with this story, because I am loving to read it. I do hope you continue with it. I am looking forward to adam and Amelia finally talking...and reconciling? (One can hope) a suggestion i would have is to see more of their past relationship in the flashbacks. It's often hinted at, but I feel as though we haven't gotten to see the intensity that seems to linger. Also there are just a few spots in this chapter where pronouns and names are mixed up. Otherwise it was a lovely read.
I find it so hard to believe that you are having difficulty with this story, because I am loving to read it. I do hope you continue with it. I am looking forward to adam and Amelia finally talking...and reconciling? (One can hope) a suggestion i would have is to see more of their past relationship in the flashbacks. It's often hinted at, but I feel as though we haven't gotten to see the intensity that seems to linger. Also there are just a few spots in this chapter where pronouns and names are mixed up. Otherwise it was a lovely read.
6/26/2015 c16 Guest
I really enjoyed the last two chapters. I think you're doing really well with revealing the delicate relationships between Amelia and the other characters and then the frustratingly heartbreaking breakdown of those relationships. You're dialogue now does sound less forced and more natural although Amelia gives of that impression because of her personality/issues. The consistency in dialogue language is good. I also like how you have injected Trevor into the story at just the right moments as a voice of reason. Good work. L
I really enjoyed the last two chapters. I think you're doing really well with revealing the delicate relationships between Amelia and the other characters and then the frustratingly heartbreaking breakdown of those relationships. You're dialogue now does sound less forced and more natural although Amelia gives of that impression because of her personality/issues. The consistency in dialogue language is good. I also like how you have injected Trevor into the story at just the right moments as a voice of reason. Good work. L
6/23/2015 c16 xxSongBirdxx
This was brilliant, sad to see it stop here but can't wait to read more once you update again, until then I have a nice day.
This was brilliant, sad to see it stop here but can't wait to read more once you update again, until then I have a nice day.
6/22/2015 c15 xxSongBirdxx
Do we get to find out the reason why she left I hope so, this is really great now off to read the latest.
Do we get to find out the reason why she left I hope so, this is really great now off to read the latest.