for Bella and Connor4/16/2015 c10 Sasha
Heyyyyy
Don't blaspheme else i will never EVER review again. I mean that ok?
this chapters jolly intense as u say...keep going! :)
Heyyyyy
Don't blaspheme else i will never EVER review again. I mean that ok?
this chapters jolly intense as u say...keep going! :)
4/13/2015 c1 
1eros494
Wow...I added this story to my favorites before I even finished half of the first chapter. I love how you write. The descriptions flow nicely and your dialogue is just as smooth. I will definitely continue reading this story when I get the chance!
1eros494Wow...I added this story to my favorites before I even finished half of the first chapter. I love how you write. The descriptions flow nicely and your dialogue is just as smooth. I will definitely continue reading this story when I get the chance!
4/10/2015 c8 sasha
heyo please let connor cum outa jail soon...feel so sorry 4 Bella...
heyo please let connor cum outa jail soon...feel so sorry 4 Bella...
4/9/2015 c8 EllaRose
a) orange juice
b) game of thrones
Wow, Americans take the justice system seriously! I'm English which I guess is why I thought he was going down for such a long time. I did work experience in a law office and literally seen people get suspended sentences for stuff like that. I knew Connor was going to start thinking like that! Seriously, why can't men just let the woman decide what's best for her?! So rude.
a) orange juice
b) game of thrones
Wow, Americans take the justice system seriously! I'm English which I guess is why I thought he was going down for such a long time. I did work experience in a law office and literally seen people get suspended sentences for stuff like that. I knew Connor was going to start thinking like that! Seriously, why can't men just let the woman decide what's best for her?! So rude.
4/5/2015 c7 Taint.Revile.Elude
"Love is not free."
How very true that is in this story. Bella and Connor are bound to pay. They don't know it yet but their love story is going to end tragically. There is no kingdom and Connor is no prince. He's like a dark knight on a steed, born and bred for bloodier things. Poor Bella, she will be one of those things. Pity is he will be the end of her BECAUSE his love for her is selfish. Not a bad thing if they could have time to grow and learn to love unselfishly. Sad-face!
Oh, the drama! If only Mrs. Barrow had fallen to her knees! However, her screaming for her "baby" was classic. I tip my hat to the classic.
Brie was right about Bobby doing the right thing. That surprise me, but it is a wonderful contrast to Bella and Connor's relationship. I can't wait to see what happens next.
"Love is not free."
How very true that is in this story. Bella and Connor are bound to pay. They don't know it yet but their love story is going to end tragically. There is no kingdom and Connor is no prince. He's like a dark knight on a steed, born and bred for bloodier things. Poor Bella, she will be one of those things. Pity is he will be the end of her BECAUSE his love for her is selfish. Not a bad thing if they could have time to grow and learn to love unselfishly. Sad-face!
Oh, the drama! If only Mrs. Barrow had fallen to her knees! However, her screaming for her "baby" was classic. I tip my hat to the classic.
Brie was right about Bobby doing the right thing. That surprise me, but it is a wonderful contrast to Bella and Connor's relationship. I can't wait to see what happens next.
4/3/2015 c7 EllaRose
That is the most unrealistic prison sentence I've ever heard. You don't get 16 years for killing someone often enough. Shame.
That is the most unrealistic prison sentence I've ever heard. You don't get 16 years for killing someone often enough. Shame.
4/1/2015 c6 beverlyamethyst
Loved the chapter! I don't think I really expected him to stop the crime when he's a criminal and, yet, I kind of hoped. Well, at least this way, there's some drama yay :)
I wonder what her reaction will be when she finds out... Anger? Sadness? Disappointment?
Can't wait to read more!
Loved the chapter! I don't think I really expected him to stop the crime when he's a criminal and, yet, I kind of hoped. Well, at least this way, there's some drama yay :)
I wonder what her reaction will be when she finds out... Anger? Sadness? Disappointment?
Can't wait to read more!
4/1/2015 c6 Taint.Revile.Elude
He is in trouble! Does he break out of prison? I am not familiar enough with the source material to be familiar with this part of the story - if this isn't a twist of your own imagining, that is. Lol. Damn; I knew he was going to get caught up, though. I didn't know he'd get arrested, I thought he'd pull his gun on the wrong someone, somewhere and have to run, grabbing Bella in the interim. Not that there would be much of one.
This just got exciting! And just when things were so freaking sweet! Damn, I feel bad, lol.
He is in trouble! Does he break out of prison? I am not familiar enough with the source material to be familiar with this part of the story - if this isn't a twist of your own imagining, that is. Lol. Damn; I knew he was going to get caught up, though. I didn't know he'd get arrested, I thought he'd pull his gun on the wrong someone, somewhere and have to run, grabbing Bella in the interim. Not that there would be much of one.
This just got exciting! And just when things were so freaking sweet! Damn, I feel bad, lol.
3/23/2015 c5 Taint.Revile.Elude
The beginning felt like it held a shoutout to yours truly. It was awesome, of course! Connor, showing up to ask Bella out, was sweet.
The poem Lizzie had to memorize, it's the one Bonnie wrote, right? This story inspired me to watch a documentary, one of several, and this poem was brought up. I like how you weave in bits of the history this modernized re-telling is based upon. Adds authenticity, if one is looking for it.
Also, you brought this story into the modern reality in this chapter more than any other by mentioning pandora and Bella's cell phone. Made me think, right then, how easy it is to date something! Congrats.
Brie is a mess, I swear. Think before you speak, woman! Yes, you hate Connor; no, you cannot judge his companions based upon his actions. And she actually thought for a moment Bobby would open his mouth about his little brother for reduced time? Poor girl.
Have you ever seen A Beautiful Mind? If so, I am reminded of the scene where the main character draws an umbrella in the stars to impress his date and simultaneously hold her close! Bella and Connor, shoulder to shoulder, had a bit of that magic going on.
Can't wait for more. It is incredible, they haven't even begun their spree!
The beginning felt like it held a shoutout to yours truly. It was awesome, of course! Connor, showing up to ask Bella out, was sweet.
The poem Lizzie had to memorize, it's the one Bonnie wrote, right? This story inspired me to watch a documentary, one of several, and this poem was brought up. I like how you weave in bits of the history this modernized re-telling is based upon. Adds authenticity, if one is looking for it.
Also, you brought this story into the modern reality in this chapter more than any other by mentioning pandora and Bella's cell phone. Made me think, right then, how easy it is to date something! Congrats.
Brie is a mess, I swear. Think before you speak, woman! Yes, you hate Connor; no, you cannot judge his companions based upon his actions. And she actually thought for a moment Bobby would open his mouth about his little brother for reduced time? Poor girl.
Have you ever seen A Beautiful Mind? If so, I am reminded of the scene where the main character draws an umbrella in the stars to impress his date and simultaneously hold her close! Bella and Connor, shoulder to shoulder, had a bit of that magic going on.
Can't wait for more. It is incredible, they haven't even begun their spree!
3/23/2015 c4 Taint.Revile.Elude
I agree with Bella, Connor is impossible to outright hate, so Brie must be filled with unbridled hate-lust.
Poor Bobby, so easily manipulated by so many people. I feel bad for him because I don't think he can make it on his own in this world. It is easy to believe Connor talks him into things from the picture you painted.
Brie is quite a bit to deal with, lol, but her customers made that scene. Hilarious, every single one of them!
I agree with Bella, Connor is impossible to outright hate, so Brie must be filled with unbridled hate-lust.
Poor Bobby, so easily manipulated by so many people. I feel bad for him because I don't think he can make it on his own in this world. It is easy to believe Connor talks him into things from the picture you painted.
Brie is quite a bit to deal with, lol, but her customers made that scene. Hilarious, every single one of them!
3/22/2015 c4 3TheClosetWriter16
I really like how you set the scene at the beginning. I'm quite enjoying this story so far :)
3TheClosetWriter16I really like how you set the scene at the beginning. I'm quite enjoying this story so far :)
3/19/2015 c3 Taint.Revile.Elude
I adore Bella's Mama, she's caring but pulls no punches. Bella has a similar sort of disarming honesty about her, although I think she manipulates more often than her Mother because 1) she knows how, and 2) she's young. Connor is adorable with his, "married?" Lol. Yes, dude, that's the word that was used. Stop stuttering and make your claim, her husband's spot (physically and likely more so) is OPEN.
Cannot wait for these two new characters!
I adore Bella's Mama, she's caring but pulls no punches. Bella has a similar sort of disarming honesty about her, although I think she manipulates more often than her Mother because 1) she knows how, and 2) she's young. Connor is adorable with his, "married?" Lol. Yes, dude, that's the word that was used. Stop stuttering and make your claim, her husband's spot (physically and likely more so) is OPEN.
Cannot wait for these two new characters!
3/13/2015 c2 Taint.Revile.Elude
A not-so-good girl meets (and freaks) a not-so-good boy and sparks fly. I can tell they're both looking for something, a way out, obviously, but it's more than that. They are TNT and I cannot wait for their explosion. It's coming and I am tense for it.
Bella is married? Okay, wow! Johnny was all up in her kitchen, trying to drink her juice, so her marriage is a joke? Or what, everyone just want wants a piece of Bella's pie so bad that they ignore that band of gold?
Holy hell, does she even wear a little band of gold? Lol, I like this. From the style to the characters, to Bella's Mama who is surely a spitfire. I can imagine the interview she might give once the authorities and local news find out Bella wasn't taken but rather went willingly! Neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her daughter's decision. She just seems like that type of Mom.
A not-so-good girl meets (and freaks) a not-so-good boy and sparks fly. I can tell they're both looking for something, a way out, obviously, but it's more than that. They are TNT and I cannot wait for their explosion. It's coming and I am tense for it.
Bella is married? Okay, wow! Johnny was all up in her kitchen, trying to drink her juice, so her marriage is a joke? Or what, everyone just want wants a piece of Bella's pie so bad that they ignore that band of gold?
Holy hell, does she even wear a little band of gold? Lol, I like this. From the style to the characters, to Bella's Mama who is surely a spitfire. I can imagine the interview she might give once the authorities and local news find out Bella wasn't taken but rather went willingly! Neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her daughter's decision. She just seems like that type of Mom.