for I Am Not The Hero1/15/2018 c16 Rosezelene Ersa
Even as I find myself loosing interest in some of the stories I follow, this one is simply so much fun to read. I love watching the way you manipulate the story and the characters, not to mention the thought you put into narration. Thanks for writing such and intreguing story, oh author, bane of Asher Mara's existence!
Even as I find myself loosing interest in some of the stories I follow, this one is simply so much fun to read. I love watching the way you manipulate the story and the characters, not to mention the thought you put into narration. Thanks for writing such and intreguing story, oh author, bane of Asher Mara's existence!
11/10/2017 c15 23iu2309fjanka
Overall Impressions:
The only complaint I have is that the names are weird (even for the English language). This story borrows from Japanese anime/manga/light novel, etc. tropes, so it would make more sense for the characters to have Japanese names. But if you want to go with English, that's also fine. The problem is that some of these characters names sound like they belong more in a fantasy setting than a modern one. The biggest contender for worst name, in my opinion, is that of "Asher Mara", the main character of your story.
What the hell is that!? That sounds like the name of a charismatic rogue on the run from bounty hunters (hired by some oppressive regime for being a revolutionary as part of his dark, convoluted past). Not the name of some average youth just trying to get by while the universe attempts to troll him at every step.
It may not seem that big of a deal, but the awkward, out-of-place names really break the immersion of the story. They're okay when they're done with fantastical characters (like that vampire lolita), but when done with modern students in a supposedly modern high school setting, it sounds like their parents were just setting them up to be bullied. But since everyone now has an obnoxiously unique name, no one can bully the other for that fact. So everyone is sort of just at a standstill, waiting for someone like "Greg" or "John" to appear so they can all be like "ha ha, your name follows the standards set forth by the English language."
As such, I would consider changing them. "Emi Ballad" is okay. The student council president's name (which I can't even remember) is a little iffy.
If you want to go the route of giving every character a unique name just to make the MC unintentionally stand out more, that's fine. But "Asher Mara" isn't really going to have as big of an impact, in this setting, as something like "John Smith" or "John Doe" (if you want to get all symbolic).
Overall Impressions:
The only complaint I have is that the names are weird (even for the English language). This story borrows from Japanese anime/manga/light novel, etc. tropes, so it would make more sense for the characters to have Japanese names. But if you want to go with English, that's also fine. The problem is that some of these characters names sound like they belong more in a fantasy setting than a modern one. The biggest contender for worst name, in my opinion, is that of "Asher Mara", the main character of your story.
What the hell is that!? That sounds like the name of a charismatic rogue on the run from bounty hunters (hired by some oppressive regime for being a revolutionary as part of his dark, convoluted past). Not the name of some average youth just trying to get by while the universe attempts to troll him at every step.
It may not seem that big of a deal, but the awkward, out-of-place names really break the immersion of the story. They're okay when they're done with fantastical characters (like that vampire lolita), but when done with modern students in a supposedly modern high school setting, it sounds like their parents were just setting them up to be bullied. But since everyone now has an obnoxiously unique name, no one can bully the other for that fact. So everyone is sort of just at a standstill, waiting for someone like "Greg" or "John" to appear so they can all be like "ha ha, your name follows the standards set forth by the English language."
As such, I would consider changing them. "Emi Ballad" is okay. The student council president's name (which I can't even remember) is a little iffy.
If you want to go the route of giving every character a unique name just to make the MC unintentionally stand out more, that's fine. But "Asher Mara" isn't really going to have as big of an impact, in this setting, as something like "John Smith" or "John Doe" (if you want to get all symbolic).
9/25/2017 c2 
1Datathee
This is a great start. What's up with Asher? He clearly has the skills to be an Active player.
I can't wait to read more!
1DatatheeThis is a great start. What's up with Asher? He clearly has the skills to be an Active player.
I can't wait to read more!
9/23/2017 c15 Chiisutofupuru
Ahahahaha,
Poor Asher.
Is this route gunna kill him?
Ahahahaha,
Poor Asher.
Is this route gunna kill him?
9/11/2017 c14 2Chiisutofupuru
Moral of the chapter: don't let strange people (that have previously attacked you) into your house.
2ChiisutofupuruMoral of the chapter: don't let strange people (that have previously attacked you) into your house.
9/4/2017 c13 Chiisutofupuru
The universe is a dick.
HahahaHahaha
What has Asher done in his past to have karma like he has?
(Or does karma have anything to do with it?)
The universe is a dick.
HahahaHahaha
What has Asher done in his past to have karma like he has?
(Or does karma have anything to do with it?)
3/15/2017 c12 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
This is a great chapter! Finally Asher returns to proactively escaping from the chosen one route! This is what I am here for!
Emi is really creepy and annoying. Good job, Asher, in ignoring her and switching your phone to silent. Seriously, though, if someone does that to me in real life, I would be reporting her to the police for stalking and harrassment.
I'm looking forward to reading more, and I'm grateful that you posted the link!
1Tomoyuki TanakaHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
This is a great chapter! Finally Asher returns to proactively escaping from the chosen one route! This is what I am here for!
Emi is really creepy and annoying. Good job, Asher, in ignoring her and switching your phone to silent. Seriously, though, if someone does that to me in real life, I would be reporting her to the police for stalking and harrassment.
I'm looking forward to reading more, and I'm grateful that you posted the link!
3/14/2017 c12 Guest
Hell yeah! New chapter! D
He's gotten out of being the chosen one(probably) now to see what happens next!
Hell yeah! New chapter! D
He's gotten out of being the chosen one(probably) now to see what happens next!
3/5/2017 c11 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Oh goodness...as if Emi isn't enough, we have another bitch character. I don't mean that in an offensive manner, just using that word to simply describe violent, abusive girls.
And Asher still thinks he can escape from being a hero? Actually, where did that aspect go? It's just him being led from one trope to another, and he doesn't even make an effort to break out of those tropes. I'm getting confused now. Come on, Asher. I know you want to be a passive player, but you need to be active to be passive. If that makes sense.
And then that cliffhanger at the end. Wow. You left the story hanging like that and didn't update for eight months? What happened? I'm guessing real life got in the way of that, and I understand. Oh well. I hope you sort things out and update this story again. Please don't leave us dangling in such a cruel fashion!
1Tomoyuki TanakaOh goodness...as if Emi isn't enough, we have another bitch character. I don't mean that in an offensive manner, just using that word to simply describe violent, abusive girls.
And Asher still thinks he can escape from being a hero? Actually, where did that aspect go? It's just him being led from one trope to another, and he doesn't even make an effort to break out of those tropes. I'm getting confused now. Come on, Asher. I know you want to be a passive player, but you need to be active to be passive. If that makes sense.
And then that cliffhanger at the end. Wow. You left the story hanging like that and didn't update for eight months? What happened? I'm guessing real life got in the way of that, and I understand. Oh well. I hope you sort things out and update this story again. Please don't leave us dangling in such a cruel fashion!
3/5/2017 c10 Tomoyuki Tanaka
I searched for it, but nope, I can't find the tumblr. Weird. Damn it, why isn't Fictionpress working?
I'll go search for your novel. Inkitt, right? I'll look for Archangel then.
This story is, well, basically I was under the impression that you were going for something different, but it's ending up like Kanojo ga flag wo oreratara or simmilar light novels where the protagonist claims to not be a hero, but ends up being a hero anyway, with all the cliched childhood friend in love with him trope (ugh), attracting supernatural beings, etc. I don't know, I was hoping for more comedy and success, but his failures to escape just render this another typical hero novel, quite ironic, considering the title, really. But then if he succeeds in running away, then I guess you wouldn't have a story to tell, huh? I don't know...well, being a horrible writer myself, I guess I shouldn't try to think too much and enjoy your story for what it is.
By the way, Bram Stoker wasn't the first person to write about vampires. His Dracula novel is based off what he heard about Vlad the Impaler, and he combined it with an Irish (I think) folktale, plus there was already an existing vampire story back then, imaginatively titled "Vampyre". No, I'm not kidding. It predates Dracula. So Stoker wasn't the first nor was he the one who created vampires. He just popularized it or became the most famous author for it.
I searched for it, but nope, I can't find the tumblr. Weird. Damn it, why isn't Fictionpress working?
I'll go search for your novel. Inkitt, right? I'll look for Archangel then.
This story is, well, basically I was under the impression that you were going for something different, but it's ending up like Kanojo ga flag wo oreratara or simmilar light novels where the protagonist claims to not be a hero, but ends up being a hero anyway, with all the cliched childhood friend in love with him trope (ugh), attracting supernatural beings, etc. I don't know, I was hoping for more comedy and success, but his failures to escape just render this another typical hero novel, quite ironic, considering the title, really. But then if he succeeds in running away, then I guess you wouldn't have a story to tell, huh? I don't know...well, being a horrible writer myself, I guess I shouldn't try to think too much and enjoy your story for what it is.
By the way, Bram Stoker wasn't the first person to write about vampires. His Dracula novel is based off what he heard about Vlad the Impaler, and he combined it with an Irish (I think) folktale, plus there was already an existing vampire story back then, imaginatively titled "Vampyre". No, I'm not kidding. It predates Dracula. So Stoker wasn't the first nor was he the one who created vampires. He just popularized it or became the most famous author for it.
3/5/2017 c9 Tomoyuki Tanaka
I forgot to ask this in the last review, but wasn't Emi supposed to go to the mall with her friends? What happened to her friends? In the end, it was just her and Asher, wasn't it? Did her friends ditch her or something? I know they didn't want to wake up early to visit the opening of the mall, but I had assumed that it meant they would meet up later in the afternoon. Did they actually intend to cancel the whole mall visit altogether?
If so, her forcing Asher to come along with her is pure selfishness. I know it's exaggerated for comedic effect, but I've got a terrible sense of humor...I guess.
Okay, I see what you're trying to do with Felicity now. So that's why she just let Asher off yesterday. Huh. Weird. Okay, let's see where this is going. I guess we do need a situation for Asher to escape from, right? To be honest, if I were him, I would just stake her in the heart and be done with it. Running away doesn't make you less of a hero, and to be honest, if he's that bothered with all the trouble, it'll be better to eliminate the problem once and for all instead of constantly running away from it. That's just me though.
I forgot to ask this in the last review, but wasn't Emi supposed to go to the mall with her friends? What happened to her friends? In the end, it was just her and Asher, wasn't it? Did her friends ditch her or something? I know they didn't want to wake up early to visit the opening of the mall, but I had assumed that it meant they would meet up later in the afternoon. Did they actually intend to cancel the whole mall visit altogether?
If so, her forcing Asher to come along with her is pure selfishness. I know it's exaggerated for comedic effect, but I've got a terrible sense of humor...I guess.
Okay, I see what you're trying to do with Felicity now. So that's why she just let Asher off yesterday. Huh. Weird. Okay, let's see where this is going. I guess we do need a situation for Asher to escape from, right? To be honest, if I were him, I would just stake her in the heart and be done with it. Running away doesn't make you less of a hero, and to be honest, if he's that bothered with all the trouble, it'll be better to eliminate the problem once and for all instead of constantly running away from it. That's just me though.