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10/23/2015 c1 8rchll
I like your use of parentheses and how you add extra emphasis on certain phrases by doing so. I thought the poem build up to climax really well & delivered. I am left wondering what sort of consequences though...? What do you fear?
6/21/2015 c1 64atalantea
I like your similes. The tv loud but background noise, the moon, the wallpaper.
I don't get the ending though. Everything but that part is spelled out for the reader. Interesting that you left that up to them/us/me.
Anyway keep writing!

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