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6/12/2015 c2 Jodiexxx
I'm going to be a bit busy to read the rest of the chapters so I'll get back to them later, but I really like where this is going so far. Heck, halfway into chapter 1 I was hooked already. I just wanted to drop a review first because I'm surprised you haven't gotten one yet.

First: your characters - I like. I like Nicki a lot. TBH I really like the premise of this story (I'm constantly writing drafts of similar ones e.g. group of girls banding together and combating mysteries but like Nicki I never finish the things I start...) because it's really just such a breath of fresh air from all the heavy romance stories. An all-girls, friendship plus zero-romances (haha get it? sorry) plot really caught my interest, especially since this is under the adventure and supernatural genre. Yay! Finally found one! Been looking for one for ages, damn.
And I like how Sandy is essentially the Nicki-tamer of sorts.

Also Nicki is hilarious - all the new nicknames and the girls getting confused... LOL. (Liv to Oblivion? LOL.) But seriously that was such a first-time 'gang' organization fail! I can't wait to go to the next chapter but unfortunately after this I have a bunch of irl shit to do sigh. I promise I'll be back later at night when I get back home. :B

Okay, some helpful feedback/tips on writing structure: for dialogue, ya gotta put a comma at the end of the sentence before you close the quotation mark when it's the end of the sentence. Errr I'm not sure how to phrase that eloquently so I'll give you some examples.

Original: "The rest of you can follow suite." Lloyd said.
Rectified: "The rest of you can follow suite," Lloyd said.
BTW, it's actually supposed to be 'suit'. suite is like a bunch of rooms.
So, you see the comma at the end instead of a period? Yup!

Another one - when you're writing a dialogue tag, following the quoted/spoken sentence anything that isn't a proper noun shouldn't be capitalized. Example:
Original: "Great." Said Sandy.
Rectified: "Great," said Sandy.
(Also I noticed you switch between 'Sandy said' and 'said Sandy' sometimes, and it might be smoother overall if you pick just one way - either said goes first or after.)
So, if it's a pronoun or a common noun, just keep it in uncapitalized.
e.g.
"Hello," he said.
"Hello," the man said.
"Hello," Harold said.
As for things like other punctuation marks that end a spoken sentence e.g. ? and ! the same rules above apply:
"Hello!" he said.
"Hello!" the man said.
"Hello?" he said.

Also, just additional info: if you want to put the "Lloyd said" in the middle of his sentence, the first letter of the phrase following the 'break' won't be capitalized.
e.g. "I thought you said that," Lloyd said, biting off a chunk of ice-cream, "you were forming a girl gang."
See the 'you'? The 'y' wasn't capitalized.
Of course, when they're two separate sentences, you'll have to put a period instead of a comma after the 'ice-cream' e.g.
"I love strawberries," Lloyd said. "They're cuter than you."

There're also a few grammatical/spelling errors, I can't go back to chapter 1 'cause I'll lose this typed out review so far, but here's one I spotted here:
"Let's just roll through this auditions, people!"
it should either be 'these auditions' or 'this audition' (either would work fine in this context)
'auditions' is in its plural form because of the -s, so 'these' is used to agree with the plural form. Same goes for 'this' agreeing with a singular form of the word such that 'this audition' is grammatical.

I normally don't provide lengthy feedback/grammatical help like that because I'm a lazy pig and it takes a lot of effort (and also normally those who need help don't have such intriguing plots that draw me in SCHOOL MYSTERIES AND FUNNY CHARACTERS YES PLEASE), but I really like your story enough to do this - so I'm hoping you'll take them into account because I think good writing structure could draw in even more readers :) Also maybe you might consider a beta reader for your chapters?

Thanks for sharing this with us and posting even up to chapter 7 (that I can't read right now augh!) even despite not receiving reviews so far! :D

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