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for The Mirror

5/11/2015 c1 C. V. Atwood
This is one of the most fun and unique concepts I have ever read and it actually lends a ton of depth to your characters. Often times it is difficult to make it immediately clear a character is bad news. The author has to take some time to flesh the character out and do the whole actions speak louder than words dance, but by tying the appearance to the quality of their choices it becomes immediately obvious who the reader should be concerned about. Fantastic!

It does make me wonder, do they start to turn because they did something bad or because they think they are doing something bad? It makes me wonder where the line is between what is considered good behavior and what is not. It also makes me wonder if Ms. Patel lost some of her cleavage because she knew she was deceiving Adrian or because she suddenly wised up and stopped being naive.

The only thing that bugged me in this is that you use the phrase "I mean" a bit much for my liking. It really stood out. I don't know if this was a character choice, but if it wasn't you might consider reworking it some.

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