Just In
for The Trade

7/26/2015 c1 28mikey magee
I love the repetition of "She Stands Nude." Each repetition was given a different meaning due to the line that came before it.

And I love the image this poem conjures. The idea that emotions, (even crude ones, like lust, and complex ones like the beginning of love) come with strings. This poem makes me think of loss (loss of possibility, or loss of fantasy). And yet the trade is one sided. She has given up something, but he has gained.

And the repetition of the -ly words (hungrily, hopefully, etc...) was well timed and added a strange sense of music.

Wonderful piece :)
7/22/2015 c1 63yanz
I liked the repetition of the line "she stands nude in his midst", it provides a really vivid image that strengthens every time and emphasizes her passivity in this "one-sided trade". I also liked the structural parallels with each stanza, how the third line are all adjectives in groups of three, it creates a nice rhythm. Also noticed that you used each of "cautiously, longingly, hungrily" separately in the middle three stanzas, that was a nice touch, like you're expanding on each of the three.
7/17/2015 c1 5IzzieA
Ok. I need a few answers: Is he imagining her before him, or did she reject him, because "He lets her go in this one-sided trade"? Please, please PM me with the answers! :D

This, of course, is yet another amazing poem by you! A truly, well-written poem!

What I liked best was the use of repetition. Of course, the line "She stands nude in his midst" is the most repeated one, but what I found really powerful was the fact that you repeated the line "cautiously, longingly, hungrily" in the first and last stanzas, as this seems to suggests that he was excited at the beginning, when the "trade begins" but is perhaps sad, disappointed at the end, when the "trade ends". I think, it is remarkable how you managed to portray two different emotions through the use of the very same sequence of words!

I like that your poem is not exactly straightforward, and that it made me question what I was reading, for this would ensure that it is not an easily forgetable read!

You definitely have a talent, and although this is only the second poem of yours that I've read so far, I believe I have seen enough to justify my "favoriting" and following you as an author on fp! :)

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