for Palate5/3/2015 c1 Jenny L. Gale
Interesting. It's almost like poetry. My initial interpretation was that the guy drinking the beer had killed him ... and I guess he had in a way.
I like your way with words. My favorite sentence: "I do not think I like the taste of blood..." Very simple and to the point. :)
Interesting. It's almost like poetry. My initial interpretation was that the guy drinking the beer had killed him ... and I guess he had in a way.
I like your way with words. My favorite sentence: "I do not think I like the taste of blood..." Very simple and to the point. :)
4/22/2015 c1 
8LadyDearie
I was intrigued by the title and the summary of this story. Here's my feedback:
As I read it, I don't quite understand what it was about. Only when I got to the Author's Note that I understood what you were trying to portray. And some of the parts were rather awkward and repetitive.
However, there were some sentences that I find quite captivating. They are:
"I enjoy the lingering sweetness of the chocolate."
"The taste is lost in the chaos that follows."
"the taste melts away as the world does the same."
Please do NOT let my feedback stop you from experimenting more with your writing. The idea that you had for this story was indeed very fascinating. I mean, it never once occurred to me to write a story from the perspective of a character's taste. That was brilliantly unique.
8LadyDearieI was intrigued by the title and the summary of this story. Here's my feedback:
As I read it, I don't quite understand what it was about. Only when I got to the Author's Note that I understood what you were trying to portray. And some of the parts were rather awkward and repetitive.
However, there were some sentences that I find quite captivating. They are:
"I enjoy the lingering sweetness of the chocolate."
"The taste is lost in the chaos that follows."
"the taste melts away as the world does the same."
Please do NOT let my feedback stop you from experimenting more with your writing. The idea that you had for this story was indeed very fascinating. I mean, it never once occurred to me to write a story from the perspective of a character's taste. That was brilliantly unique.
4/22/2015 c1 1Make or Break
Wow, I like that you write about things that not a lot of people write about. It's very good, and descriptive.
1Make or BreakWow, I like that you write about things that not a lot of people write about. It's very good, and descriptive.